Nothing to hide.

A tax collector went to a tannery. "Why haven't you paid your taxes?"

the collector asked the owner of the tannery.

"Business has been very bad," answered the tanner.

"Do you mind if I check around the place?" asked the tax man.

"Go ahead," invited the owner. . . . "You'll see I have nothing to hide."

Good catch

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put

his hand out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his

hand.

He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman

looking down.

"Is this yours?" he asked.

She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.

On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink.

As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm

about to have dinner. There's plenty; would you like to join me?"

He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the

evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening.

Would you like to stay the night?"

The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you

meet?"

"No," she replied, "only those who catch my eye."

When In Rome (Pun)

One fine day in ancient Rome, Julius Caesar turned his attention to a

problem plaguing his mighty empire: laundry. Getting all those white

togas clean was a constant pain. He also had some weird ideas that if he

could get the togas stiff enough, they would be like a light coat of

armor... not enough to last through a sustained battle, but enough to

ward off an assassin's arrow.

He figured the easiest way to get this done on a large scale would be to

dump a bunch of detergent into a tidal pool, and dump the toga's in

afterwards. (This was two thousand years ago... the environmental

movement was restricted to a few druids here and there). The gentle

motion of the tides would wash the dirt out. Afterwards, all that would

have to be done would be to throw some starch in, and then pull the

toga's out to dry.

He assigned this task to some of his scientists and engineers. They

started executing his plan, and all was going well until they threw in

the starch. The goddess of nature, angered at the environmental

destruction, caused a huge tidal wave to spring up and wash over the

assembled workers. A stiff breeze afterwards dried them off so quickly

they were all frozen into place.

After a little while, Caesar began to wonder about the progress of the

enterprise, so he decided to visit the site with some of his advisors.

Arriving at the tidal pool, he was unable to make heads or tails of the

sight of his workers stuck standing there.

Until of course, one of his advisors whispered to him: . . . Beware,

the tides of starch.

(By N Varacalli <bbbnvaracal@bbbdeshaw.com>)