"Cordelia," Angel noticed as he scanned the bar for his friend.  He'd been trying to find her for the past hour and had searched in nearly every pub near her place.  He finally found her in a sports bar.  "Cordelia!" He called to her.  She turned round and glared at him as the barman topped up her shot glass.  "Cordelia, what are you doing?"

"Getting so thrashed I can't stand.  And then hopefully when I do, I'll crack my skull and pass out," she told him before downing another glass.  She motioned for another.

"Cordelia I'm upset too--"

"Yeah, but will you talk about it?  No, you'll just mope, and brood and shut me out.  Well you know what Angel?" Cordelia stood off the bar stool.  "Screw you!"

"Cordy--"

"Did you know?" Cordelia wiped away tears of frustration.

"Know what?" Angel replied softly.

"That he was in love with me?"

"Kind of.  Yes."

Cordelia threw her hands up and nodded.  "Of course you knew.  Of course.  Everyone knows everything before me.  I'm always on catch-up.  Doyle was in love with me.  And i was too stupid to notice until the last second.  I knew he liked me.  Who wouldn't?  But when he kissed me Angel, I felt that he was in love with me.  If I'd been--"

"Cordelia it's not your fault.  It's mine," Angel told her firmly, feeling tears sting his eyes.  "I should of--"

Before he finished, Cordelia slapped him across the face, hard.  He rolled his neck and then looked back at her.

"OK I'm not sure what that was for," Angel said touching his cheek gingerly.  He'd have a red mark there before his vampire healing skills kicked in.

"Me neither," Cordelia admitted confused.  "Sorry. I just.. As hard as it is with Doyle... If it was you.. I don't think I could make it Angel."

Cordelia fell onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around her and in her soft hair.  Cordelia slipped her arms around his waist, hugging him closer, not caring about the rest of the bar.

"Let's go home OK?  We can talk," Angel offered kissing the top of her head.  Cordelia nodded as she put an arm around his neck and he helped her out of her seat again.

"The bar tab.." The bartender started.  Angel dug in his pocket and found some notes which he tossed on the counter.

"That should pay it," he told the man, not turning to face him as he and Cordelia made their way to his car.

"He.. He was so brave," Cordelia whimpered as Angel poured her another scotch and a double for himself.  They were down in his apartment over opposite sides of the coffee table.  "So brave.  And that light.. I mean.. He melted so horribly.. He died.  To save us.  To save all of us there in that stupid ship.  And it's all my fault.  We should have went.  We should have gone.. Stupid scourge!"

"I was once the Scourge of Europe," Angel slurred as he downed his fourth double.  "Oh yeah.  Oh yeah I wiz feared.. By brave men.  Big men.  Armies..  And what were they afraid of?  Me.  They feared me."

"Zee no one's ever feared me," Cordelia pointed out.  "No one.  Z's unfair."

"Oh no Cor.  Everyone fears you.  Even now.  I fear you sometimes.."

"You do?  When?  Huh?"

"High school.  Buffy told me.  And I lurk..  Hallways would clear cuz 'look.. Here comes Cordelia Chase..'  'Watch she doesn't chew your head off.'  Hey, I mean Cordelia.  It's Cordelia Chase!" Angel shouted standing up.  "The best thing to happen to this crappy town.  The most incredible girl ever to be born here.  A legend!" He raised his glass.

"I am a legend!" She decided, standing up across the table raising her glass.  "Goddammit am I Sunnydale's legend!  That's my town!  Screw the stupid Slayer and the Hellmouth, I'm Cordelia Chase!"

"Cordelia Chase!" Angel toasted.

"The nastiest bitch in Sunnydale's history!  The rest of 'em, they're all bugs to me," she announced.  "We're Cordelia Chase and Angelus!  We rule this crappy world between us.  You with the killing and me with the being the goddamn best thing ever!"

Angel brought down his glass.  "I don't wanna be remembered as a bad guy, i wanna be good.  I wanna be the good guy.  Not Angelus.  Not because I killed a bunch of people.. Because I have a Soul.. I-I help save the world or-or something like that.."

Cordelia crawled over the coffee table to him and slipped her arms around his collar.

"Oh Angel, Angel you're good.  You're so very good," she told him quickly.  "You're good Angel," she whispered as she became mesmerized with his lips.  She leaned forward a placed a lingering kiss on them.  "You're good Angel," she murmured.

"I'm good," he decided quietly, before leaning forward and returning her kiss.

"You're so incredible Angel," Cordelia whispered as she tasted his lips again, tasting the scotch and toffee tang to his mouth.  She didn't know how he tasted like toffee since he didn't eat.  "Oh you're so sweet," she sighed into his mouth.  His hands tangled in her hair and pulled her off the table onto the sofa with him.  She slipped her arms round his waist and pulled their bodies closer.

"You're not so bad yourself Cor," he smiled as he kissed her again, meeting her lips halfway.

"God Angel, I love you," she hummed.  "I've loved you since I first saw you.. In the Bronze.. You're so beautiful.. And I could tell.. You wanted to be a good person," she murmured softly, exploring under his shirt.

"Cordelia you know I--"

"Don't.  Don't say anything Angel," she said, rubbing her hands gently on each sides of his head.  "No promises you think you'll keep but never really do.  Just be here. With me.  Don't stop kissing me.  Don't stop touching me," she pleading as they smashed their lips together.  This time everything was more primal.  Cordelia felt the adrenaline rush through her body as Angel pulled her round onto his lap and then laid her back, leaning on the low coffee table.  Her legs were still wrapped around his waist tightly as their drinks spilled onto the flooring, spreading.  Angel leaned over Cordelia on the long table and kissed her passionately.  She pulled him down by his shirt and then popped all the buttons off in one swift ripping motion.  Angel giggled as he looked down and then did the same to her shirt.

Cordelia hungrily kissed and sucked his ear. She moved to his neck, feeling him on top of her, ravishing her as best he could with his alcohol level.

Angel lifted her to his chest and cradled her slightly as they sat up together.  He kicked the table aside and turned back to the sofa.  Cordelia grinned as Angel tried to get comfy while trying to undo her bra.

She took the opportunity to climb out from under him and flip him over.  Now he was lying flat out on the couch and she was on top.  She flicked his leather belt out of his trousers in one motion, tossing it away.

Angel kept his eyes on her, moving so gracefully above him.  She pulled her hair out of the pin holding it and it curled beautifully round her shoulders.  Everything was so fast but happening in slow motion.  Coherent thought like what about the curse? didn't exist because all he knew was there he was.  And here Cordelia was. And the only thing keeping them from pressed flesh to flesh was these damn clothes which were so reluctant to disappear.

He was mesmerized as her lace bra slid away and he caught it between his fingers.  He pulled it to his own bare chest and in an attempt to de-intensify the cracking heat between them, he glanced down at it and wiggled his eyebrows.  "Think it suit me?"

"No," Cordelia breathed, descending on him.  "Blacks more your colour."  Her lips unintentionally smeared some mango flavoured lip gloss on his tongue and he tasted it eagerly.  Cordelia took both of his hands round to her back and down to to top of her skirt.  "Rip it off Angel," she challenged throatily.

He complied, tearing the offending skirt in two, leaving her black underwear.  She quickly undid his zipper as if she had down for hundreds before him.  Cordelia lifted herself up off him for a second and pulled his trousers down and off.  When she glanced back up, she blushed.

"Wow, Cordelia Chase embarrassed," Angel said triumphantly pressing their chests together and kissing her gently.

"You're not wearing any--" she started.

"You shouldn't be either," he giggled.

She faked a sigh and threw them off, obligatory.  "What was that all for?"

"I'll show you," Angel told her sincerely.

"You should know... Angel.. I've never.. I mean it's my first.."

"I know," he nodded, kissing her softly.

Together, they lasted 15 minutes before he pushed her over the edge.  That let her reach her peak explosively.  She collapsed on top of him and breathed heavily, curled her sweaty fingers in his hair as did he, kissing her shoulder.

He closed his eyes slowly as her breathing became more tired and exhausted.  Angel reached up and pulled his sofa throw over both of them.  Cordelia nuzzled his shoulder and neck.

"This was perfect," she breathed out.  "I-I meant what I said Angel.  I've been in love with you since that first time," she whispered a tear forming.

"Ssshh," Angel hushed her, gently collecting the tear with his finger.  He kissed her eyelid.  "You're so amazing Cordelia.  These past months I-I've fallen.. I think.. I mean," he stuttered as she held her breath.  He pulled her closer for a gentle kiss and then moved to her ear.  "I'm in love with you."  She hiccuped in a surprised and happy sob, smiling, furiously brushing away tears.

"Really?"

"Really.  Now hush.. Sleep.  We have a lot to talk about.. Not tonight.  Tonight I want to concentrate on feeling this with you," he murmured into her skin.  Cordelia nodded and settled between his shoulder and head to drift off to sleep.  Angel's eyes drooped and he soon followed.

Cordelia woke first.  It took her a minute to realize what had happened and why she was lying naked on top of her boss with his hand tangled in her hair.

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God," she said in a mantra as she threw off the improvised blanket and untangled herself from Angel.  She yanked his trousers on when she found her skirt halfway across the room in shreds.  She picked up her shirt and realized the buttons were torn off so she took his and slipped it on, knotting it around her waist.

She ran for the phone as Angel stirred in his sleep peacefully.  She dialled Willow and Buffy's dorm room and let it ring before searching for some chains.

"Hello?" A tired voice answered on the other end.

"Buffy!" Cordelia hissed.  "Get Willow!"  Cordelia pulled open Angel's weapons cupboard and threw aside the

"OK," Buffy agreed, confused and handed the phone over.

"Hello?" Willow yawned.

"Willow, it's Cordelia.  Look, you still know the uh, the curse right?" Cordelia asked cradling the phone on her shoulder, checking the point of a knife.  "You still have it.  Right?"

"Yeah.  Why?  Oh God.. Did Angel meet someone and y'know?" Willow gasped and then threw her hand over her mouth off Buffy's look.

"You could say that," Cordelia laughed nervously as she found some manacles.  She rushed over to Angel and wondered how she what she could chain him to.

"Is Angel in trouble?" Buffy yelled in the background.  "Gimme the phone!  Cordelia, what happened?"

"Look Buffy, I can't talk right now.  Just get the curse, bring it to LA and I'll explain everything.." Cordelia lied.

Yeah right.  I don't fancy being ripped apart by the Slayer.

"Cordelia tell me!" Buffy was hysterical.

"Just get your ass here Buffy!" Cordelia roared before hanging up the phone.  She put it on the coffee table and then quickly moved to pull Angel's arm over her shoulder.  She did her best to lift him.  Gently, she tapped his cheek.

"Angel.. Angel you have to move OK?"

As he complied by standing up wearily, his eyes half closed, Cordelia hoped it wasn't Angelus because he was in a prime position to bite her neck.

She helped him over to his bed, kicking his bedroom door open fiercely.  He passed out there and Cordelia had to spread him out by tossing his legs onto the mattress.

Of course it doesn't help that he's totally naked.

She sighed and quickly began chaining him to the bed.

Cordelia sat, watching him intently.  It would be 2 hours before Willow, Buffy and probably Xander looking for an excuse to kill Angel, arrived.  She found some sleeping pills, maybe Doyle's and gave him them quickly.  He hadn't woken up yet.  She bowed her head and fought back the tears.  It was stupid.. She shouldn't have even kissed him.  And she could have lost him forever now.  Especially, since that Buffy freak was on her way.

A few hours later, she heard a scream as Angel's eyes opened.  He gasped and yelled and wept as she could see his Soul being torn from him.  His head was raised far as it could when she had chains strapped across his chest four times and his hands chained extra tightly, and looked at her.

"Cordelia," he whimpered as and flashed gold and he hit the pillow again.  Cordelia steeled herself as Angel opened his eyes again.

"Cordy," the demon grinned at her.  "Wow look at you all upset over nothing.  Untie me and what's say you and I have a little roll about the floor?  Hmm?"

"Yeah, that'll happen," Cordelia scoffed as she picked up the crossbow.

"Hey that's great!" Angel roared morphing into his vampire face.  "Just what I love in a whore!  Do this to all the boys do ya?  Sleep with 'em, tie them to the bed and threaten to kill 'em?  Must be why you were so popular in high school.  Actually I don't have a problem with the bondage part," he sniggered.  "Or maybe that's the reason why Doyle found you such a turn on?  I just don't see it myself."

"That it? That all yo got Angel?  It's pathetic," Cordelia laughed enraging Angelus on the bed.  He gritted his teeth and smirked.

"Well look at me tied on the bed here, completely naked.  And you there.  All dressed up in the Souls clothes."

"Angel ripped mine.  What you want me to dress you now?"

"A towel for my modesty at least.  You're you Cordelia and we're intimate but, I mean, you have called the witch and all..." Angel guessed.

"What if I have?"

"I'll kill her as soon as she walks through the door," he says darkly.

God help me, I'm so attracted him right now.  Maybe it's the naked thing..

"Uh huh.  And how do you plan to do that?  Telekinesis?  Because from where I'm standing you don't have a lot of room for movement.  Bulletin Angel!  You're chained to a bed."

"I bet I could convince you untie these chains and ride me as hard as ya did last night."

"Oh good.  Are we placing money on this little wager?  Because i could use a new pair of shoes."

"When's the Slayer getting here?"

Cordelia felt her heart sink at the mention of Buffy.  "Why?"

"Because all I've had to think about these past coupla' years is bitch slapping her about the mansion and impaling her on a sword.  Are you jealous Cordelia?"

"Oh her?  Oh please."

"You are Cordelia... Even the tiniest bit?"

Cordelia stood up and walked through to the kitchen, bringing back a tea towel.

"Not if you were the last demon on earth," she snarled as she threw the towel over his midriff.

"Aw come on Cordelia.  You know what's there, you know that towels not the right size.."

"You're right it should be bigger to cover that huge ass of yours!  No, wait, that's your face," she shrugged, sitting down and crossing her legs.

"No wait that's your face," Angelus made a face, imitating her in a high voice.  Cordelia blanked him as four people rushed down the stairs and Buffy burst into Angel's bedroom and looked back and forth at Cordelia sitting on the chair in Angel's clothes and Angel on the bed; wearing nothing but a tea towel.

"Buffy!  We were just talking about how much I'd love you kill you.  How have you been?" Angelus asked politely, freaking Buffy out.

"Great.  How's Hell?" Buffy shot back.

"Like a sauna Buff.  Like a sauna.  Well I've had it better than Soulboy what with giving up being human for you and all."

"Say huh?" Buffy blinked.  Cordelia stood up slowly.

"Last I saw you, Angel turned back the day, gave up humanity so you could live.  Gosh he's so noble.  Don't it just bring a tear to your eye?" Angelus grinned.  "Oh that's right, you don't remember.  Oh right.  he never mentioned that whole 24 hours you spent with him a week ago did he?"

"I-I--"

"Wow, the Slayer speechless.  Gotta be a first.  And Cordelia as well..  No ones asked how I got here.  I don't particularly care it's just, well, I love seeing you two gals fight over me," he finished in a western accent.

"Fight?" Buffy asked.  "Why would we fight?  And how did Angel lose his Soul?"

"Wake up and bang, no Soul," Angelus laughed.  "Oh more the other way around.  Why am I naked?  And why was Cordelia here before 10 am?  Why is she wearing my clothes and why does she look so guilty?  Why is her skirt behind you there Giles, torn in two? Hmm.  So many questions.. One answer."

"You," Buffy said quietly to Cordelia, clenching a fist.  "You slept with Angel."

"Who slept?  Phew!" Angelus interrupted.  "Wow!" He roared.  "Much better than you any day Summers."

"You outside," Buffy said in a low voice.  "The rest of you get rid of Scum of the Earth Boy on the bed."

"That's Scourge of Europe to you Slayer," Angelus retorted.  "And I'm not ready to go yet."

"Well lets see you wriggle out of those chains," Cordelia challenged.

"Shut up," Buffy warned in a low voice.

"Don't tell me to shut up!"

"I'll tell you to shut up if I want," Buffy yelled as Angelus mouthed the exact words behind his back.

"Curse him," Buffy said as she gripped Cordelia's arm and yanked her out of the bedroom.

The Slayer kicked the door shut and they were alone in Angel's kitchen.

"What Buffy?  What the Hell could you possibly want?"

"An explanation?"

"You're not entitled to one," Cordelia snorted.  "It's nothing to do with you."

"It's to do with Angel."

"What did you piss all over him?  He doesn't belong to you!"

"I know he can't but if he can't belong to me then--"

"No one else can have him?" Cordelia retorted.  "Well Buffy, Angel's changed.  And you haven't been around.  People change."

"Not Angel.. He can't--"

"Why? Because you love him?  Well get this Buffy, you don't get to be the only one in love with Angel!"

Buffy stepped back like she'd been hit.  "You're in love with Angel?!"

"Is it really so hard to believe?"

"I.. I'm not debating the fact you're in love with him or if he feels anything for you... why did you sleep with him?  How could you?  If you cared for him at all.."

"I can't explain it.  It was so heated and intense--"

"Spare me."

"As if.  But we weren't thinking clearly.  Just y'know.  We needed.. Angel wanted to.  And we couldn't stop.  He told me that he's in lo--"

"No.. NO.  If I don't hear it, it's not true..."

"Yeah guess what?  It is true."

"I hate you so much," Buffy burst into tears.  "And it's not-- It's not even for bringing back that thing in there, or for loving him.. It's him loving you. You.  Cordelia Chase.  He's moved on.  to you."

"Oh get over it."

"What makes you any different from me huh?  Why can't he and I be together but you can!"

"I-"

"And you gave him perfect happiness!  That's not just any old roll in the sack!  It's love!  It's what Angel and I have!"

"Had."

"Don't split hairs!"

"Or that bad hair cut," Cordelia mumbled.  She smiled sadly when she knew that Angel really loved her.  He really meant what he said.  because he was Angelus, Angel loved her.

"I can't believe this," Buffy sobbed quietly.

"Like you haven't moved on.  Angel told me about your beefy college TA he saw you with."

"Riley?" Buffy spat out.  "Riley?  He thought I was interested in Riley Finn romantically?"

They didn't hear Angel's yell as his Soul slammed back into him.

"You're not?"

"How can I think about loving someone else when I'm unshakeably in love with Angel?  He's the only person I'll--"

"Spare me the Byron.  He left you Buffy.  What does that tell you?" Cordelia growled.

"I know he still loves me!  What about what Angelus just said?  He said Angel gave up being human for me to live."

"Oh come on.  That's Standard Angel Operating Procedure. His Knight thing coming back into play.  He'd do that for any of his friends-not just you!"

"I'm not his friend!  Angel and I can never be friends!  We love each other until we die!  That's how it works!" Buffy screamed back at Cordelia.

"What makes you think he wants you anymore?  Maybe he's bored."

"Oh that's cheap."

"So's your perfume.  It's chaffing."

"Again you manage to sink even lower.  One is taking my Soulmate--"

"Pfft!"

"And the other is insulting my $45 dollar perfume."

"Yeah right.  45 cents."

"What's going on?" Angel asked wearily, dressed in sweat pants and a bathrobe.  "Buffy.  Cordelia."

"I-I uh called Willow.  And she brought the sidekicks," Cordelia explained.

"How do you feel?" Both of the women asked.

"Strange.  I remember everything.  I'm sorry for what Angelus said Cor," Angel sat down in the seat beside her.

"It wasn't you Angel.  Don't even think about it anymore," Cordelia said placing a hand over his.

"It wasn't right.  I'm sorry."

"What about me?" Buffy demanded.

"I um, Sorry.  Sorry Buffy," Angel said, caught off guard by her tone and demour.  She didn't change but stood angrier.

"Yeah, and remind me why you had sex with her?"

"Buffy," he said gently, standing up.  Cordelia buried her head in her hands, thinking that this might be Lovers Reconciliation.  She really didn't want to be within a thousand feet if Angel went back to Buffy and chose that whiney brat over her.  "It's between Cordelia and I.  And that's the way it's going to stay," he told her firmly, but softly.  Buffy exhaled loudly and turned around to the fridge.  She walked out of the kitchen area and to the punch bag which she kicked down off it's hanger.

"My God Angel what were you thinking?" She screamed.  "It's Cordelia!"

"I know," Angel sat down and placed his hand in Cordelia, to her relief.  "We're not in each others lives, we're not together.  I'm sorry if it upsets you Buffy--"

"DAMN RIGHT IT DOES!"

"But," Angel said, keeping calm and level headed.  "It is.  Cordelia and I have a lot to talk about.  Some things to--"

"Well, are you going to continue.. Whatever the Hell you're having with a.. Beast like her!  If you are, what about us?  Why can't we be together and you two can?  I love you so much..." Buffy whimpered.

"I know you do.  And I will always be so in love with you," Angel confirmed.  "But.. This is different.  I feel differently about Cordelia.  I don't know what this is between us.  But it's real and it's," he stammered looking at the brunette.  "I want to find out."

"Happy to let you," Cordelia smiled.  Buffy threw her hands in the air.

"What about me?  I mean, every time you fuck Cordelia, you'll call Willow out to curse you again and everything's OK?  Or should we leave it here?"

"Oh get over it Buffy!" Cordelia spat.

"That's it!" She gritted her teeth and went to punch Cordelia.  Angel dove in front of Cordelia and took the blow to his face.  Buffy went to hit out again but he gripped her wrists.  "GET THE HELL OFF ME ANGEL!"

"Maybe you should go," Angel said gently as they stopped struggling.

"I hate you.  Even as Angelus I couldn't hate you," Buffy wept softly.  "Now I can.  Because you feel for her."

"Buffy you said you were heading towards a pretty good life now that I'm out of the picture."

"I am!  And huh?  When did i say that?"

"It doesn't matter.  It's in the past now, Buffy," Angel sighed softly.  "We.. We're in the past."

"We can't be!  I love you so much!" Buffy told him, holding onto his collar.  Angel removed her hands from him and licked his lips nervously.

"Buffy.."

"I'm leaving!" She growled, throwing him backwards and ran up the stairs.  Giles, Xander and Willow emerged from  the bedroom and followed the Slayer, leaving Angel and Cordelia alone together again.

"So that was.. Something," Cordelia commented.

"Yeah it was," Angel said, cupping her face for a kiss.

"I don't think it was exactly a blessing," she grinned, kissing Angel delicately, as if he could break.

"Don't need it," Angel murmured.

"We need to talk Angel," Cordelia told him before he kissed her.

"What about.."

"About why.." Cordelia whispered as he gently smoothed his lips over hers.  "About why Im wearing your clothes..  About what happened last night."

"I mean it," Angel told her.  "I can't lose you Cor.  I'm so sorry about.. Angelus.. But you can't leave me.  Please."

"It wasn't on the agenda.  It takes more than him to send me bubbling like some Slayer who shall remain Angel-less.  Xander probably still--"

"How about this.  We make one rule.  No mentions of ex's. Especially Buffy.  And Xander.  You know that he hates me and I.. I'm not particularly fond of him.  And Buffy.  Well she's never taken a liking to you.."

"How could that possible be when I was after you?" Cordelia sniggered.  "Come on Angel I was so obvious I was transparent.  But you probably didn't notice."

Angel bit his lip and looked back at her.  "Let's not talk about any of the guys you dated in high school."

"Or Darla.  Let's never talk about her."

"What?"

"You know, your Sire."

"Yeah I know.  How'd you know that?"

"When I found out about your fangness, I researched."

"You're incredible," Angel smiled leaning in for a kiss.  "Oh and never talk Wesley either."

"What, Wesley? Oh my God.  You would have cried from laughing if you'd seen our eventual kiss--  But you don't wanna hear about that."

"No," Angel assured her.  "It's only you and I now Cor.  We have to stay together."

"Not making any plans to the contrary for the next.. ever."

"Good," Angel brushed her cheek.

"I have a second rule.."

"What?"

"A few mirrors couldn't hurt.."

Angel nodded and pulled Cordelia off her chair onto his lap.

"Anything."