French Fries are very versatile, indeed. You don't get to almost every country in the world in less than five decades without being extraordinary, and French Fries are certainly extraordinary.

1.    You can use them to fill small cracks and keep out drafts.

2.    You can play "Pick-up-Sticks" with them.

3.    For an extra Pick-Up-French-Fries challenge, salt them first.

4.    You can take the little ones and lay them out in a row, with each one parallel to the other and
       perpendicular to the direction of the line they form. Then you can take the long ones and lay
       them on top of the short ones in two parallel rows perpendicular to the first row and you'll have
       a French Fry Railroad!

5.    If you don't have many long ones, you can still make a French Fry Monorail!

6.    Waffle-cut and round-cut fries skip well, when thrown correctly, over bodies of water when no
       flat stones can be found.

7.    Bait. Fish like French Fries, too.

8.    Fodder. With some 40% of the world's potatoes used as animal feed, why not give all those
       burgers-to-be a treat and make some French Fries for them?

9.    Thin, over-cooked "shorts" can be used as environmentally-friendly toothpicks.

10.  French Fries, when wrapped with a steel jacket, make inexpensive test projectiles for rail guns.

11.  If you are stranded on a desert island with nothing but potatoes, oil and string, you could make
       French Fries and tie them together to make a raft and sail back to civilisation.

12.  If you are trying to quit smoking, a French Fry has a similar size and shape and can be held in
       the hand just like a cigarette.

13.  Ketchup can be put on the end of the French Fry cigarette to make it look like it's lit.

14.  If the French Fry is hot, it will really look like you're smoking, but you might burn your fingers.

15.  French Fries make great door stops; The firm shell will not mar most wood and metal doors
       and the soft center will absorb a lot of force.

16.  When the batteries in the remote control are dead, a well-thrown French Fry can change the
       channel.

17.  French fries can be stacked in columns in front of a window for added privacy and insulation.

18.  French Fries can be used to cover a runway in order to soften the impact for any airplane
       forced to make a landing with no landing gear.

19.  A lot of French Fries tied together make an excellent pendulum when the grandfather clock in
       your living room is broken.

20.  Cotton wrapped around the ends of a French Fry makes an excellent swab.

21.  A French Fry is the enviromentally friendlier instrument with which to stir a cup of coffee. Tell
       'em to keep the plastic stir-stick; who needs more landfill?

22.  A long French Fry can be used to tickle the back of your throat to help you make more room
       to eat more French Fries!

and.....

Twenty-one Things You Never Knew About French Fries

The French Fry is a very complex food, with a rich history and a culture unto itself. Here's twenty-one things you probably never knew about them.

1.    Nobody knows what to call them. Americans say "French Fries," but they're not really French.

2.    The French call them "Pommes Frites, (pawm-fritt)" but that means "apples, fried."

3.    "Pomme de terre" is French for "potato." A "pomme (pawm)" is an apple. A pomme-de-terre
       (pawm-doo-tair)" is an "apple of the dirt." 

4.    Germans call French Fries "pommes (paw-mess)" and spell it "pommes frites" like the French.

5.    "Apfel (ahp-fell)" is German for "Apple."

6.    Germans call a potato a "Kartoffel," except some who call it an "Erd-apfel (aird-ahp-fel),"
       which is "dirt-apple," which is what the French call potatoes, too.

7.    In America, French Fries are usually eaten with the fingers; in Europe, they are usually eaten
       with a miniature, two-tine fork.

8.    French Fries are vegetables.

9.    So is ketchup, because it's made of tomatoes.

10.  When you smother French Fries with ketchup and eat it all, you've probably eaten two servings
       of vegetables, about one-third of the US Recommended Daily (nutritional) Allowance.

11.  A small order of French Fries at McDonald's weighs less than four ounces (112g).

12.  One small order of French Fries at McDonald's is not enough.

13.  French Fries are the number two "drunk food" – what people eat when they've had too much to
       drink.

14.  Pizza is number one.

15.  French Fries don't taste very good when baked on a pizza.

16.  Neither does salad.

17.  Frozen French Fries which you buy in a store have already been partially cooked.

18.  You still have to cook them some more at home.

19.  French Fries are a more American food than apple pie and hot dogs, which are both German.

20.  Even though they call French Fries "chips" in here in England, if you ask us for French Fries,
       we'll know what you're talking about. Probably.

21.  You won't get your French Fries served in newspaper in England anymore. They made a law
       against it.

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