| Saturday, September 7th, 2002
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9:37p Sometimes, it's hard being a friend... like when you find out the night before that you need to give someone a ride to the airport at 0600...on your day off. Le Sigh. So much for getting totally snocked to celebrate the fact that I am ONE MONTH out from my original ETS date (I had to extend seven months to come to paradise). OK...end pathetic attempt to draw sympathy. This "favor" will actually be beneficial. It will get me out of bed early enough to go see the botanical gardens...something I've been meaning to do, but never seem to get out of bed early enough (on days I'm not diving). Today was pretty decent. Chatted about The Girl with Dan. He gave me some advice... I'm going stateside next month to see her. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I really don't want to fuck this up. Given my penchant, patented habit of doing just that, really early on...I'll need all the help I can get. or perhaps worse yet...find out my mind's been writing this check that reality can't cash. Lost power again today, in the middle of my chat with Dan. Decided to take the hint and go for a "walk". The "experts" (civilian ones, mind you) say you should carry no more than 1/3 of your bodyweight. Uh...yeah. I wish I could keep it that low. Have I mentioned yet how heavy food and water is? Especially seeing as how the first few days I'll prolly require 2 fucking gallons per day. 2 fucking gallons of water is 16 pounds alone. Throw ten days of food in there and that's 36 pounds plus my base weight of pack, tent, sleeping bag/pad, etc., etc. that I'll be humping the first few days. That's why I train with 2/5 of my bodweight instead...just in case you
all were wondering.
Now: a little note about this journal. Right now everything I have worth saying...I'm saying them to the person I most care to hear. I don't feel up to regurgitating it all here, nor do I even find it appropriate. (funny, I've been using that verb a lot lately). So in a way I've started journaling again, and, in a way, I'm still on hiatus. Will this last long? I don't know. Will I ever have thoughts outside this little circle of two again? I'm sure of it. Now is the time to focus on though. current mood: tired
"I KNOW you realized this when you were all in the fourth grade. I'm slooower that most" Henry Rollins. Just a month ago I said I didn't even WANT to be in love. My God! if I had known that THAT was all I needed to say, all these fucking years... current mood: still tired
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