Street No.28 |
"FABIO ..... SUPERSTAR"
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Then FOLLOW THESE
FAB YESTERDAY
...AND FAB TODAY!
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PULL FAB's FINGER!!!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.
How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.
What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common?
They both suck when you plug them in!
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else's light.
What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Counterpoint!
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and gently told it he loved it...
What's the best thing to play on a guitar?
Solitaire...
In the 22nd century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old bulbes were.
A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wits's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.
The message said, "Prepare three envelopes..."
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"FAB SUPERSTAR AFFANCLUB"!!