Note:previos/next link is mow moved permantly to the *bottom* of the file--realizing entires like yesterday (all 16 pages) make it a pain to scroll back to the top to progress backwards or forwards...

Today (rather just minutes ago) I had only one cigarette--and that a bum from Mr. Greg Gnauck--primo qual smoke, American Spirit--the kind I can only seem to find up here and not in the bay area--i guess I don't look hard enough down there...

Anyway, quite a blissfull experience it was, and I immediately wanted another--but *no* no more today. 1) trying to save money now and smokes add up, especially chainsmoked as I've been wont to do lately 2)it'll kill me 3) i've gotten really used to enjoying it too much 4)I've literally got tiny shakes in the nervous system...craving for another--*bad* sign

I picked up about ten job application today...ranging from lab tech aid to McDonalds...i.e. a few gas stations, an office asst job, pizza hut, a record store, a bookstore, denny's--most of which actually *are* hiring right now...those apps go out first, then the ones "we may be hiring later" apps go out. Drove around for about four hours doing that. ow exciting...I stopped at Greg's house to say hi and stayed for a while watching them play Civilization II--truly a marvelous and intricate little war type game...I felt bad about sittin around just watching them play (mainly--did talk a bit) but, as I sat down "it's better than TV at least" at least I could see thought and human action--not sit around alone trying to piece it together through actors/sitcoms/etc. Besides, I had to ask Greg if it was OK that I was using him as a reference for all these job apps--really looks bad when a prospective employer calls your ref's and they had no idea they were listed as such...assuming the employer calls--who the hell knows which ones really do (althought Northcoast Labs, which, btw made an exception on the "felony section"..."Aside from the crime of possession of less than an ounce of marijuana for personal use..."Heh that made me chuckle. Guess they're rather loose ppl there at that lab...) they have a homemade app that says "a full background investigation will be completed...anyway, that's the job I want to get most. They said they'd already hired for the position though--but that they were probably going to hire someone else too...fingers crossed...they said they were looking for somone with some science background--which I *do* have...And of course I'm always thinking that having Humboldt State University and computer programming listed on my resume is a little nice note in my favor...

I gotta find some piece of paper stashed somewhere that has my high school street address on it...sure I've got something somewhere--maybe have to look through my "momento box"...

Damn that smoke made me twitchy. I need to get a beer and calm down...brb...aaaahhhhh thaz good. Pete's wicked honey wheat, courtesy of santy claz. On the subject of drinks--some sales people peddled a free "energy drink" off on me today as I was driving away from one of the gas stations in Eureka...some weird tin can enclosed fluid I'd never heard of...probably tastes like crap, but hey, it was free, and the lady seemed nice enough that gave it to me. I put it in the frig--in one of the empty six pack dividers...

Studies have shown that niccoteine (or cigareetes (bad sp on purpose...supposed to be cig ah reats) in general, not sure which, probably the former) *do* cause chemical reactions--feelings of mild "euphoria" is too strong a word but all I can come up with right now...mild satisfaction is better...in the same article, damn i need to find where it was, prolly a newspaper from back at mom and dads-gone to recyling by now...it had a few other little tidbits about those studies...nonsense discussion of niccoteine being addictive/ntoo being addictive...very weird, points I didn't think mattered about a "craving".

Yesterday I made a few references to acid. Well, just for the record and since ppl I know are reading this--I have never tried acid, nor meth, nor coke, heroine, K, etc...just marijuana and alcohol (obviously, I'm drinking a beer right now)...i think other forms of illegal/narcotic drugs are just plain assinine. and that's a word I should look up to make sure I am spelling right since I have a crap spellchecker that takes minutes, literally, for each word and has to make thirty passes to check the entire doc...but my great new dicitionary (and several semesters worth of books) is now being used in a futile attempt to "unwarp" my Pearl Jam/REM combined vinyl xmas fan club single...the club already told me they'd send me a new one--but I really can't wait...Pearl Jam released the new cd single yesterday too. I need to go out and buy it--it's only like $3.00 is the report on varioud PJ lists--of course, up here in Arcata, even with three record stores within walking distance! it it will probably be $5.00--hey, I don't buy two packs of cigarettes, and that's enough money right there! It's got one song I've never heard b4--called "leatherman" very similar to "Whales" on the Yield Demo tape I have...sounds promising!

I need to clone a three hour DAT and it's already 11PM. I don't feel like staying up till 2AM and I really like the show Im listenign to now--fuck marcus, he'll have to wait another day.

And I posted my story about the Cure show back in 96 to the neil young list today--hoping someone else DATted it cuz I really want a copy. If you don't care, skip down a paragraph...i went to see cure play Cal Expo Amp. in Sacramento, CA on Aug 6 1996. It was kinda a b day present to myself, the day after my 21st bday...well, 1st off I miss the freeway interchangeI need and get a flat--I fix the flat and get to the show, finally...go to the bathroom, set up my recording gear..then get a couple of beers. Well, I get a bit tipsy and about 20min into the show, I get bladder trouble...i try to hold it, cuz I really dont want to go to the broom adnd fuck up my tape--I'm going on my credo that *no-one* else is taping this show...safest assumption to make, luckily It's been disproven at times since my tape has sounded like shit on occasion...anyway, I really, really cannot hold it. and I'm fucked...what do I do? Well, risking getting seen, by secureety (another purposeful mispelling see qer e tee), who will, maybe notice I'm taping and throw me out, or by fans--the men around there, were, as a whole, wearing more make-up per capita than anywhere I've ever seen-even in SF, Polk street (yes, "that" part) late at night, think I'm making a statement about the music they *love* and then kicking my ass for it...well, I end up doing it anyway, taking my penus out of my pants right then and there, and, being a sdiscrete as humanly fucking possible--and you men *know* how hard that is when you've *really* fucking gotta go...letting it out slow and easy...*hurts* shit women probably know too. why am I being gender exclusive here? just because men are sterotypically more apt to "hold it"? how would I know? Thank god, *no-one* sees, or, at least, says or does anything...so I zip up, relieved to the fucking *max* ( i was getting to the point where it hurt so much I couldnt even enjoy the music--which *was* i was surprised, *really* good--great performers they were) and enjoy the show, time the tape flips perfectly, get great fucking sound, almost *zero* crowd noise, clean bass, high end, etc..the shows end at about an hour and a half, maybe a little over, I'm fuzzy there...and I walk back to the car, pull out my headphones, and...here's the punchline...the recorder had been inadvertatnly switched to AM radio the whole time--it had been impossible to tell since I hadn't a flashlight and didn't want to be conspicious anyway by using one...i got fucking *static* that whole damn time! SO I posted that story to the list, and grovel for a tape--hopefully ppl laugh and even better, I get a trade out of it...

still, I enjoyed the show immensely, and that's what matters the most, anyway!