The following information is provided to us from the Ohio's Department of Human Services. Remember to check for more information in the state that you live in.
Some Points to Remember
~Each case of Child abuse and neglect is individual.
~The child is always the victim.
~Excessive physical discipline is abuse.
It is difficult to define "excessive,"
but there are guidelines you can use. Physical discipline probably is excessive
if:
| ~it results in physical injury, including bruises |
| ~it is consistent, arbitrary punishment designed not to educate, but to instill fear |
| ~The caretaker losses control during discipline |
| ~it is inappropriate to the age of the child |
| ~it is the result of unreasonable expectations or demands on the child by the caretaker. |
~A perpetrator of child abuse or neglect can be any person who has care, custody, or control of the child at the relevant time. This could include parent, teacher, babysitter or day care staff person, relative, institution staff person, bus driver, playground attendant, caretaker, boy/girlfriend, or anyone with whom the child has contact. There also are instances when the parent or regular caretaker can be held responsible for abuse or neglect perpetrated by another; for example, when a parent allows the spouse to physically abuse their child, or when a child is left in inappropriate care and subsequently suffers abuse or neglect.
~There are no simple answers. Abuse or neglect rarely occurs in clear, simple, and specific terms. Abuse or neglect usually results from complex combinations of a range of human and situational factors.
The Abuser
Adults who abuse or neglect children usually will share several of the following general characteristics:
| Isolation |
| Poor Self-Concept |
| Immaturity |
| Lack of Parenting Knowledge |
| Substance Abuse |
| Lack of Interpersonal Skills |
| Unmet Emotional Needs. |
The adult may express these characteristics through different attitudes or actions. Certain adult behaviors and specific types of abuse or neglect.
In the family where physical abuse is occurring, the abusive adult may:
-have unrealistically high standards and expectations for himself/his
children.
-be rigid or compulsive
-be hostile and aggressive
-be
impulsive with poor emotional control
-be authoritative and demanding
-fear
or resent authority
-lack control or fear losing control
-be cruel or
sadistic
-be irrational
-be incapable of child rearing
-trust no one
-believe
in the necessity of harsh physical discipline
-accept violence as a viable
means of problem resolution
-have an undue fear of spoiling the child
-consistently
react to the child with impatience or annoyance
-be overcritical of the
child and seldom discuss the child in positive terms
-lack understanding of
the child's physical and emotional needs
-lack understanding of the child's
developmental capabilities
-be reluctant or unable to explain the child's
injuries or condition or give explanations which are farfetched or inconsistent
with the injury
-over- or underreact to the child's injury
-not consent
to diagnostic studies of the child
-have the child treated by a different
hospital or physician each time the child needs medical attention
-fail to
keep appointments
-perceive himself as alone, without friends or support
-view
seeking or accepting help as a weakness
-be under pressure
-have an
emotionally dependent spouse
-be engaged in a dominant-passive marital
relationship
-have marital problems
-Have been physically abused
himself.
In the family where sexual abuse is occurring, the abusive adult may:
-be overly protective or the child
-refuse to allow the child to
participate in social activities
-be jealous of the child's friends or
activities
-accuse the child of promiscuity
-distrust the child
-have
marital problems
-need to be in control or fear losing control
-be
domineering, rigid, or authoritarian
-favor a "special" child in
the family
-have been sexually abused himself
In the family where emotional maltreatment is occurring, the maltreating adult may:
-act irrationally or appear to be out of touch with reality
-be deeply
depressed
-exhibit extreme mood swings
-constantly belittle the child or
describe the child in terms such as "bad", "different", or "stupid"
-be
cruel or sadistic
-be ambivalent towards the child
-expect behavior that
is inappropriate to the child's age or developmental capabilities
-consistently
shame the child
-threaten the child with withdrawal of love, food, shelter,
or clothing
-consistently threaten the child's health or safety
-reject
the child or discriminate among children in the family
-be involved in
criminal activities
-use bizarre or extreme methods of punishment
-avoid
contact with the child, seldom touching, holding, or caressing him
-avoid
looking or smiling at the child
-be overly strict or rigid
-torture the
child
-physically abuse or neglect the child
-have been abused or
neglected himself.
In the family where neglect is occurring, the neglecting adult may:
-be apathetic
-have a constant craving for excitement and change
-express
dissatisfaction with his life
-express desire to be free of the demands of
the child
-lack interest in the child's activities
-have a low
acceptance of the child's dependency needs
-be generally unskilled as a
parent
-have little planning or organizational skills
-frequently appear
unkempt
-perceive the child as a burden or bother
-be occupied more with
his problems than he is with the child's
-be overcritical of the child and
seldom discuss him in positive terms
-have unrealistic expectations of the
child, expecting or demanding behavior beyond the child's years or ability
-seldom
touch or look at the child
-ignore the child's crying or react with
impatience
-keep the child confined, perhaps in a crib or playpen, for long
periods of time
-be hard to locate
-lack understanding of the child's
physical or emotional needs
-be sad or moody
-fit the clinical
description "passive and dependent"
-lack understanding of the
child's developmental capabilities
-fail to keep appointments and return
telephone calls
-have been neglected himself