An old farmer was watching the county highway going by his house when he

noticed a rabbit hopping around on the road.

He heard a semi-truck coming down the road and, sure enough, it nailed the

rabbit.

Suddenly, the semi screeched to a halt. The driver got down and looked at the

rabbit.

He went back to the truck, retrieved a bottle, dumped it on the rabbit,

tossed the bottle inthe ditch, and took off again.

The farmer was curious, so he kept an eye on the rabbit. Suddenly it

twitched. Then it started moving.

Soon, the rabbit was hopping around like nothing had happened. Then it

started to stop and wave after every few hops.

The rabbit continued to hop, hop, wave, hop, hop, wave until it was out of

sight.

The farmer was really curious now, so he went over to retrieve the bottle. He

picked it up and what do you think the label said?

"Hair Restorer With Permanent Wave"!

After the grand failure of epic film 'Gandhi' at the box office,

Richard Attenborough appointed a commitee of renowned and

succesful Bollywood producers & directors. The commitee members

included :

1. K.C.Bokadia

2. Subhash Ghai

3. Dada kondke

4. Ramanand Sagar

5. Manmohan Desai

7. Kadar Khan

It was decided that name of the film 'Gandhi' was not colourful.

The following names were suggested :

Alternative names for film 'Gandhi'

1. Laathi Bani Jwaala

2. Charkha Gaye Geet Sunaye

3. Kasturba & Mohan in South Africa

4. Khadi Rang Layegi

5. Gandhi Ki Aandhi

6. DhotiPremi

7. Khaana Chhod Dunga

8. Ujda Chaman

9. Muurdon ka mela , Jaliawala

10. Saabarmati ka Dulaara

11. Aatma aur Mahaatma

It was also realized that the dialogues did not have that

bollywood 'fizz'.

Following dialogues were suggested :

1. (Situation : First scene of the movie where Nathuram Godse

fires bullets in Gandhi's chest)

Godse: isi din ka muze bachpan se intajaar tha kamine, ab bachke

kahan jayega ?

Gandhi : ye lo tumhare saamne seena taanke khada hun. himmat hai

to chala goli. are aisi goli ab tak nahi bani jo gandhi ka

seena paar kare.

Godse fires...Gandhi dies on the spot.

Godse : Maa, maine tumhe diya huva vachan nibhaya hai. Ab

tumhari aatma ko shanti milegi.

2. (Situation : Gandhi is teaching Meeraben to weave on

charkha... and lots more!!!! Whoever said that MKG was a simple

man!!)

Gandhi : Aao Meera, mere karib aao

Meeraben : Hato ji. Muze sharm aati hai.

Gandhi : Are pagli. Aazadi ke kaam me kaisi haya sharm ? Ye

dekho, aise is dhaage ko charkhepe chadhao.

Meeraben (blushes) : tum bataao naa....

Gandhi (takes her hand in his hand) : aaah.... kitna narm hath hai

tumhara...

Meeraben : Chhodo ji, koi dekh lega

3. (Situation : Gandhi is being thrown out of train in South

Africa because he is black)

Gandhi : Ye kaisa insaaf hai bhagwan ? suna tha bhagwan ke ghar

der hai, andher nahi. Ab tumhi meri laaj rakho bhagwan...

(His baggage gets thrown out of the train behind him. His

mother's photo is smashed to pieces.

Gandhi looks at the photo, slowly his eyes turn red... his voice

quivers...) Gandhi : Yaad rakhna kutto, ek din isi gao me aakar

subko dekh lunga, chun chun ke marunga, chun chun ke marunga.....

4. (Situation : Kasturba is on death bed, gandhi is sitting besides

her)

Kasturba : Ek vachan do muze, tum doosri shadi karoge.

Gandhi : Ye kya kah rahi ho Kasturi, bhala tumhare bina ji paaunga

main ?

Kasturba : Muze kuch nahi malum. Aaj ye vaada karo muzse. Tabhi

chainse marungi main.

Gandhi (tries to smile) are pagli, is umar me bhala muzse shadi

kaun karega ?

Kasturba (laughs naughtily) : bas karo ji. Itna umar ka khayal

hota to us Meeraben ke peeche pagal na hote tum...

Gandhi (suddenly realizes that the conversation is taking a

dangerous turn...) : Achcha ab tum baat mat karo. Doctor ne mana

kiya hai...

The commitee suggested that songless and danceless movie will

never sell. Following dance sequences were suggested....

1. A Cabaret number by Silk Smitha. This will be shown to depict

the lavish lifestyle of the British. It could be shown that the

dancer later joins freedom struggle.

2. A Choli dance sequence (pref. by Madhuri Dixit or Kimi

Katkar). The situation will be cultural festival in Saabarmati

Ashram). The Choli must be hand-woven and therefore, very

skimpy. Now, this situation very naturally leads to rape of the

lead dancer by General Dyer (the man who ordered Jaliawala

Killing). This will definitely prove his villianish character.

3. A dream sequence of Gandhi & Meeraben is desparately needed.

The lyrics could be "Main meera tu Mohan........"