The Squaw Theory.

The chief of an Indian tribe in Western Nebraska was faced with a

dilemma. He had three daughters. The oldest was one of the most

beautiful women who ever lived. She was smart as well as beautiful. The

second daughter was also very beautiful, but not as striking as the

first. The third was very, very plain. (The tribe was a group of Plains

Indians.) There were three young Indian warriors vying for the

affections of the chief's daughters. To solve the dilemma and get his

daughters married, the chief proposed that the three Indian braves go

out into the forest and return with evidence of their hunting prowess.

All three braves agreed.

The first Indian, the best warrior and hunter in the tribe, immediately

spotted a ferocious mountain lion. Taking his bow and arrow, he shot the

lion, skinned it and returned to camp with the pelt. The chief was

impressed, and asked the young warrior if he wanted to marry his oldest,

most beautiful, most accomplished daughter. The brave replied that he

did. The chief said, "Take your lion skin to your tepee, lay it on the

ground, and my daughter will join you. Then you may consummate your

marriage, and tomorrow, with all the rites and traditions of the tribe,

I shall perform the sacred marriage ceremony." The young Indian did as

he was directed.

The second Indian, not as lucky as the first, took two days to find prey

worth shooting to prove his hunting prowess. He spotted a bear. He shot

it with his bow and arrow, skinned it, and returned to camp with the

bearskin. The chief was impressed, and he asked him if he wanted to

marry his second daughter. The brave replied that he did. The chief

said, "Take the bearskin to your tepee, lay the pelt on the ground, and

my daughter will join you. Then you may consummate your marriage, and

tomorrow, in all the rites and traditions of our tribe, I shall perform

the sacred marriage ceremony." The Indian did as he was directed.

The third Indian was, to be frank, a bumbling, inept fool. He was no

warrior, he couldn't hunt, and he could barely build a fire. He had been

a failure at "Indianing" since anyone could remember. He went out to the

forest, but couldn't find a lion or bear. Finally, he did manage to find

a sleeping hippopotamus wallowing in the river. (Probably an escaped

hippopotamus from the circus or zoo, to explain its presence in western

Nebraska.) He shot it, skinned it, and brought the hippo skin back to

camp. The chief was impressed, and he realized that although this was no

fierce forest animal, the young brave had fulfilled his hunting

obligation. "Would you like to marry my third, plain daughter?" the

chief asked. The brave replied that he did. "Take the hippo skin to your

tepee, lay it on the ground, and my daughter will join you and you may

consummate your marriage. Tomorrow, with all the rites and traditions of

the tribe, I shall perform the sacred marriage ceremony." And the young

brave followed instructions.

Oh, wonder of wonders! Nine months later, three wonderful events

occurred. The first Indian brave and his beautiful wife had a baby boy.

The second Indian brave and his beautiful wife had a baby boy. But the

bumbling Indian who was good at nothing, and his plain wife, who wasn't

much better, had twin boys! The tribe was amazed, none more than the

chief, because twins portended something special in Indian folklore, and

nobody could understand how this had happened to the third daughter and

the third brave. Finally the chief gathered the people around him and

said, "I believe I know the reason for this mighty and wonderful event.

Remember, ... the sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the

sons of the squaws on the other two hides."