A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at the homecoming.

She gave him the once-over and said, "Sorry, I won't dance with a child."

"Please forgive me," responded the underclassman. "I didn't realize you were pregnant."

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Lessons

"And how many hours a day did you do lessons?" said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject.

"Ten hours the first 'day,," said the Mock Turtle. "Nine the next., and so on.

"What a curious plan!" exclaimed Alice.

"That's the reason they're called lessons," the Gryphon remarked. "Because they lessen from day to day." (By Lewis Carroll)