Sunday Service

One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing

staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time,

so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the

plaque he said quietly, "Good morning son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man not taking his eyes off

the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service",

replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the

large plaque.

Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly,

"Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"

Remote Control

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished

to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control

for a television set in her purse.

"Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me,

so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

Blind

Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had

an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives

them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed

cured and free to go.

Jon was called into the doctor's office first and asked if he

understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions

correctly. The doctor said, "Jon, what would happen if I poked

out one of your eyes?"

Jon said, "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What if I poked out both eyes?"

"I'd be completely blind." The doctor stood up, shook Jon's

hand, and told him he was free.

On Jon's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon

mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what

questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers.

So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities

and asked, "What would happen if I cut off one ear?"

Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct

answer said, "I'd be half blind."

The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. "What if I cut

off the other ear?"

"I'd be completely blind," Amanpreet answered.

"Amanpreet, can you explain how you'd be *blind*?"

"My hat would fall down over my eyes."