H.P.K.:

Here's my belated take on Matrix Reloaded.

The meeting between studio bigwig and the Wachowski brothers (i figured a simple "This movie's shit - HATE", didn't convey my views well enough):

Studio Bigwig: So, that matrix movie made more than we expected.

Andy Wachowski: Or at least what you expected.

Bigwig: You guys think you can do another one?

Larry Wachowski: I think you know the answer to that.

Bigwig: If i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked.

Andy: Which means you only seek confirmation of what you know.

Larry: Or the debunking of what you do not.

Bigwig: Just answer the question. Can you do another matrix movie?

Larry: Our choice is limited by the designs of this world.

Andy: And to insinuate we have a choice at all is absurd.

Larry: I think the real question is why we have made the movie.

Bigwig: But you haven't mad eanything yet....But i'll take that as a yes either way.

*Larry and Andy go crazy with the kung-fu fighting for 10 minutes*

Bigwig: That was great, you think you can put that in the movie?

Larry: That was simply a moment in time that can no longer be captured.

Bigwig: Yeah, well something like that?

Andy: If i close my eyes, both of you no longer exist. The world is a means solely for my own existence.

Larry: When i eat asparagus, my wizz smells funny.

Andy: Even though i can still hear you. That is for you only exist aurally.

Larry: Because for that moment in time my wizz takes on the form of the asparagus. The asparagus believes this to be so.

Bigwig: Whatever. Here's a billion dollars. Go make a movie. If it's crap we'll spend another billion on advertising and nobody will notice.

And there you have it. Two dickheads who fluked a good first movie have gone and done pop-philosophy 101, placed all their pathetic, nonsensical theories into one movie so fanboys think it's deep, and interspersed it with massive budget cgi-fu fighting.

Sorry lads, but this cuts it about as well as a Qantas terrorist safe plastic knife cuts through their frozen bread rolls.

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