A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat

attacks them.

The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.

"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important

to learn a foreign language?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why was the dolphin so depressed?

His life had no porpoise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A father asked his 5-year-old son just what he thought he did to earn a weekly

allowance. "Well, for one thing," replied the lad, "I keep your wife occupied

all day."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A elderly woman driver made a right-hand turn from the left lane and collided

with another car. The other driver angrily

asked, "Lady? Why in the hell didn't ya signal at least?"

She huffily replied, "Sir, if you paid any attention at all, you'd know I

ALWAYS turn here."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMAZING ANAGRAMS

Take the word or phrase on the left, rearrange the letters, and you get the

word or phrase on the right:

Dormitory == Dirty Room

Desperation == A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code == Here Come Dots

Slot Machines == Cash Lost In 'Em

Animosity == Is No Amity

Mother-in-law == Woman Hitler

Snooze Alarms == No More Z's, alas.

Alec Guinness == Genuine Class

Semolina == Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place

Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one

Contradiction == Accord not in it

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

-- Neil A. Armstrong ==

A thin man ran, makes large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon -- on to

Mars!