A Simple Plan
Sam Raimi. The man gave the world the Evil Dead series, I liked Spiderman too, hell I'll even forgive that crap western* as a necessary Hollywood mistake (every director has to make one), but this bugger of a film sucked like a kraken..
A Simple Plan, oh the title irony. Now, I was brought up to think that 3 braindead beer bellied bozos who bumble into a bazillion bucks (please someone notice the alliteration, this stuff doesn't come easy) in illegal drug money (as opposed to that legal drug money made on asprin and vitamin c and stuff) would logically live happily ever after. But this movie has just tore this notion of mine to pieces. As a cautionary note to any beer bellied bozo's, if you come across seemingly abandoned bags of money circled by big evil looking crows, just leave it there. It's for the best.
So anyway apart from realising that all will not turn out peachy about 2 seconds after they find the money, what else could possibly be wrong with this movie? How about the theory of "when in doubt, kill shit" (the American way I suppose**). Seriously, Genghis Kahn would be envious of the trail of dead these guys were leaving, yet could any police pick up on this? Uuuuuh nope. Aaaah well at least you can fall back on Billy Pullman (actually, it's Paxton - NS2K) saying every panicky line except.....crap what's that one in Aliens that everyone quotes? ("I say we grease this rat-fuck, son of a bitch right now." - NS2K. Actually, I know it's not this one. Just thought I'd throw it in) ... Aaah geez I can't remember it, you know the one I mean. Sorry Bill, but that line's killed you, every time you put on that panicky voice I expect to hear that line come out of your mouth (if i could remember it that it), and when you don't... Well put simply, I'm bummed.
I'm going to cut this off early, my rage has subsided.
Rating: HATE!
* Ok, I'll admit i've never seen it, but that hasn't stopped me having opinions on movies in the past and it won't now either.
** sorry, that's almost political