He Says: I realized how parents can look at their baby for hours in amazement. It’s a big responsibility. Definitely, a career of fatherhood will be life-long. You can only be as ready as you can be.

She Says: We initially planned to wait for 1 year after marriage before we start conceiving for a baby – as with the usual masterplan of most newlyweds. However, 3 months after the wedding, we would feel and hear “pressures” from our relatives/friends. Finally, we rationalized that we’ll let things take its natural course. Although there will definitely be certain things on lifestyle that will change, but one thought from the elders which struck me was – not all things in life comes according to how you plan them to be. At one point in time, we may both be ready for a baby but then we may or may not have it when we want it. The elders say that perhaps we should go and have at least one first and space out the timing if we want it one after the other – sounds like a good plan actually. Life is about making choices and accepting certain compromises along with the choice that was made. From then on, the path is a different one from the original but it’s up to you how you make the best out of it. Patrick and I enjoyed each other’s companionship after marriage extremely well and thought that having a baby should make it even better.

He Says: The nine months was a breeze. Quennie didn’t give me a hard time with cravings or flaring tempers. She probably debunked all the myths that people associate with pregnancy. I enjoyed it when I started to feel the kicks at the end of second trimester.

She Says: I am very thankful for being blessed with a relatively smooth pregnancy. In fact, there are lots of “myths” that was busted.
Myth: If I start off with heavy morning sickness, darkening of the neck, skin outbreak, etc.. – net, if I become uglier than before or if the Doppler device yields slower heartbeat then I am probably conceiving a “boy” – vice versa for a “girl”.
Fact: My OB said there’s no scientific basis for all these – you are only sure when the ultrasound confirms the gender (though this is sometimes not accurate too). Anyhow, I busted the myths, because I didn’t experience those symptoms which is why I also considered myself extremely lucky that my hormones actually behaved differently. Anyway, I know there are many others who have strong preferences on baby’s gender. Undeniably, deep inside - we do have preferences also although we are in denial on the outside ? It’s our form of taming the expectation from within and from outside. It helps to think that – for the first baby – the pressure is off on which gender you get. The balancing factor only becomes more critical at the 2nd baby – it’s a “problem postponement” tactic. AND really, it’s if your baby, you’ll LOVE him/her no matter what.

He Says: After giving birth, you think you’re done but in fact the real challenge is just starting. I am looking forward to learning how to be a great parent.

She Says: We are both excited at the same time, nervous. I am not really the type who “mothers” other friends’ babies when I see them as I am unsure of how to hold, carry, handle them. Patrick is even better at carrying the baby due to his previous experience with 6 nephews and nieces. Now that we have our own baby, I do look forward to managing our own bundle of joy and learn the ropes together with Patrick on how to become good parents in the same way our parents have showed themselves as examples.

He Says: I realized how mentally strong my wife is. It’s a true test of trust in each other in this important moment. It is great – to be with Quennie all through out labor and during the delivery. Since we did natural birthing, very few fathers in the country(at least not common practice here) have the opportunity to be part of the labor process and be beside their wife during this moment.

She Says: This is a test of mental and physical endurance. Mental Power alone is not enough especially if physically, one can no longer handle it. Know the techniques and learn to apply them. The husband plays a very important role – Patrick really did his homework for LAMAZE! I almost gave up at 8cm (those who took LAMAZE classes would know what this means). The pain was always there as I was lying down because the baby’s head is engaged/lowered down already. I can no longer distinguish the period where I have contractions and when there was none. In fact, I asked if an epidural was still possible -- then, we tried a “sitting position” this relieved me of the constant pain and allowed me to get it to 10cm. This is the ultimate part… the key thing here is that one should reserve some energy for the “final push”. When the baby’s out, it’s weird but there’s a sudden spurt of energy for the mom when you see your baby resting on your chest, then this wanes out gradually as one catches up on to the much needed rest. Will I go through LAMAZE again if I am having my 2nd child? Haven’t really thought about it, but one key thought which kept me going is that with LAMAZE, they say I will be able to shorten the time my baby will take to come out by 30 minutes, this is also a good developmental exercise for the baby. Maybe the mother instinct in me is kicking in, when I thought about this – I said, “okay, let’s go for it!”

1. One of the best feelings during the pregnancy term is when I feel the baby inside me moving and kicking. Patrick was also most excited at this.
2. Pregnancy is relatively fun is even the husband is involved e.g. attending birthing or baby class together, doing shopping together, etc..
3. Hand-Me Down items are perfectly fine. In fact, start with these as you'll realize the amount of savings you get from it.
4. The wait for THE DAY is sometimes long especially when the baby went past the expected date and you've taken your ML. I'd done all sort of things from cleanup to learning Photoshop during this one week wait and finally came the contractions. But when that day finally came, it's mixed with excitement at the same time, the uneasiness of whether I'd be able to go through with the whole process.
5. Motherhood is indeed a full-time job. Though the post-partum depression hasn't kicked in yet but I can imagine and now understand why this happens especially for first-time moms.
6. Post-Pregnancy stretch-marks are necessary evil so they say. Avoid scratching on the tummy even when itchy.. save on special creams by just using your whole stack of existing creams and consume them this time. BTW, if there's one investment on creams that you want to do - I suggest Olay Total Effects. It really work wonders on the face.