(2002)

review by:

12-19-03

Story by: Matthew Howe, Jeffrey Kollig, J. Christian Ingvordsen Screenplay by: Matthew Howe Directed by: J. Christian Ingvordsen Starring: Debbie Rochon, Jeffrey Howard, Joshua Park, Courtney Henggeler

A group of college students enter a bog to excavate bodies. They soon find that the well-preserved warriors have come back to life, and they've got some ancient, festering chips on their shoulders... Despite the fact we rent them all the time, these types of movies annoy the crap out of me. Not because they're irredeemably bad or leave too much room for poking fun, but because they are "exceptionally mediocre." They are not in the least bit scary, so they fail their mission to be horror movies. The acting is usually terrible, and the dialogue always horrid. The production values range from horrible to not-too-horrible, depending on how many gullible people who don't watch movies fork over cash. On the other hand, though, they are oh-so-fun to ridicule...usually. This alone makes up for the often excruciating experience that is watching these films all the way through. Bog Creatures is another low-budget, plot crippled, not particularly interesting "film" with the occasional good actor (Howard) and one whole intended chuckle. You know from the beginning who will survive, and you can guess pretty much everything that will happen...if you care. The same old thing never looked so same and old. The fun in watching Bog Creatures really comes from the viewers. Mystery Science Theater taught us all that it was ok to make your own experience from crappy movies, pretty much the only way to enjoy a film like this. Unless burly guys in tattered clothes really, really scare you. This film is a lot of fun to ridicule, and therefore results in an alright viewing experience. It produced some genuine laughs during the panties scene and any other part with Dr. Fenemen, not to mention the always amusing (in a good way) Debbie Rochon (Bleed, Final Examination), but the rest of the movie is more soulless, lukewarm...stuff. I don't intend to be too hard on this movie. It has its moments, but Bog Creatures rides the fine line between intentionally campy chuckle-fest and really bad horror flick, and when the end credits roll, the latter seems the most likely. No matter what it's trying to be, this film is another make-your-own-entertainment flick. Rent at your own risk, but be sure to bring plenty of caffeine if you do...

AKA: Army of Dorkness

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