William Penn

The famous Statesman, William Penn, had two old aunts named Natalie and Ellie who were great at baking pies. But, alas, they got greedy and raised the prices up and up until all the people in Quakertown were talking about those pie-rates of Penn's aunts.

The Busy Poet

The young poet was devoted, so totally devoted to his work -- that he would rise in the morning, and immediately begin penning new couplets and rhymes. So devoted, mind you, that he did nothing else. In fact, it was said that he only went from bed to verse.

The Tour

In Florida, a group had started a con ring that went to old-folks homes and offered trips to the homeland, Ireland. After securing their down payment (usually around a thousand dollars) the con-artists would split.When the scam was discovered, the story ran in the local papers underthe headline: Tour Allure: A lie

Paint

Paints were a very precious quantity in the good old days, and Britishmerchants could make a young fortune supplying paints to the colonies.One company sent a clipper ship full of red paint across the ocean. It had the very bad luck to collide with another ship full of blue paint.As a result of this disaster, both crews were marooned.

Tea

George loved tea. He'd always come over for several cups. He had an insatiable thirst. He became such a nuisance that we decided to fix him. To cure him of all desire for tea, we decided to drown him with the stuff. One day we forced him to drink ten posts of tea. As he staggered off, we laughed at how clever we had been in putting ten pots in a tea pest.

Wounds of Valor

Two old tomcats were bragging about their brave exploits. "Nice looking scars you've got their on your neck!" said one. "Thanks," said the other, "I made them from scratch."

The Railroad Station

A railroad porter decided to get married in a large room on the secondfloor of the the terminal. So many friends and kinfolk showed up, that their combined weight caused the building to collapse injuring the bride groom and many of the guests. The moral of the story: Never marry above your station

Columbus

We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others

believed it was flat and that if you travelled far enough you would go over the edge. We also know that Columbus reached what we now know as America. While there are still a few who believe Columbus returned to Spain and told Queen Isabella that he discovered a new world, most believe he had told her he had reached India. Recently documents written by Queen Isabella's official scribe were uncovered revealing what Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage. His first words were, "I'll bet I'm the first man who ever got nineteen hundred miles on a galleon."

Indian Artifacts

Artifacts are a major portion of an Indian reservation's economy. Annually, thousands of tourists visit reservations and most will not leave without purchasing at least one momento of the traditionalIndian culture. One enterprising Indian was able to outsell his Competitors in the sale of wooden dolls by selling them at only a fraction of the cost others had to charge. On examination of his dolls they found that where traditionally hard wood was used, this Indian would use cheap pine on which he glued thin pieces of fine mahogany, thus being able to produce the dolls at only a fraction of the cost. While he claimed his dolls were still authenic, his competitors complained that it was only a cheap Sioux Veneer.