A man died and went to hell. Upon arrival he met with the CDIC

(Chief Devil in Charge).

Devil: We run things a bit differently nowadays, you get to pick

your own personal hell.

Man: That's not so bad, whatcha got?

Devil: Well, I'm going to open a series of doors, look inside,

assess the situation and then tell me if that's where you

want to spend eternity.

Man: OK.

The devil opens the first door and there's a room of people

standing on their heads on a hardwood floor.

Man: Ouch, that seems painful. It's not for me, what's next.

The devil opens the next door to reveal the same situation, only

on concrete floors.

Man: That looks worse, got anything left.

The devil opens the third door to reveal a room full of people

standing knee deep in shit drinking coffee.

Man: Well, the shit smells but I could stand the smell and drink

coffee all day. I'll take this one.

Devil: Are you sure this is the one you want.

Man: Absolutely!

The devil then escorts him in the room shuts and locks the door.

As soon as the door closes, a whistle blows and a loud speaker

says "Alright, coffee break is over, back on your heads."

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers,

8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever

went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand

in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control

them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent

boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest

to talk with the boys. The father replied, "Sure, do that before

I kill them!"

The mother went to the priest and made her request. He

agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and

alone. So the mother sent him to the priest.

The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive desk

he sat behind. For about five minutes they just sat and stared

at each other. Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the

boy and asked, "Where is God?"

The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room,

all around, but said nothing.

Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy and asked,

"Where is God?"

Again the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third

time, in a louder, firmer voice, the priest leaned far across the

desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked,

"Where is God?"

The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older

brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the

closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally

said, "We are in BIIIIG trouble."

The older boy asked, "What do you mean, BIIIIG trouble?"

His brother replied, "God is missing and they think we did

it."