PolarPage - Bears!

All about Bears!

This page is dedicated to all bears around the world.

If you know where I can get the new Stanfield's ad with the mother and baby polar bears in underwear, let me know!!

"The right to arm bears shall not be infringed."

Click here to send someone a virtual polar bear hug!!

GAP Bears
The Latest Looks in Ursine Fashion

Photo Gallery (just the bear necessities)

The bears are really excited to see you! Please have patience... the thumbnails might take a while to load up. But while you're waiting, enjoy the music and read the polar bear jokes (there are three now). Click on the thumbnail to view the full-size picture.

NOTE: If you click on a picture and nothing happens, it means that the full-size picture is temporarily offline to make room for other pictures. I have replaced some of the offline photos again, so most of the pics should be available.

	Polar bear in red underwear (bigger version)!! (115 k)
	Polar bear encounters Gund bear (100k)
	Mother and baby Alaskan grizzly bear. (272 k)
	Close-up head shot of polar bear (287 k)
	Polar bear having a nap (260 k)
	Extreme close-up of polar bear (152 k)
	Loch Ness polar bear (52.6 k)
	Small picture of a grizz (44.5 k)
	Polar bear buddies (42.1 k) (copyright Corel Corp.)
	Polar bear yawn! (42.5 k) (copyright Corel Corp.)
	Laid back polar bear! (136 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Come on in, the water's fine! (337 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Grizz cubs and mom (207 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Adorable grizz cubs! (207 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Adorable polar bear cubs! (216 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Hallooo! Any seals in there? (280 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	The coolest polar bear pic! (416 k!!) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Polar bear chillin'... (24.0 k) (Submitted by Jen and Chris!)
	Hmm... how do we open this thing up? (215 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Do polar bears smile? This one looks like he really loves the snow! (277 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Catching some rays... (161 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Polar bear cub and mom (24.0 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Cute polar bear cub (30.5 k) (submitted by Jamie, Jen and Chris!)
	Catching some rays... (253 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Front view of the majestic polar bear (365 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Polar bear walking across the Arctic snow (136 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)
	Two bears play-wrestling (316 k) (Scanned by me! If you use this image, please provide credit and a link to this page!)

The grizzly bears were supposed to move but they kind of like it here so I have no idea when they're going to the Yosemite Gorge. We'll let you know...

Click HERE to adopt your very own polar bear!

The Bear Facts

Read my report on polar bears (cool facts about cool creatures!)

Read my report on grizzly bears (yes, I WILL complete this at some point!)

Polar Bear Joke (grin and bear it)

A mama polar bear is out in the stream fishing, while her son is playing on the bank. After awhile, the baby polar bear comes over to his mother and says, "Mom, what kind of bear am I?," to which she replies, "You're a polar bear, son."

"Okay," he says and returns to the bank to play. In a little while he comes back over and says, "Mom, what kind of bear am I?" "Why, you're a polar bear, son." "Hmmm...," say the baby, "okay." And off he goes to play.

A little more time goes by and the baby polar bear comes back and says, "Mom, are you sure I'm a polar bear?" "Yes, dear," the mama polar bear replies, "I'm sure you're a polar bear. Why don't you believe me?"

"'Cause I'm cold!" exclaims the baby bear.

Camping Alert

In case anyone is considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement:

In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears.

Tourists are also cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears.

One can tell a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it.

Bear Vs Man

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge bear. The bear was annoyed that someone was taking pot-shots at his family. In his fear, the hunter tried to shoot the bear (what a silly thing to do), but all attempts were unsuccessful. Finally, the hunter turned and ran as fast as he could.

The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"

The sky darkened and there was a great flash of lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."

The Campers

Sam and Dave are camping in the wilderness. Sam turns and notices a bear about a mile behind them. They decide to pick up the pace a bit.

However,it soon becomes apparent that the bear is following them, in fact the bear has broken into a run.

Sam quickly removes his backpack and rummages through it. Astonished, Dave asks what he's doing. Sam replies that he is going to remove his hiking boots and put on running shoes.

"Are you crazy? You'll never out run a bear just by wearing running shoes!" says Dave.

Sam replies," I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

Brownie Recipe

Remove teddy bear from oven. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Melt 1 cup butter in saucepan.

Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr. "no, no". Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards. Add 1/3 cup cocoa.

Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe the cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cats' tail.

Add 4 eggs, 2 tsps. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.

Take phone away from Billy and assure party on the line that the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct call removed from bill.

Add 1 tsp. salt and 1/2 cup nuts. Mix all ingredients well. Let the cat out of the refrigerator. Pour mixture into well-greased 9X13-inch pan. Bake for 25 minutes.

Rescue the cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to the kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw the cat outside while there's still time and she's still able to run away.

FROSTING:

Mix the following ingredients in saucepan:

1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine
Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% oven and throw it away...far away!

Answer the door and meekly explain to nice officer that you didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house and heading for the street. Put Jr. in playpen.

Add 1/3 cup milk and dash of salt.
Boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.

Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.

Tie Billy to clothesline. Remove burned brownies from oven.

Enjoy!

Polar Bear Freeze(non-alcoholic drink recipe!)

Here's a recipe for a great drink that I invented... I call it the polar bear freeze!

Ingredients:

Tall glass
Vanilla ice cream
Chilled orange juice
Chilled cranberry or cran-raspberry juice

Fill up to 1/4 of the glass with orange juice and add a splash of cranberry juice. Then pack in as much vanilla ice cream as will fit into the glass without over flowing. Take a strong spoon and stir the ice cream and juice around until it is smooth... kind of like a really thick milkshake. You may have to experiment to get the ice cream/juice mixture right, but if you do it like I do, the spoon will basically stand up by itself in the mixture.

If the mix isn't quite thick enough, drink a bit, then add more ice cream. Yum!

Polar Bear Jump Rope Rhymes!

These are some rhymes that the polar bears invented after visiting a couple of homepages with jump rope rhymes. You know, every time the bears see a jump rope rhyme they have to try it out!! Have you any idea how much racket comes from a room full of polar bears jumping rope?!? Anyway, here they are:

Rhyme #1

Polar bear, polar bear, where did you go?
I went to play in the white, white snow.
Polar bear, polar bear, what did you see?
I saw some whales playing in the sea.
How many whales were there?
One, two, three, four, five...

Rhyme #2

One little polar bear sitting on the floor,
Knock, knock, knock, there's someone at the door.
In comes another polar bear cub,
Now there's two bears sitting on the rug.

Two little polar bears sitting on the floor,
Knock, knock, knock, there's someone at the door.
In comes another polar bear cub,
Now there's three bears sitting on the rug.

Three little polar bears sitting on the floor,
Knock, knock, knock, there's someone at the door.
In comes another polar bear cub,
Now there's four bears sitting on the rug.

Four little polar bears sitting on the floor,
Knock, knock, knock, there's someone at the door.
In comes another polar bear cub,
Now there's five bears sitting on the rug.

Five little polar bears sitting on the floor,
Knock, knock, knock, here comes some more!
What are these polar bears doing all the while?
They are making a PolarPile!

How many bears are there?
One, two, three, four, five...