deadline was missed or a project failed and who was

responsible.

Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when

their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode.

Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions,

and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

Cube farm - an office filled with cubicles.

Ego surfing - scanning the Net, databases, print media, and

so on, looking for references to one's own name.

Prairie dogging - something loud happens in a cube farm,

and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going

on.

Idea hamsters - people who always seem to have their idea

generators running .

Mouse potato - the on-line generation's answer to the couch

potato.

CLM (Career-Limiting Move) - Used among microserfs to

describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while

he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Ohnosecond - that minuscule fraction of time in which you

realize you've just made a big mistake.

SITCOM - stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive

Mortgage.

Stress puppy - a person who thrives on being stressed-out

and whiny .

Tourists - those who take training classes just to take a

vacation from their jobs -- "We had three serious students

in the class; the rest were tourists."

Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss.

Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell

comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old

man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.

CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the

social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Dorito Syndrome - Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction

triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional

content. "I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now

I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."

Under Mouse Arrest - Getting busted for violating an on-line

service's rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to

you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."

Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open.

A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings.

"Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the

second session?"

Dead Tree Edition - The paper version of a publication

available in both paper and electronic forms, as in: "The

dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle..."

Graybar Land - The place you go while you're staring at a

computer that's processing something very slowly (while you

watch the gray bar creep across the screen). "I was in

graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD

rendering."

Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or

telecommute.

Squirt The Bird - To transmit a signal up to a satellite.

"Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the

bird?"

Cobweb Site - A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been

updated for a long time. A dead web page.

It's a Feature - From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a

feature." Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant

experience that you wish to gloss over.

Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud

found on computer keyboards. "Are there any other terminals

I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient

person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the

alpha geek around here."

Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning

just above the rack and file. Decisions that fall from the

adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant

to the problems they were designed to solve.

Gray Matter - Older, experienced business people hired by

young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable

and established.

Chainsaw consultant - an outside expert brought in to

reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with

clean hands

404 - someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web

error message "404 Not Found", meaning the requested

document couldn't be located -- Don't bother asking him,

he's 404.

Elvis year - the peak year of something's popularity --

Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993.