Aye for an Aye

Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains

who had been friends for years, would always cry "Aye!"

and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other.

A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"

The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never

heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"

Jobs

My first job was working in an orange factory, but I got canned-- couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

Eventually, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

One season I worked at a drive-thru Photomat. The only problem with that job was, I was the only one at the Christmas Party!

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

Next I tried a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

So then, I got a job in a work-out center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

Lastly was my working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.