Archery

Once there was a competition. The idea of the competition was to see who

who was the best using longbow and arrows. Target was an apple on top of a

little boy's head.

First man steps forward, aims and shoots directly into the apple. "I'm

William Tell."

Second man steps forward, aims and shoots directly into William's arrow.

"I'm Robin Hood."

Then the third man steps forward, aims and shoots directly into the boy's

left eye. "I'm sorry!"

Questions and Answers for the Med Student's Quiz

Anti-Body.....................Against Everyone

Artery........................The Study Of Fine Painting

Barium........................What You Do When CPR Fails

Benign........................What You Are After You Be Eight

Bowel.........................What You Do After A Good Performance

Cardiac Arrest................To Be Taken Into Custody, For-Stealing A Coupe

Deville

Cardiology....................Advanced Study Of Poker Playing

Charlie Horse.................A 10 To 1 Long Shot In The Kentucky Derby

Cesarean Section..............A District In Rome

Coma..........................A Punctuation Mark

Colic.........................A Sheep Dog

Congenital....................Friendly

Dilate........................To Live Longer

Fester........................Quicker

Genes.........................What Your Wear When You Cut The Grass

G. I. Series..................Baseball Games Between Teams Of Soldiers

Hangnail......................A Coat Hook

Hemorrhoid....................A Male Alien From Outer Space

Medical Staff.................A Doctor's Cane

Minor Operation...............Coal Digging

Morbid........................A Higher Offer

Nitrate Lower.................Than The Day Rate

Node..........................Was Aware Of

Organic.......................Organ Repairman

Outpatient....................A Person Who Has Fainted

Paralyze......................Two Far-Fetched Stories

Post-Operative................A Letter Carrier

Protein.......................In Favor Qf Young People

Scalpel.......................What You Stand On To Clean Windows In Hi-Rise

Apartments

Secretion.....................Hiding Anything

Serology......................Study Of English Knighthood

Tablet........................A Small Table

Tumor.........................An Extra Pair

Urine.........................Opposite Of You're Out

Varicose Veins................Veins Which Are Very Close Together

Dog Tales

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign

saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he

noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash

register.

He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to

beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look

like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that

sign?"

"Because"; the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept

tripping over him."

Defence

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong

evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's

closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be

convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have

a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.

"Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into

this courtroom."

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all

looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But

you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there

is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and

insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later,

the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired

the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the

door." The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we did look, but your client

didn't."