Ned's Atomic Dustbin God Fodder
06.24.98
9:55PM
Christa came over to visit today. Such a good time, and I was so glad to see a familiar face again...one I haven't seen in several weeks. We talked about my joing the army and she was very accepting of my decision...concerned that I might get hurt but understanding that it was my choice and supportive of that right to choose...We also talked about Chris and Rebecca...I found myself telling her abou yesterday...although I left some details out--but I hadn't planned on telling anyone anything...I never mentioned my recent ultra-boredom...I didn't need to, it's passing I think...come and goes, you know? I had such a happy time today with another person, a friend..."admission melts depression's welts" gv
She swapped my story of chris and becca for her story of alecia and jeff...why does it seem bad things always happen to your friends? and worse yet that there is nothin you can do to stop it, prevent it, or soothe the pain of it?
We shared a shrimp and crab louie at the Riverview Lodge...that resteraunt that remains an Antioch and my live's fixture...so many memories of that resteraunt...When grandma visited from Australia, we ate there. We've eaten there as a whole family numerous times...I took dad to lunch there on a whim once not too long ago...little things like that and the movies last monday--things to give back a little when they've given me so much...trinkets compared to the love and devotion they've given over the years...but *something*...what I *can* give.
So Christa and I hung out at my parents house for a few hours, played with the cat, dipped our feet in the spa a bit, we went out for ice cream then had dinner with my parents, a Papa Murphy take 'n' bake chicago style pizza...felt a little odd introducing Christa to my parents. I haven't introduced anyone to my parents for years...but they did nothing adverse...as if there was something so terrible they could have done, I don't know...but I still felt a little tense about the meeting...Dad knows Christa and I almost became more than just friends...at least in my hopes at one time...so I can only wonder what his thoughts were compared to my mothers...
She told me about Ryan, the "boy" she met at her elementary
school reunion...a friend of her brothers in fact--who now lives in la
la land and is seeking a job as a recent college grad...and she told me
how bad she felt to be falling for a boy and letting it take her even when
she pushed away me and the man before me...but I wasn't put off by it.
I'm over my 'thing' I guess and am happy just to have her as a friend...i
think it was all i ever really needed from her and just didn't know how
to instigate it other than asking her out on a date in a boy meets girl
sort of way...
But I told Christa I thought it was good for her, that
I was happy for her (at least, I thought I said I was happy...maybe I didn't
but opefully she got that vibe...maybe I should say it outright Tuesday
when we go to the pumpkins show...btw she hadn't found out the tickets
were front row so she was hyperventilating about that just about...I played
the SP bridge school sets from 97 I got from Ed for her to listen. Went
to the library with her and checked email and ordered some 90meter dats
from cassete house...on two day express to make sure I get them in time
for the show...Wasn't there for long as I didn't want to waste the time
we had to hang out...scheduled 4PM tommorrow on the main internet computer
so I can write a journal entry...should be a lot to write about since the
physical is tommorrow, or maybe won't be such a lot to write about...only
time will tell, but for now, I'm going to try to fall asleep already as
I need to get up by 4AM tommorrow as Sgt. Larsen will be here at 4:30AM
to pick me up...