Ramarao and Vikram

The housewife asked her lover, Ramarao

"Rama , Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"

"Sure" replied Rama. "What's your phone number?"

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A housewife went into a bank to withdraw some money. "Can you

identify yourself?" asked the bank clerk.

The housewife opened her handbag, took out a mirror, looked into it

and said, "Yes, it's me and I'm alright."

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Once Ramarao, the psychiatrist, met a friend and exclaimed, "I

heard you are dead."

"But you see I'm alive," smiled the friend.

"Impossible," said Ramarao. "The man who told me is much more

reliable than you."

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Vikram went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and

asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"

"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"

"Oh! How nice it would be ," said Vikram with joy,

"I have been illiterate for so long."

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"I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor." said Ramarao.

"Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big

kiss to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try it?" replied Vikram.

Ramarao said: "Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be

right over."

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Ramarao was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving.

Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded

the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."

Rama immediately responded, "Thank you , your honour, I'll have a

scotch and soda."

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Court scene: [Rama and Vikram are lawyers]

Rama: You're a fool

Vikram: And you're a damn fool.

Judge : As the learned lawyers have now identified each other, can

we now proceed with the case.

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The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager

Ramarao kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Ramarao, Is this

what I pay you for?"

Ramarao coolly replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

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His wife phoned Vikram in the office and said:

"Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for

dinner."

"Good" replied Vikram, "make sure she's prepared well".