I don’t think he believes me, he sure is staring at me like I’m crazy. If this is how Giles reacts I hate to think how Angel will take it, of course maybe I don’t tell him, feed him some lie about being Riley’s child.

“Are you sure?” Giles asks me.

“You said it was possible,” I point out.

“Yes, I did,” Giles reminds himself more than anything.

I look at him pacing around his lounge room, he realises and sits down next to me. “You said it was possible. And I sure know that this child could be the result of the dreams I’ve been having. I mean they felt so real, and,” I loose track for a minute in my memories, I snap back “And can you explain it any other way.”

“Well, you seem sure it isn’t Riley’s.”

“Timing and, Giles just,” my eyes start to burn “what do I do?” He holds me in his arms as I cry. When I calm down again he looks at me in his fatherly way “I’d start by figuring out if you want to tell Angel or not, then if you want to keep, yes just start with Angel.”

I look at the new Angel Investigations, it sure is big. Room for me and a baby, but who am I kidding Angel has got a life here saving souls or whatever. A new life here without me, and he’s helping people and doing good. He doesn’t need this burden in his life. I take one final look at his house and turn away.

Everyone was supportive, even Xander who kept his comments to himself. Spike (I don’t know how he found out) just mumbled something about his sire getting my attention and to knock me up. Giles couldn’t believe I could confront my friends and not Angel, but he left it at that. I knew they were trying to replace my mother and make all the fuss she would of. I knew she lost all hope of grandchildren when she found out what being a slayer actually meant. I can’t believe that I got pregnant after she died. Especially in this totally irrational way, I mean I got pregnant from dreaming I was sleeping with Angel. I look at my father’s phone number, I know I have to tell Dawn. If she found out when she came back she’d be very pissed, she already complains about having to live with Dad, and if she missed out on finding out, well, I wouldn’t want to be there. But whether I tell Dad or not, I mean, he plays a little bit more in my life now. I think I’ll wait till I think of a cover story. When I get on the phone to Dawn she’s really excited because she came first in English or something. “Dawn,” I interrupt her mid speech.

“Rude much,” she spits back.

“Sorry, it’s just I have to tell you something.”

Suddenly she becomes serious “Buffy what’s wrong?”

“Well, I haven’t told Dad so just act normal.”

“I’ll try.”

“No you will, I’m, pregnant.” 

Silence follows, which worries me, as it is a rare event from Dawn to be silent. “Really, no, you got a new boyfriend? You didn’t tell me.”

“No,” I wonder how I’m going to explain this “It’s Angel’s.”

“Get out.”

“No, it happened through dreams.”

“Have you told Angel?”

“No.”

“Are you keeping it?”

“Dad better not be listening.”

“He’s not, so are you.”

Before she asked I guess I still hadn’t decided, or maybe I had subconsciously. I did tell everyone “Yeah.”

“Cool.”

“Hardly, I’m gonna tell Dad, just not yet.”

“Okay, he’s coming back, I better go. But Buffy, I think you should tell Angel.”

“Yeah, so do I.”

“Your hopeless, anyway seeya.”

“Yeah, seeya,” I reply and hang up the phone. I know Dawn’s not the only one who thinks I need to tell Angel. I want to, but I can’t. The way he yelled at me about Riley when I was in LA that time, and how I replied. I can’t go back and say ‘Your right I know it was mean to rub Riley in your face, but he cheated on me with a vampire so now he’s gone. Now because of some dreams I had I’m pregnant with your child, do you want to try again with our relationship?’ Somehow I don’t think anyone even kind understanding Angel would take that.

I lie down on my bed and flip through the yearbook from high school. There’s a photograph of me and Angel dancing at the prom, my eyes start to fill with tears. Its been a bit over two months since I found out I was pregnant, I’m three months along, still fairly thin too and I still haven’t told Angel. Every time I try I can’t bring myself to. I start to cry and soon sleep over takes me.

Dad reacted much more calmly than I expected him too, he tried very hard to not get angry but in the end had ‘an appointment’ to go to, so I went slaying. It was good to get out, Giles just won’t let me slay, everyone else especially Spike has been slaying for me. But I figure that low impact slaying can’t do me any harm. I walk around my old slaying routine, before I went to Sunnydale. It’s a nice night and I walk lazily around almost forgetting what I’m meant to do, when I feel my slayer senses kick-start. I pull a stake from my pocket and clutch it in my hand, my other hand rests on my stomach as a reassurance to Angel’s child I won’t let it get hurt. I slay the vampire quickly, it feels good to actually slay, I’ve felt so caged up, and then I saw the rest of them. About ten vampires all crowded around me, I couldn’t fight this many at the best of times, and not while trying not to have a miscarriage. I hear my self whimper involuntary. I stake three of the vampires by taking them by surprise, but that approach doesn’t last for long. Before I could stop it, I felt myself crash into the brick wall of the cemetery. I hit the wall hard and struggle to get up. Two vampires dust in front of me, after they turn to dust I see a very angry and scared looking Dawn in front of me, a stake in each hand. Before Dawn hears my scream of warning, a vampire knocks her over. I suddenly find strength and jump at the vampire on Dawn, in the mess Dawn gets out. My attempt at turning the vampire over fails and he has me pinned beneath me. I close my eyes so I don’t cry, I’m going to die and so is my child because I went slaying even when I shouldn’t of. I suddenly feel the weight on me gone, and through teary vision I see Angel kill the rest of the vampires. He offers me his hand and I take it, he pulls me up carefully. I look into his beautiful eyes, I seem lost in them until Dawn starts yelling at me. “How could you be so stupid. For someone who is always telling me I have to remember the rules about vampires and you go slaying. Are you trying to kill you and-”

I realise what she’s going to say, “Dawn, no.”

She stops “Why not, I’m sure Angel would agree. Especially since he has such an interest.”

“Dawn, don’t,” I warn her. I know in her own annoying way she’s trying to help but I can’t cope with a confrontation now. I look at Angel, he looks very confused, “What’s going on?” he asks concerned.

Dawn looks at me expectantly, “Well?”

My head is spinning and my whole body is aching and I say the lamest thing I think I possibly could of, “I’ll tell you later.”

“Do you want me to explain?” Dawn asks.

“No, I want you to go home, I’ll tell him,” I promise her and in a way myself.

“Fine,” she says and walks off. I usually would have walked her home but it was two blocks, she’d be fine.

“Your hurt,” Angel says worried. I briefly remember the last time he said that, I only just refrain from crying. “Just a scratch,” I reply meekly.

“Hardly. If you want you can come back to my place, I’ll put some bandages on your cuts. And you can explain?” Angel responds, and gently helps me to his place.

His touch is still gentle, he puts bandages on my cuts and rubs ointment on to my bruises. I take a deep breath, I have to tell him sooner or later, it may as well be sooner. 

“Angel, I have to tell you something,” I say.   

“Not now, you took quite a beating you should rest, tell me in the morning,” he replies. He leaves the room and comes back with a pair of pants and a tank top “You can sleep in these.” I look at him surprised, “There Cordy’s, she leaves them here if she stays late,” he explains.

“Right of course,” I answer. I look around his room, “So which room do I stay in, do I get a key?”

He smiles his gorgeous crooked smile, “This room, and no keys.”

“And you’re going to sleep?” I ask.    

“I live in a hotel, I’ll find somewhere,” he assures me and gets up to leave. He gently kisses me on the forehead, “Goodnight,” he whispers and leaves. “Goodnight,” I whisper back and soon sleep claims me.

The first thing I hear when I wake up is Cordelia screeching Angels name, with the door open. “What,” he says looking at me then her.

“If you insist with your little mascarade with Darla can you warn us first, so we’re prepared to stake you?” she asks calmly.

“Huh,” Angel asks generally confused.

“Wait till I’m finished,” she tells him, then raising her voice “But there my PJ’s.”

“That’s not Darla, that’s Buffy,” Angel tells her.

“Oh,” Cordelia replies “she can wear my clothes.”

“She’s taller, and dust,” I say, still half asleep. Then what she said hits me “Hey, what mascarade?”

“Thanks Cordy, and I told you it’s over, I staked her,” Angel says defensively.

“Whatever,” Cordelia shrugs and leaves. 

Angel comes in and sits on the side of the bed next to me, “How are you.”

“Fine, what mascarade,” I ask.

“It’s over now,” he relies, a bit of shame in his voice.

“I saw you dust her ages ago,” I say totally confused. I desperately want to know what’s wrong.

“She got raised from hell by an evil law firm. Stuff happened, I don’t want to go in to it,” he part snapped at me. I visibly flinch from what and how he said it. He says and instantly his expression softens, “I’m sorry, it was really hard and I’m not proud of what happened. And I don’t want you to you know what I did, but it’s over, she’s dust once again,” then desperately wanting to change the subject “You have something to explain to.” I look around the room, trying to find something to distract him with, I come to a loss. He squeezes my hand “I know it’s not fair to ask you to except the explanation I gave you, but Dawn was really worried which makes me worried, please tell me.”
I sit up in bed and find my reason to defer telling him, feeling guilty I say “No it’s not. You first.”

He looks me straight in the eye and tells me. My heart breaks for him, I wish desperately I’d been there for him. Of course I was going through my own problems so I wouldn’t have been much help. Then he tells me, he slept with her. God it hurts, especially after he went off at me for moving on. But I have to ask, I have to know “Then why do you still have you soul?”

I think he nearly smiles “well she didn’t make me happy.”

I smile in spite of myself, “Right.”

When he finishes and tells me how he killed her he breathes a sigh of relief “Okay, it’s nice to get that out of the way.”

“Psychiatrists say it’s good to get it off your chest,” I respond.

“Yeah, well now you have to tell me.”

My stomach tightens in a huge knot, “Okay. About three months ago, did you, have dreams?”

“I dream often.”

“No, about me. Well actually us I guess.”

I feel so much relief when he mutters “Yeah. Then they stopped about three weeks later.”

“What were they about?”

“Oh no. They were naughty boy dreams, I’m not sharing.”

I take a deep breath, and just blurt it out “I’m pregnant.”

There’s a moment of silence from both of us. Then he says “From, from the Dreams?”

“Yeah, and don’t ask about Riley. He was cheating on me with a vampire so he went. Before the dreams started,” I add for reassurance.

“And, you’re keeping-”

“Yeah.”

He tries, he really does but he can’t stop the smile that covers his gorgeous face.

I too smile “I don’t think you’re allowed to smile,” I tell him playfully.

He covers his mouth “I’m sorry, but I might have to leave if that’s the case.”

“I’m just glad your not, angry,” I tell him.

He looks at me and pushes a bit hair from my face “I am, furious actually, but not about the baby.”

I’m utterly confused, “About what then?”

He gets off the bed and leans against the wall, “That you went patrolling.”

“Angel, I’m the slayer, you know that.” I tell him.

“Sorry, it’s just I thought you said you were keeping it.”

“What? I am,” I almost yell at him.

“Then why in the hell are you trying to kill both of you?” He yells back at me. What he says hurts so much, I cry. After Riley left I said I’d never cry over a guy again, but I still do. Maybe because I know his right, and whatever I’ve been telling myself about Slayer urges is a load of crap. He looks at me cry, that’s when I see a tear roll down his face “Buffy, I’m sorry,” then he leaves the room. I lie back in the bed and cry myself to sleep.   

I wake up to Angel softly stroking my hair, I lay there for a short time just enjoying his touch. I’ve missed it so much. Eventually I open my eyes and look at him. “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he tells me. I can see his eyes are red, he’s been crying too.

“You had every right to,” I tell him. Which is very much the truth.

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t need to yell anyway,” he replies.

I just break down again, I think it must be my pregnancy. I’m meant to expect mood swings, and usually I can control my emotions. But I break down his arms sobbing “I’m sorry, I know it was stupid, and I shouldn’t of done it.” He holds me as I cry, he tells me it’s all right, and that it’s okay. But really what sort of mother am I going to be if I can’t even protect the baby through pregnancy. After I’ve calmed down he gets a cool cloth and wipes my sore red eyes. 

“Come on, have a shower. Then come downstairs and have something to eat.”

I feel so sick from crying I don’t think I can keep food down, “I don’t feel well enough to eat.”

“You’re going to eat, you need to. Even if I have to force it down your throat,” he jokingly threatens.

I actually laugh in spite of myself, “That was a bit graphic.”

He also laughs, “It was wasn’t it. Anyway, there’s a red towel in the bathroom, it’s clean.”

“Thanks,” I tell him. He gets up to leave and I grab his hand, he turns around and looks at me with those big brown eyes “Angel, I mean it. Thankyou.”

He squeezes my hand; “You’re more than welcome.”

I feel so refreshed after a shower and breakfast. I walk into the main office bit and both Cordy and Wesley look at me. I turn to Angel and give him a fake glare “That stayed secret for long.”

Angel shrugged “Hey, I’m going to be a father. I’m allowed to tell my friends.”

I go and sit down next to him, he holds my hand “Okay, you’re forgiven,” I tell him. It’s kind of silent for a while, Cordy and Wesley are researching some demon and I can see Angel is thinking, of happy things. Then Cordelia grabs her head, Wesley reaches for a packet of pain killers. And I suddenly feel jealous, Angel goes over and holds her while she’s in pain and well, they have a rhythm, a system. It’s just there so much a family, and I’m not. But I go over and of course, I can’t do anything. But suddenly they’re about to go out to save someone. “I’ll be back soon,” he promises me.

“What. No, I’m coming,” I tell him.

“No, your not. Watch TV or something,” he replies grabbing a sword.

“Angel, I’m the slayer. I have to do this.”

Then he kisses me, I’d forgotten how much I loved the feel of his lips on mine. The kiss seemed to last forever, he gently pulls away “And as the mother of our baby, can you just leave it to me.”

How can I resist, I mean, really. “That’s not fair,” I whine.

He kisses me again, “Do it for me.”

I give up “Okay, but if you need any help-”

“I’ll call,” he promises and leaves.  

It seems forever before he comes back, but the first thing he does is sit next to me, 
“Hey.”

“Did it go all right?” I ask, part of me wants him to say ‘no I came back for you to help’ but that’s the slayer urges again.

He puts his arm around me, and hugs me. I snuggle into his shoulder, and he replies “It went fine, killed the demon, saved the girl.”

“Sounds like fun,” I grumble.

He squeezes me tighter “Come on, I thought you always wanted a break.”

“I’ve been breaking for three and a half months, I’m bored. I mean, I can now sympathize with Giles.” 

“And for those that live a couple of hours away.”

“He watched Passions with Spike.”

“Giles watched Passions with Spike, you’ve got to be kidding me. Was Spike torturing him, cause he usually uses sharp objects? Or gets someone else to do it.” 

“You don’t know,” I smile.

“Know what?”

“Poor little Spikey Wikey went to the vets and can’t chase cars with the other dogs anymore.”

“You’re kidding, what happened.”

I snuggle closer “It was the one good thing Riley achieved,” I mutter.

He starts stroking my hair, “Can I get details?”

I laugh “Jealous Ex much.”

“I never liked him, so tell me, please.”

“Yeah, I should of dumped him them. Well, my mum was sick and I didn’t share my problems with him and he didn’t feel needed or some such crap, so he decided to play with the vampires behind my back. Then Spike showed me what he was doing and when I didn’t say I wanted him to stay, he left.”

“Did you want to talk about your mum?” he asks me, always trying to help. God I’ve missed him.

“Not really,” I say “But that’s why I was here. Dawn’s staying with my Dad and I was protecting her.”

“From your dad,” he jokes.

“Hey,” I tell him as I turn around and play hit him on the arm. He catches it and pulls me closer. My heart misses a beat, his lips are so close to mine. And finally they connect, he pulls me down on top of him on the couch and we stay like that for a long time, just kissing and holding. 

Until Miss-I-was-a-cheerleader-therefor-I’ll-just-walk-in-at-anytime showed up. “Um, you’re in a hotel, the saying ‘get a room’ is really appropriate here.” We both stop and look guilty, I climb off and sit next to him, fiddling with my hair. Angel gets off the couch and runs his fingers through his gorgeous hair, “Is there something you wanted?” he asks annoyed.

“Ow, Grouchy much. Actually our multimillionaire friend David is here about the financing,” came Cordelia’s reply.

“Multimillionaire friend?” I ask suspiciously.

“He’s really nice, a bit lost though,” He takes my hand and pulls me up “Come and meet him.”

He takes me out into the front and says “Buffy this is David, David meet Buffy.” 

I shake his hand “It’s nice to meet you.” Suddenly I feel really happy, and not just because of Angel and me making out. He’s introducing me to a friend, a business colleague.

“Pleasures mine,” he replies. Angel and him start talking about figures and loans and finance. It’s so weird, put him in a tie, give him a pulse and he’s your local representative for the bank of Singapore.

Cordelia taps me on the shoulder, “Have you met Gunn yet?”

“No,” I reply.

She rolls her eyes as the front doors are swung open “Well, here he is.”

He walks over and sits on a desk, he looks at me then Cordelia “She related to Darla?”

Cordelia looks at the ceiling, Wesley stops reading and Angel and David stop talking. I look at him and smile “No, but he had sex with the both of us, only I’m alive so I got pregnant.”

Gunn just stares at me, Angel tries not too laugh “Buffy, play nice.”

“Oh shit, you’re Buffy. Sorry man,” he apologizes instantly.

“Buffy, you want to go shopping?” Cordelia pipes up.

“Sure,” I reply. Angel reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet, he looks through it and frowns. He reluctantly hands me a hundred dollars. 

“Thanks,” I reply, I so wasn’t expecting that. 

He smiles, then turns to David “And lets just add another hundred to that figure.”

I think Gunn is feeling guilty, he’s sort of just hanging around when we get back. I hand Angel thirty dollars, he looks at me surprised “Change?”

“Well, I didn’t spend it all,” I explained.

He smiles “Must tell David to make it seventy dollars.” I yawn, again I’m tired. “You okay?” Angel asks me worried.

“I’m just tried,” I reply.

Suddenly he’s on Buffy patrol, “Maybe you should lie down, have a rest.”

“I’m fine, really,” I tell him. After all I slept for most of the morning and it’s only the afternoon.

But it doesn’t convince him “No, you’re going upstairs to lie down,” and pushes me up the stairs. I can only laugh. “What?” he asks.

“Angel, I’m fine.”

“If you’re tired, rest. I don’t want you overdoing it, okay,” he says and pulls back the covers on the bed.

I climb in and stretch “This is the life, I should have told you three months ago.”

He looks at me and raises an eyebrow “Yeah, you should of,” and leaves the room. 

“Yes, but she’s sleeping. She needs rest, just wait down stairs,” Angel replies.

“Nah, it’s okay. I wake her up all the time, besides the really bad mood swings haven’t started yet.” Dawn swings the door open and jumps on the bed “Hey, how are you?”

“Asleep two minutes ago,” I groan.

“Your more grouchy since you got pregnant,” she informs me.

“Really,” I look at Angel “It’s his fault.”

“Hey, no fair,” Angel replies and jumps on the bed too. Our eyes meet, and Dawn’s babbling about Dad’s latest girlfriend fades into the background. 

Dawn suddenly shuts up, “You shut up,” I say.

“I know that look, you two about to start snogging. I’m leaving,” she says and leaves the room.

“Okay,” I mutter before Angel’s lips meet mine.

When we finally emerge downstairs, Dawn is still there. “So can I actually speak to you now, or are you going to choke yourself on his tongue?”

“Sure, and get another line. Actually I feel energetic so lets go for a walk. I probably should check in with Dad anyway,” I reply.

“Be back before sundown,” I hear Angel say.

“Yes sir,” I throw back at him.

“Cool, well seeya,” Dawn chirps and drags me out the door. After I’m out I’m sure I hear Wesley ask Angel “Did you tell her about the prophecy?”

Dawn just wanted to chat I think, she didn’t have anything much to say. She wanted to know how I was excluding all the ‘gross unnecessary bits they put in human development shows’.  She misses Mum, even though she isn’t, wasn’t her real mum. It must be hard on her, to lose someone who was made from made-up memories anyway. Dad was glad to see I was okay, I actually think he worries sometimes. He told me Willow called to see how I was doing. So I said my good-byes and went back home, or Angel’s place. I’m so confused; it’s like we’re together again, but maybe he just ‘need to feel something’. It looks like another ‘talk’ is on the agenda tonight. 

Angel was not pleased when I came back five minutes after sundown. “Hey, I’m, we’re both fine and I didn’t get to slay any vamps, so don’t chuck a hissy.”

“Good,” he replied and gave me a hug.

“Angel, we need to talk,” I tell him quietly.

“The most dangerous words ever muttered by a woman, we need to talk,” Gunn quipped.

“And not just any woman,” Angel replied.

“The slayer,” I say.

“No,” he grins, then whispers in my ear “my woman.” I suspect my face turned bright red then.

“Well, I think it is time for us to depart,” Wesley said.

“Yeah, seeya tomorrow,” Cordelia says and grabs her coat.

“Later,” Gunn says and Angel’s three employees leave the office. 

I turn around and watch them close the door after them, suddenly I feel Angel’s arms around my waist and his chin on my head “What’s wrong.”

“I’m just, I don’t know. It’s us, I mean, is there an us? Is this just a need to feel something?” I ask.

He gently turns me around and cups my cheek, “Buffy, I love you, I never stopped. I left because I loved you, and I wanted the best for you. And I thought that would be without me. But this,” he says and lays a hand gently on my stomach “wouldn’t of happened if it wasn’t meant to. If weren’t meant to be together.” 

To say I’m surprised and relieved would still be an understatement. “Oh god Angel, I love you so much and I’ve missed you terribly,” I say tears falling down my face.

“Shhh,” Angel says, wiping away my tears. “It’s okay, we’re together now that’s all that matters.” 

Suddenly I get a huge sense of Déjà vu, but I ignore it. Instead I kiss him. I feel Angel’s arms slide around my waist, lifting the fabric of my top and pulling me closer. He lifts me up into his arms and he carries me upstairs.

I know it was irresponsible, and stupid, and incredibly risky. But we made love anyway, and Angel still has his soul so no damage done. I haven’t felt this happy in so long, I love the way Angel plays with my hair, twirling it around my fingers. But it’s been bothering me so I have to ask “You know when you said ‘we’re together now, that’s all that matters’?”

Angel looks at me “Yeah,” he says his voice shaking.

“I got this huge sense of Déjà vu and I was wondering if it was something you’ve said before. I can’t remember that’s all.”

“You really want to know?” he asks.

“Angel, what I it?” I ask. 

Then he tells me, I think I could have staked him right there. “No, if you loved me you would of-”

“Watch helplessly as you get killed,” Angel fill in.

“Fair enough. But it still hurts,” I say, I sit up in bed covering myself with the sheets.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” Angel tells me.

I look at him “I should be angry, furious even. Why do you always have to do what’s right and proper?”

“Don’t be angry, there is a prophecy that says I’ll become human soon anyway,” then he looks at me and his naked chest “and I don’t always do the right thing.”

All my anger vanishes, I pounce on him “Sure as hell right in my books,” and start kissing his chest.

Angel and I are both jolted awake by the sound of the door closing. “Cordelia,” he says.

“Oh hell,” I reply, “We better go down and face the jury.”

“Yeah, before they come back with the ruling,” Angel replies. We chuck on the clothes that lay on the floor, and head downstairs.

“Well that was an incredibly stupid thing to do,” Wesley greeted us, holding a stake by his side.

“Too late, guilty verdict,” I mutter.

“I didn’t lose my soul, you can put down the stake,” Angel told Wesley.

“Oh really. Darla may not of done it but I was there when Buffy did. So, prove it,” Cordelia snaps.

I look at Angel, “Um, he would have killed you all by now,” I offer.

“That’s a good point man,” Gunn says.

Angel pulls my hair up from my neck, “I would of turned her into a vampire and killed all of you by now.”

“Maybe I would of helped,” I joked.

Wesley reluctantly puts the stake down on the table, “It was still stupid.”

“If we weren’t sure we wouldn’t have,” Angel says trying to reassure him.

“Besides,” I say leaning back into Angel. He puts his arms around my stomach and I put my hands over his “I’m not too keen on having the father of child being a murdering vampire again.”

“So I heard,” Wesley mutters.

Angel and I look at each other and say at the same time “Watcher’s Gossip.”       

I think everyone was pleased that problem, wasn’t an issue anymore. Even Xander who said “Well, at least when you two get horny we don’t have to fear for our lives.” Willow was ecstatic for me, she insisted we have a desert feast to celebrate. Halfway through a strawberry cheesecake Willow asked, “Are you going to move in with him?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.

“Well, seeing you’re almost four months maybe you should think about it.”

“I know. It’s like a ‘let’s change the subject’ subject. I wanna be with you guys, you’re my friends, my family. But it’s hard for Angel to come down, he has the investigations agency. But now Angel and I can be together, I don’t want to waste it, in case I lose it”.

“I see your point, not to mention Sunnydale isn’t the safest place.”

I hadn’t even thought of that, “You’re so right. It’s dangerous for anyone, especially a slayer. I think a slayer’s baby would be,” just thinking about it makes me feel ill “lets not go there.”

“I think your going to be a good mother,” Willow said out of the blue.

“Thanks,” I stammer. No one had actually said it before now. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been worried. I remember I said something about killing my goldfish to Angel when he broke up with me.

“No really. You’re always thinking of others first and way you look after Dawn and everything else, is incredible.”

I smile “I’m just everything on my plate girl. I think that after the baby’s born I’ll stay with Angel. Not that LA the safest place.”

“It’s more safe than Sunnydale.”

“True. But in the meantime, I’m going to travel back and forth, so I can see you all.”

“Won’t that be a bit stressful?” Willow asked worriedly.

“Nothing I can’t I handle,” I joked. 

It’s funny how when you’re waiting for a black car, three out of every five cars are black. I feel the baby kick, as if she knows Cordelia is coming to take us to her Daddy’s. And finally she arrives, I go over to the car, but to my surprise Angel gets out. I look at him, look at the sun and run into his arms. I can feel his new heart beat under his shirt. He holds me tight, he’s so warm, and he’s so alive. “Hey,” he says when I finally pull away.
“Hey,” I reply. “When did this happen?”

“About fifteen minutes ago.” I look at him surprised. “Why else do you think I’d be late.”

We had along talk, seeing Angel wasn’t needed by the PTB we, well he decided he should move down to Sunnydale, so I could be with my friends. “What about Cordy and Wesley?” I ask, I know they’ve become close.

“They can come to,” he told me. 

“Angel, it’s just, you have the right to be with your friends too.”

“Cordelia just landed a role in some B grade movie and Wesley and Virginia are moving to England.”

“You’d already figured this out hadn’t you?” I ask him.   

“Yes, in fact I was so sure you’d say yes, I already told Giles.” Another fine example of how well he knows me. I pounce on him and hold him down “You are very self assured,” I tell him.

“Really,” he says with a grin and turns me over gently but quickly.

“Yep,” I reply before Angel kisses me. He feels so different down, so warm. Now we both have to brake for air. I want him so badly, I can’t get him close enough. He pulls away and starts stroking my stomach, I smile. I can’t help it, everything he does makes me smile. “Lets wait,” he says “It’ll be more special.”

I look at my huge stomach “Yeah, ‘cause it’s not easy with my stomach looking like a beach ball.”

“It doesn’t look like a beachball, it looks like your six months pregnant,” he tells me.

“The difference being?” I asked.

“I like it when you’re pregnant, a lot more than if you were a beachball.”

I laugh and suddenly the baby kicks, Angel puts his head to my stomach and listens. I stroke his hair and thank the PTB for what a wonderful life I’ve got.

Angel totally surprised me, I guess I was kind of expecting it, but not while I was helping him unpack in the Mansion. I pulled out a ring box and couldn’t help myself. I looked inside and saw a gold Claddagh ring. The heart was a ruby and the crown had little diamonds in it. I suddenly feel his arms around by stomach, “Marry me?”

I turn around and look at him “You know what the answer is,” I tell him. “But seeing I’m only ever going to get proposed to once, do it properly, Mr. Eighteenth Century.” 

He smiles at me “I thought I was going to get away with it.”

“Not a chance.”

He gets down on one knee in front of me and takes my hand. He takes the ring out of its case and puts it on my wedding finger he looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and says “Buffy Summers will you marry me?”

I can feel an involuntary tear fall down my face, “Yes.”

I’m surprised I actually got a wedding dress to fit at seven months pregnant. I look in the mirror, the wedding dress is made of white satin. Angel says it’s almost identical to one he saw me in, in a dream. I never thought I’d ever be pregnant or married once I was called. 

Suddenly Cordelia comes up behind me and says with a smile “I know your happy and all, but please don’t cry. I don’t fancy putting on that mascara again.”

“Ready?” Willow asks.

I take a deep breath “Ready.” Dawn walks in front followed by Cordy and Willow. Giles takes my arm and proudly walks me down the aisle. It’s so perfect it’s almost like watching a movie. Angel and I wanted just a small wedding. Apart from Dawn, Willow and Cordy, Wesley is Angel’s best man (two watchers, what happened there?) Gunn, Xander, Anya and Tara are the only guests. We say our vows and kiss, we’ve kissed many times but I’m always going to remember this one. It was so soft and loving and means so much. I don’t believe it, I’m officially Mrs. Liam O’Conner.    

Honeymoon wise, we decided to wait and go for a family holiday. Which is fine with me, the Hellmouth has been behaving itself. Angel’s patrolling for me, which is good, ‘cause I definitely shouldn’t go patrolling now. I’m eight months pregnant, and apart from the occasional backache I’ve had no problems. Angel’s been wonderful looking after me. It can be a bit annoying at times, he can be a bit over protective, but I’m getting used to being looked after. Everyone has been coming over heaps, which is great. I was so worried they would distance themselves from me. Wesley calls and says hi and Cordelia got a break and came down the other day. Xander has kept his whale jokes to a minimum, and Angel and him are actually getting on okay. 

As per usual I couldn’t sleep, so I got up and got myself a glass of water. The baby is kicking a lot, I think I may require some internal reconstruction after she’s born. I get my glass of water and gently climb back into bed not wanting to wake Angel up. Of course he’s awake, “Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I reply giving him a kiss. He smiles and turns of the lights. I lie there for a while and I’m just about to go to sleep, when a sharp pain goes through my stomach. I must of cried out because Angel turns the light on, “Buffy what is it, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I reply meekly “she must have kicked too hard or something.”

Angel doesn’t look to convinced, “Are you sure?”

I nod. Angel turns off the light and puts his arms around me. Then I feel it, my water break. Suddenly I’m scared, I don’t want to give birth now, and I’m not ready. So I say nothing, just lying there in Angel’s protective arms. Until the first contraction hits, my whole body is filled with a sharp pain and I cry out, clutching Angel until it passes. Angel turns on the light and looks at me. 

“Are you gonna drive me?” I ask.

The next few hours were a bit of a blur, something to do with the painful contractions I guess. The one thing I was aware of was Angel, being there, talking to me, and holding my hand. The birth could have been worse. At least I had my slayer strength, and I had Angel. Now I’m lying in Sunnydale General Hospital, with Angel and my friends by my side, and in my arms lies Kathryn Brioney O’Conner, my daughter.