To verviness: I'm sorry. i don't mind that you added me...you just have really bad timing...

which leads me to a blanket statement to the rest of you because i just can't handle more by names stuff:

I simply don't think I can continue this journal for a while. I think, for the first time in a long while, I need to do some thinking outside of this diary and all by myself...free from any emotional attachment, desire, or audience.

I don't know how long this sabbatical will last. The last sabbatical I went on began on october 7th, 1998...and it's still not over. While I can't imagine staying sane away from here that long, be prepared for it to be at least a few weeks or even months. 

The biggest hump will be getting through the present. Right now I just want to be medicated and turned off. I'll be going through this come home and start drinking phase for a bit. Hopefully, sooner, rather than later, I'll progress into some further antithesis, followed by thesis, and then finally synthesis. 

I was planning to go through this all next year, out on the trail, when I'd already planned to disconnect...

but "life has a funny way of happening when you make other plans", right?

I'll still be reading my friends list, and I'll still IM...but i think that'll be about it.

Where in the past I could only stay away a few days...this time it's like niccotine. I need to make a clean break or I'll just continue to hurt myself.

so peace, love, and ... good things.
 

Tori Amos

crazy
---
not sayin' not charmed at all
not sayin' that you weren't worth the fall
and i was alone when i knew it was real
down the canyon when i knew i had come
to the light through the dawn to the light
to the town when you said you could drive all night
drive all night

(chorus)
so i let crazy take a spin
and i let crazy settle in
kicked off my shoes
shut reason out
he said "first let's just unzip your religion down"

found that I 
i craved it all
saw me melt into your native shelter
where you carved my name
paper tigers scaled me
and came alive
through the dawn
to the light
to the turn when you said you could drive all night
drive all night

(chorus)
so i let crazy pull me in
and i let crazy take his spin
kicked off my shoes
shut reason out
he said "first let's just unzip your religion down"

heard that you were once temptation's girl

and as soon as you have rearranged the mess in your head
he will show up looking sane
perfectly sane
if i know crazy 

current mood: detached
current music: Tori, SW sampler  

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