Vertical Disparity's Captain,

Andy Harris

Andy & his better half, Carolyn

Born in a prison for political refugees, Andy, whose Indian name is "Dances With Otters", grew up thinking tequila really is mother's milk. He may be the most mature person on the team, and that, in itself, could be debated, but he's by far not the oldest on the team. We haven't quite figured out how he can have a son that's older than him, and he repeatedly denies any biological connection to Frank, but with Frank insisting on a DNA test, we're just going to sit back and let someone else figure this one out.

Sorry, girls, he's married, and to the sweetest little lawyer in the west. So, don't try anything. She fights dirty. And when Carolyn Harris isn't wielding her sword in the courtroom arena, she can be found pampering the team with beverages and snacks (a clever disguise for her own needs!)

We caught up with Andy recently, but only after he got hung up by the T-shirt climbing over a chain-link fence, and he granted us an interview (in hopes we'd help him down). Here are some VERY revealing facts about the original Cap'n Crunch we'd like to share:

• Q: How many jumps ya got now, Andy?

• A: Oh, about 3110 intentional skydives. But if you count reserve rides on top of that, I guess the total would be about 4500. Then there's freefall time... I got a separate logbook just for my reserve rides. Hell, I'm even D-qualified on reserve rides alone!!

• Q: What's so great about doing 8-way??

  A: It requires more sophistication than other types of skydiving. And you know me! I'm the pillar of sophistication!

  Q: Why would anybody want to compete?!

  A: Because it's the best yardstick for measuring improvement ever invented. Ever ask a women what 6 inches is?

  Q: What's your favorite block, Andy?

  A: Well, Opal/opal/opal, of course!

  Q: Wow! What a coincidence! I think that's Janet's favorite block, too! So, what was your most memorable skydive?

  A: A 12 point four-way dive with the son of a long-time skydiver friend. I was awesome, by the way!

  Q: I think I was on that dive, too. And I think I was pretty awesome myself, if I remember correctly. So, hey, when your mind wanders, do you ever think of profound thoughts on skydiving???

  A: You could say anything. Everything about the sport is profound. Note: Frank can't spell 'profound' correctly (see 'profund'); probably because he's much older than me!

  Q: Well, that's a profundity right there! Thanks for the interview, Cap'n. Now, let's see if we can get you down... OOPS! Oh, jeez! You OK, Andy? Oh, wow, man, look at your shirt! Hey, you can still wear it! We'll just figure out a way to make that hole work for you. Yeah! That's it! As your stylist, let me tell you, that's a look that really DOES work for you! You could even end up being a real trend setter here. Andy? Andy??! Can you hear me??

E-mail Andy with your questions!

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