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February 17, 2006 1:22a *This is actually an entry I meant to post the Monday after the Super Bowl. Obviously I procrastinated for a little while. No matter, you'll likely read it, anyway.* I'm listening to The Mars Volta again. De-Loused in the Comatorium is so fitting of my mood of late. Sunday really sapped my energy. Robert and I got into this massive fight, which resulted in me leaving him at Joe's. I headed south, for some strange trip down memory lane. They painted my creepy old house yellow, perhaps to try and make it cheerier; to cover up what was (or is) there. They also cut down every last evergreen in the back yard to put in an unsightly steel structure, a workshop I'd guess. After seeing that, I drove instinctively down roads that I should have been to young to remember. Eventually, I happened upon a familiar river, sat near it and read for a few hours. When it started to get cold, I left to visit the cemetery where my grandfather and most of my other close relatives are buried. I was the only person there, but I could tell that I had arrived only a few hours after a funeral. The thing I notice most about this particular cemetery is that the birds sing, and that the sun has shone for every funeral I've ever been to here. It's quite peaceful, really. I didn't decide to head back to Joe and Kelly's for a long time. When I finally did, I caught the end of the Super Bowl which I had tried so hard to avoid. I hate football. We ended up there until 1:30am, and I had to drive home. I'm exhausted, and now more than ever, I can't seem to shake the need to take a long break in the woods. At the very least, I know I'll have to wait until summer to do that, and even then, who would I go with? No one I know has the flexible work schedule I do. I really need to go to sleep. I'm just rambling now... January 30, 2006 6:52p Today was the most stable, drama-free day I've had for quite some time. I got up around 9:30, went to work, did some research and got a couple of new clients. I left there, bought oil for my mom's truck, got a few groceries and some veggie lo mein, and now I'm home. There is no food better in the world than veggie lo mein, save pad thai, but my favorite place for that is closed until summer. Anyway, the lack of drama is causing me to wonder when the universe might implode, as this is simply not normal. I'm waiting for some horrible phone call about something terrible, but somehow I don't think its coming. How delightful. I'm in an I-love-everyone mood, and that's a rarity. Jump on it while you can. January 12, 2006 5:38p Weee! I'm finally getting my Tibetan singing bowl. I'm so excited. I am also obtaining five new Merkabas for an unheard of price. I'm terribly pleased. Robert and I will finally be getting our settlement either tomorrow or Monday, which means paying off some bills, my car getting fixed, and new jeans for me. Yay! I believe the only other exciting thing to report is that Tj and Julia are getting married! I'm so happy for them. Julia and I really started talking a month or so before he proposed, and she's awesome. They'll be tying the knot this fall. :) It has been brought to my attention that El Douchebaggo checks my site regularly, and that he's actually set his own programming up to automatically inform him of any update. This brings me some sort of amusement... That's a whole new level of boredom. Here I was thinking he had kids to take care of or something. Heh.
December 23, 2005 11:00a I had tea with Bob last night at Doppio. I love that place; their decor makes me happy. It was good to see him, and to hear that he's doing alright. I know I talked too much, but I always do... Anyway, I hope that he didn't figure out that I'm an outright psycho after all of this time (Bwahahaha!). I'm in a weird mood this morning-- probably because I lack good sleep. I'm really in the mood for some Indian Chai (with soy milk!)...Last night at Doppio, the barista gave me cow's milk in my Chai. Bleh. Robert is in portland right now, visiting his boyfriend. Damn Jojo. I wanted Robert on his days off. He'll be home tonight though. I kinda want to get our room cleaned up before he gets here, but its scary in there. Tee hee. What a horrible thing to admit to in such a public place. I miss him. Even though he's usually here if he's not working, I still feel lonely without him. Its a winter thing, normally I really like my solitude. Its nice to have him near because he doesn't feel the need to make me tell him all about how I feel. We've been together long enough that he knows, and he'll just hold me instead of interrogate. Ah, yay for spouses. I went to visit my mom last night, which was wonderful. My brothers kick ass. I laughed so hard I nearly peed. When I got home this morning, there was a basket on the stairs from our landlords with toys for our kitties, a card, and Aakki--Daakki to Zoomorphic, which is an encyclopedia about out county. I've been pining for one ever since I saw Bob's(the other Bob) copy. How did they know? Probably just coincidence, but it's awesome! I'm going to go have tea now. Its too cold to sit here any longer. December 21, 2005 5:24p
Christmastime sucks ass. Seriously. Now, I don't announce this, generally, because the notion is unacceptable. I've done alright all winter, but now that familial Christmas festivities are a mere three days away, I'm feeling rather cranky. My father is not coming up for Christmas this year, which is a relief. It means I won't have to deal with my bitchy grandmother or anything. I'm fairly sure we'll be seeing Mark and Kami this year, as we usually do. I'm getting really rather tired of my grandmother feeding him bullshit about me, though. It seems she bitches at me vicariously though her child. Nice. People form their own opinions, I suppose. Anyway, although my father isn't going to be here, I'm still having difficulty reprogramming myself to associate Christmas with something other than abandonment. "Hey, kids, its Christmas eve! I'm gonna pack up and move to Bum-Fucked Egypt with my slut-on-the-side, okay?" That aside, we aren't having a Christmas tree this year-- we could have, but I'm so positively sick over the fact that all of my sentimental ornaments are gone, that I don't even want to bother. I think they may have gotten mixed in with Samanthas things, perhaps she just hasn't gone through them yet or something, but I don't have it in me to converse with her right now. I'm emotionally raw as is. That's all I wanted to bitch about, I guess. I'm going to go now. Ciao. December 13, 2005 9:08p My job is quite enjoyable, for the most part. In spite of the snow, I've had a relatively busy past two weeks. Right now, I'm just doing laundry and watching Night Court. Heh. I can't even remember the last time I've seen this show. I'm at my mother-in-law's house, and it smells like paint... but I don't know why. Hmm. My kitties were very sick for a few days, Sithy was puking all over, and George was peeing in places that definitely weren't the litter box. So now, I've got a nice big vet bill, no answer as to what happened to Sithy (but he's stopped puking) and George had a UTI. Now they have super expensive food and hairball medicine. Yay. I really don't remember why I started this update, except that I noticed it's been a long time. I'm having a bunch of funky recurring dreams. I'll have to detail them later, though. Things keep coming up. Novembre 29, 2005 9:07p
Novembre 27, 2005 7:59p
What if everything around you -Right Where It Belongs, NIN November 20, 2005 3:17a Site Note: Archival! I'm still up. I screwed up my sleeping schedule again. As I type that, I realize that it holds a ring that might indicate I'm actually capable of keeping a schedule for any prolonged period. This is simply not so. I thought I should update, as it has been 10 days. In that 10 days, Robert lost his job, and quickly found new, more Robert-friendly employment. Finally, he won't come home smelling like motor oil! He has been so tired of that damnable job... When I came to pick him up, he was grinning from ear to ear. I know that money will be difficult for the next few months, but I am so glad he will have a job he can enjoy. That makes all the difference in the world. He starts tomorrow. I'm really exahausted now, and I'm not spelling things correctly. All is relatively well, however. Robert and I are steadily working on getting the house ready for the winter holidays, and my next major project is getting my kitties 'altered.' George sprayed something for the first time, recently, and rather than kill him, I think we'll simply have them 'altered.' Money is tight, as I previously mentioned, so I'll be calling PROD on Monday morning to see if we can get the cost discounted. Besides, we have two babies to be altered, so, shouldn't I get a two for one deal? Anyway, I'm too tired to think anymore, so I'm gonna go sleepy now. Novembre 10, 2005 12:15a Bwahaha! I gots an Acer laptop!!!! Woot! I'm so happy!
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