not clouded by the past. not tormented by what was or won't be in the future. not depressed about things I can't change...

not really even depressed at all.

wow. there. i said it. I'm not depressed. i haven't been depressed for many many hours. 

i think I've recovered those two steps back caused by the dreams.

this morning I had a cup of coffee and a BIG ol' pancake. it was wuuuuuunderful. 

I bought a six pack of beer last week...and it took me several days to finish, even over a weekend...and I don't care that i don't have any more in the fridge.

the other day a co-worker asked me how it felt to be a non-smoker (again)...and it feels great!

yesterday I got two great books from Amazon.com (_Crossroads of Twilight_ (book ten of a series) by Robert Jordan, and _A Game of Thrones_ by George R. Martin). Add the fact that I'm still reading McCaffrey, and I've got about 1800 pages of WONDERFUL fantasy to read. 

So things are picking up for me...

although...

it was hinted to me today (again) that good ol' uncle sam might fuck with my plans to go home. granted...such rumors have been floating for months now...but i dunno...for some reason today it kind of seemed a bit more real. 

but it's OK. I'll deal with it. Right now I'm just glad to be myself...

this morning I did about 50 minutes on the stairclimber and when i walked out of the gym...there was the ocean gently rolling and breaking over the reef, there were a few birds singing, the sun had come up over the horizon...and the world was just...still. peaceful, at ease with itself. I stood there for several minutes just enjoying the world...just enjoying the serenity of true beauty. 

current mood:  happy
current music: Crash Test Dummies _God Shuffled his Feet_  

taliana 
2003-01-30 09:55 
Sounds beautiful. I *love* the ocean. Guess the man made lake will have to do for me for awhile. :)

Here's hoping you won't have to stay. 

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