We finshed cleaning the office day today (yesterday I moved my "office": and I have mixed feelings about my new setup...probably just take time to get used to the new setup i guess.) Anyway today I inherited three...count 'em THREE old fashioned typewriters. The kind with the really steeped keyboard, long arms, actual *fabric* ribbons, and a MANUAL carriage return!! 

I mean...in practical terms, they're rather worthless...but the writer in me just fell in love! But then..three? Wouldn't ONE be enough?

Despite my prayers on first discovering the machines...no interrobang...

but i got one from real life...

I was thinking. I pieced together a few thoughts and realized something...I'm obsessive (prossibly compulsive?) with an addictive personality.

Think about it...when i drink it's usually to excess. When I order a pizza, i just about gorge myself. When I belabor my lack of a lovelife...i carry this recurring theme for years about "real love", sex, et. all. When I do anything...no matter HOW short lived...I do it to the extreme. I wasn't content to just join the army...I had to be airborne. I wasn't happy to just rent my scuba gear, I had to buy it...all. I can't see just ONE pearl jam show...last tour I saw 12. I can't be happy with just core sound stealth mics, I have to spend thousands of dollars to run schoeps. I can't ever half ass anything...during PT I am always on that pain threshold borderline. Whenever I get something new, I just *devour* it.

I just got season four of Sex and the City yesterday. (thank you karmina!!! ) Tonight I got a pizza, have had a lot to drink and nearly entire said large pizza while doing a satc marathon...and i will probably see all 18 episodes..9 hours, by the end of the weekend.

Whenever I have had money...I've spent it...all. Whenever I've had vacation time...I've taken it...all

When I was college I started smoking. Now when I give in to cravings, I chain smoke half a pack all at once. 

I have never been content to settle for/with anything--always moving up and moving out.

Which of course leads me to wonder how long I'll be able to stay in california. Long enough to finish school no doubt...but beyond that? Am I going to get bit by the wanderlust bug again? The obsessive, addictive I now realize I am? Am I going to be torn between the life I want to have and the life I need to have?

Only the future will tell.

And then again, is this all just normal? 

current mood:  worried
current music: Sex and the City (season 4) 
 

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