The Zen Master goes up to the hot dog cart and says," Make me one with

everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master,

who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and

closes it.

"Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.

And the vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

A cat gave birth to kittens outside a Communist State kindergarten.

A boy rushed in to tell his teacher the good news. He added, " One

kitten spoke to me. It said that getting born in a Communist country was

the best thing that happened to it."

The teacher was totally excited. Here was a little boy so taken in by

all the propaganda that he actually believed Communism was heavenly.

She called the District Official to ask him to come over as soon as he

could.

As transportation was primitive, the District Official took some days to

get there.

He was given the best treatment and the boy was duly called to tell him

what the kitten had said.

The boy came in and said," The cat gave birth to kittens and one of the

kittens spoke to me. It said that being born in a Communist country was

the worst thing that had happened to it."

"But that is not what it said the last time you talked to me," the angry

teacher retorted.

" Yes," said the boy," but since then its eyes have opened."

While traveling home from a business trip a man traveling at 60 miles an

hour in a 45 mile an hour zone topped a hill just in time to see a state

trooper turn on his flashing red and blue lights. As the police car

pulled out behind the man's car the man thought to himself, "I can outrun

this guy," and increased his speed to 70 miles an hour. With the police

car still in pursuit he accelerated to 80, then 90, then 100 miles an

hour. Before long he decided it was of no hope and pulled over to the

side of the road. The officer walked up to the side of the man's vehicle

and shouted, "I have had a very bad day and am in no mood to stand out

here in this heat giving you a ticket. Just give me a good reason why you

were driving so fast and I'll let you go." The man thought for a minute,

then said, "Well, officer, my wife left me about three weeks ago for a

state trooper. When I saw your lights come on, I thought you were him and

you were trying to bring her back." The officer let him go.