Zarin was as good as his word.  After Reno had told him what he desired, Reno had been taken into the old barracks complex, which was insurmountably warmer than that empty old warehouse he had spent the previous night in.  As well, Zarin had provided Reno with food.  Nothing like what he got on the SSD, but it was sustenance, and it kept him alive.  That was all that mattered.  It felt fantastic to sleep on a bed (and one with a mattress, albeit worn out and dirty).  Considering he spent the previous night tied to a cold, metal chair, he was willing to hold back his complaints.

     Reno was frankly surprised at how much trust Zarin seemed to be placing in him.  Reno wasn’t bound in any way in the barracks, he was free to walk around as much as he wanted.  As well, the door to the barracks wasn’t locked at all.  If he wanted, Reno could’ve just walked out and made a run for it.  Of course, that would be very stupid.  Although there was a ship on this compound somewhere, Reno had no idea where it was. And he was guessing that it wouldn’t serve him well to run blindly around the compound, peeking in each hanger door to try to find Zarin’s shuttle.  For the time being, he would just have to stay where he is and cooperate with Zarin.

     Reno had been allowed an entire day of rest before Zarin returned to him, although it wasn‘t exactly the most restful day and night he had lived through.  It was in fact very rough, though not nearly as rough as the night before.  He had another dream last night.  Well, not a dream.  He had relived another memory.  He had no doubt in his mind that the first thing Zarin was going to ask was about what he relived last night.  To that end, he mentally prepared his response, and carefully remembered every detail.

     Reno was still lying on his cot, his filthy blanket wrapped tightly around his body, when Zarin walked into the room.  As was usual with him, he wasted no time.

     “Get up and follow me,” he commanded.  Reno did as he was told.  He left the confines of his warm blanket and followed Zarin out of the barracks.  He was led back to the same old hall he had started his interrogation in.  The same old hall he and Zarin used to train in, when the blizzards outside were too fierce to be in.  Reno took his normal chair, and Zarin his.  This time, however, Zarin made no effort at binding Reno’s hands.

     “Tempting fate, are we?” Reno asked.  With Reno’s hands untied, nothing was really stopping him from leaping across the table and strangling Zarin.  Well, nothing except for logic.  Stupid, pesky, annoying logic.  Realistically, and they both knew this, Renn couldn’t try any kind of offensive move.  He was far too weak and tired to make himself any kind of threat to Zarin. 

     Zarin smiled. “Now, Renn,” he said, amused, “I trust you’re not that stupid.  This is an act of good faith on my part.  As well, it’s a reward, for you cooperating last time.  When you refused to tell me what I wanted to know, you spent the night tied to a chair in a cold room with no food.  When you cooperated, you slept in a bunk, with a blanket, you received food, and you aren’t being tied up anymore.  Do keep that in mind before you try anything stupid.”

     “I will,” he grumbled back.

     “We left off yesterday,” he started, “with you killing Teton.  I am going to assume that last night you relived the next piece of the puzzle.  What happened next, Renn?  What were the repercussions of that act?”

     Just as he had expected.  Reno swallowed hard, trying to bite back the urge to pointless lie, or resist.  Resistance now would accomplish nothing, and sacrifice all.  He couldn’t afford it now.  “Master Doneeta brought me in front of the Jedi Council, to decide my future.”

     “I can’t imagine that was a very cheery meeting.”

     “No…it wasn’t.”

     “What happened?”

     “The Council condemned me.  They turned their backs on me.  At great personal expense, Master Doneeta managed to keep me in the Order, though.  I was under heavy watch at all times, and not just from my Master.  From the Council.  From other Masters.  From the Knights.  From other padawans.  They all watched me, but nobody talked to me.  Nobody ever accepted me again.”

     There was an awkward silence, broken up when Zarin said “That must’ve been a very trying experience for you, Renn.”

     Reno nodded.

     Zarin leaned in closer.  “Tell me more.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

     “I have a surprise for you,” Zarin said the following morning, as he strode into the barracks.  Reno was already up and sitting in his bed, staring at the frost covered floor.  Yesterday had been a relatively short yet slow day.  He told Zarin about the meeting of the Jedi Council to decide his fate, and the immediate aftermath of that incident, and then he was dismissed and allowed to rest.

     “You’re letting me go?” Reno asked as he stood up.

     Zarin let out an amused smile.  “Something like that.  Come.  I’m rewarding you for being so forthcoming with your past recently.  We’re going for a walk.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

     Zarin led him out of the barracks and down the path that led to the main courtyard. Although the ground was covered with freshly fallen snow, the sky above was devoid of clouds.  The sun hung high in the blue sky, though it didn’t exactly provide much heat.  Reno had spent 1/3 of his life on this rock, and he didn’t ever remember the temperature exceeding 20 degrees.  It wasn’t anywhere near that high now.

     As he reached the courtyard, Reno was very disappointed to learn that he still couldn’t feel the Force.  It was just a big empty spot around him.  He had to make a mental note to ask Zarin just how he was pulling this little trick off.  He glanced over at Zarin, whose face was slightly contorted, his eyes narrowed.  He seemed...uncomfortable.  Reno had the strong feeling that whatever was affecting his usage of the Force was also affecting Zarin.

     The courtyard was just as he remembered.  Big.  Square shaped.  Full of snow.  He couldn’t even count the hours...the days...the years that he and Zarin had spent training in this courtyard.  They worked on their force control.  They dueled with their lightsabers under the watchful eye of their Master.  They engaged in hand-to-hand combat, which was extremely brutal at times.  Under Master Odium’s tutelage, they always fought with no rules.  If you had the opportunity to hurt your opponent, you hurt him.  Many times, Zarin and Reno had walked away with broken limbs, broken noses, or eyes swollen shut.  Other times, they weren’t able to walk away.  Reno still possessed many scars on his bodies from his training, though he often strategically covered them up and hid them from the rest of the squadron.  Reno shuddered at the memories.

     “Cold?” he heard Zarin ask.  Although he was rather cold, he refused to give Zarin the benefit of having him admit it.

     “Not really,” he said back.  “In fact, it’s a bit warm out here.”

     “I meant your memories, Renn....are they as cold and harsh as the memories I have of this place?”  Zarin walked out in front of Reno, turning his back on him, taking in the environment.          

     Reno gritted his teeth.  “You went through everything I went through here.  Your memories are my memories.”

     Zarin turned to face him.  "Well now, that is certainly a false statement.  We have the same past experiences here, but definitely not the same memories.  Your thoughts and feelings make your memories here a completely different one than mine."

     “We went through the exact same things,” he repeated.  “I doubt there is much of a difference.”

     Zarin sighed.  “Do you remember,” he started, his voice drifting off slowly into memory, “when Master Odium took us on the ten mile trek to Mt. Procyon?”

     Reno closed his eyes and took a deep breath before answering.  “How could I forget?” he asked.

     Zarin continued.  “He took us through ten miles of a blizzard, then had us climb to the very peak of the mountain.  We thought it was a trial to test our endurance in a harsh climate.”

     “We were wrong,” Reno interrupted.  Zarin didn’t seem to hear him and continued.

     “Once up top, when you and I were talking about passing our test, Odium snuck up behind me and broke my leg.  I cried out in pain.  You tried to help me, but Odium forbid it.  He forced you to leave me behind and the two of you went back to the complex.  I was left alone at the top of Mount Procyon, in the middle of a blizzard, with a broken leg.  I thought for sure that I was going to die.  I thought that Odium had made his choice, and chosen you over me.  That he was leaving me there to die.  What did you think of it?”

     Reno thought back, trying to recall his memories.  It wasn’t very hard, as most of his time on Rhen Var was burned into his memory, whether he wanted them to be or not.  “I didn’t know what to think.  I was completely shocked.  I thought it was unfair and cruel.  I couldn’t think of any logical reason why he would do that to you.”

     “Nor could I, at first.  I lay there atop the mountain, my skin turning blue, icicles forming on my face, dying, and hating Odium for his betrayal.  I wanted to strangle him.  I wanted to kill him.  I did not want to pass on until I had strangled every last bit of life out of Odium.  But the only way I could get down from that mountain and hike back to the complex with a broken leg and complete my mission was if I summoned all of my hatred, all of my rage, all of my anger, and turned it into energy.  I needed to tap into that inner dark in my soul and use its power.  And I did.  Do you remember what happened when you saw me crawl through the main gate two days later?”

     Reno nodded.  “You locked your eyes on Odium and forced yourself to your feet.”

     “It hurt a lot.  I had never been so tired or in so much pain.  My muscles were cold, and knotted together.  My fingers were almost frozen in place.  It felt like my entire body was frostbitten.  I was close to death.  And then?”

     “You crossed the courtyard to where Odium was standing.  You stood in front of him, proud and tall.”

     “I couldn’t let him see my pain.  And?”

     “...you said “thank you”, and then you collapsed.”

     Zarin smiled.  “At the time, what did you think I was going to do?”

     “I thought you were going to attempt to kill him,” Reno said.  “It’s what I would’ve done, had he done the same thing to me.  He broke your leg and left you to die.”

     “He did no such thing,” Zarin shot back.     

     “I was there!” Reno shouted.  “I saw it.”

     Zarin shook his head in disappointment.  “Your naiveté is very disturbing, Renn.  How, at this stage in your life, you can remain so dense is almost beyond me.  He wasn’t trying to kill me, you fool.  He was teaching me.  Those two days I spent cold, alone and dying were some of the most important days in my life.  Those are the days that I learned that when the chips are down, I can only depend on myself.  Those are the days that I learned not only that my soul was filled with hate and rage, but how to use those qualities to power myself, to push myself, to better myself!  That is, I believe, a lesson you never truly learned.  But, we‘re getting off the topic here.”

     “And what exactly is the topic here?” Reno asked.

     “About how a situation can be experienced by two people and be perceived and remembered completely different.  About how you and I can have experienced everything the same here, and have totally opposite memories of this place.  You look at the Mount Procyon incident and see it as Odium trying to kill me, to be unnecessarily cruel.  I look on it as the days when he taught me the most important lessons of my life.”

     “Is that why you thanked him?”

     “Of course.  When I originally started climbing down that mountain, I had every intention of murdering Odium.  Of strangling him, or tearing him limb from limb.  But during those days...something changed.  As I struggled my way back to the complex, it started to slowly dawn on me.  I started to realize the power of my hatred.  I realized just what extremes my rage was allowing me to accomplish!  And once I realized that, it dawned upon me his true intentions.  He never meant to murder me.  He was testing me.  Testing not my endurance, but my strength.  My dark side strength.  My strength of will, of determination!  He was trying to see just how far my hatred and rage would drive me.  And on that day we both learned the answer to that.  Have you figured it out, Renn?  How far will my hatred and rage and fury drive me?”

     Reno locked his eyes on Zarin and stared the older man over.  Reno knew immediately the answer.  He didn’t have to peer into his eyes or look into his soul to find out.  It was written all over his face.  Finally, he whispered, “As far as you have to go...”

     Zarin smiled.

     “So you’re not completely hopeless after all,” he said.  “And tell me, Renn.  How far will your hatred drive you?  To what lengths will your rage take you?  Where does your fury end?”

     Reno mulled over the question, before finally answering, “I don’t know.”

     Zarin lost his smile. 

     “Perhaps...” he said slowly, “you should invest some time in finding out.  You claim to be a Sith Lord, Renn, but both you and I know that isn’t true.  A Sith Lord...a true Lord...gives into his anger and hatred, but he doesn’t let it blind or guide him.  He doesn’t let his hatred tell him what to do.  He guides and uses it.  The hatred does not control him so much that he is merely a mindless weapon in the hands of hate.  He controls it, so that hatred is his weapon.  It’s his tool.  You, Renn, are not a Master of Hate.  You are a tool of it.  And a very poor one, at that.”

     To that, Reno had no answer.

     Zarin sighed, a sound that Reno had become greatly accustomed to lately.  Zarin had expected some kind of attack or retort.  Reno hadn’t given one.  He had disappointed Zarin.  Good. 

     Reno expected that little disappointment to signal the end of their little excursion through history for the day.  Zarin, however, proved to be more persistent than that.

     “Do you remember the last time we both stood in this courtyard, Renn?”

     “Of course.”

     “What were we doing?”

     “As I recall, I was handing your ass to you in a duel.  Odium had just died, and you had attacked me.  We fought in this courtyard for hours, neither being able to get a clear advantage on the other.  Then we fought up that trail over there and into the mountains.  I defeated you and knocked you off the mountain, where I presumed you were dead.  The only mistake I made that day.”

     Zarin turned and shot him a glance.  Not one of anger or fury, but of total shock and confusion.  It was as if he had no idea what Reno was talking about, as if he were hearing him describe an entirely different event.

     “My god...” Zarin whispered, his voice coarse and raspy.  “Is that what you think happened?  Is that what you remember happening?”

     “It is what happened,” Reno stated, adamantly.

     Zarin started to pace in front of Reno, staring at the ground as he did so, shaking his head back and forth slightly.  “I...I had no idea,” he said.  “None at all.”

     “What?” Reno asked.  At the sound of his voice, Zarin turned to him

     “That your condition was this bad,” he responded.  “I knew that you were ignoring and hiding from your past, but I had no idea as to how far you went.  You haven’t repressed your past, you’ve suppressed it.  At first I thought you might just be holding back information and that there were some details you might be fuzzy about.....but nothing on this level.  Tell me...exactly...how did you defeat me in that duel?”

     Reno smiled as he recalled the fond memory.  “We were fighting along a narrow path leading up to the top of a mountain.  I was getting tired, but I could see that you were even more so.  I faked like I was slipping and about to fall off the side of the mountain.  Then you made your mistake.  You put all your momentum into a lunge and were caught off balance when I moved.  I swiped down and cut off your right leg right above the knee.  With you defenseless, I picked you up and threw you over the edge.  I thought it would be more satisfying to watch you fall to your death.  Your mistake was the lunge, mine was not killing you with my lightsaber.  We both made mistakes.”

     Reno waited for a response.  For anything.  But it never came.  Zarin just stood there, staring blankly at him, confused.  Perhaps having to relive the memory of his defeat had hurt him.  Good.

     “The truth hurts, doesn’t it, Zarin?” he asked.  Again, the sound of Reno’s voice snapped him out of his surprised stupor.  When he did speak, Reno was surprised by his answer.

     “Yes, but far more than you even understand right now.”

     He was right.  Reno didn’t understand.  Why was Zarin suddenly acting so strange?  What was it that he wasn’t understanding?  What had he said that caught Zarin so off guard?

     “I need to think.  Come.  We’re going back to the barracks.  You’re done for the day.  We’ll reconvene tomorrow.”

     The next day they were back in the training hall, away from the cold, blistering wind that wailed away outside.  Zarin, as usual, sat behind his desk, with Reno in the chair in front, though no longer binded to it.  Zarin knew that Reno was no threat.  And even if he did escape...where would he go?  Zarin still thought that Reno thought there was no shuttle on this planet, which was false.  Zarin had slipped and mentioned it before.  Leaving Reno untied was a mistake.  All he had to do was make his way to that shuttle, then he could make his way off this world and rejoin his people, his dream, his home...Sith Squadron.  But that would have to come later.  For now, he was busy.

     “I’d like to thank you,” Zarin said, to start off the day.

     “For what?” Reno spat out.

     “For showing me how much in err I was.  You see, I thought I had you figured out.  I thought you were just resisting me and being stubborn in not answering my questions about your past.  I thought it was a statement of defiance.  I understand now, though, thanks to you.  I understand that you have so suppressed your past that you aren’t sure what is real and what isn’t.  You’ve made up these lies to cover the truth so well that you believe them yourself.”

     “I haven’t lied about a thing,” Reno stated.  And he was telling the truth on that, too.  So far, everything he had told Zarin was the truth. 

     “From your point of view, perhaps.  But then, if you so truly believe a false version of history, does it not become true, if only to you?  Your memory of defeating me in combat...this lie you cling to as the truth...is not accurate.  But you have so convinced yourself that it happened, that it’s your truth.  And you have told me your truth, of that I have no doubt.

     “However, your truth isn’t the entire truth, and therefore, from that point of view, you have lied to me.  That said, so far that is your only lie.  Everything else you’ve told me about your past has been accurate.  And now that I look back on it, considering what I know now about how much you’ve suppressed, I’m surprise at how truthful your memories on those years are.  You should be commended.”

     “If my memories are as screwed up as you say, then how can you be so sure that what I’ve told you about my past has been the “entire truth”?”

     Zarin grinned.  “Because, my dear friend, Master Odium kept extensive files.  Files on high-ranking politicians, files on low ranking politicians, files on businessmen...and files on us.  Detailed files.”

     “Up until he died,” Reno shot in, sarcastically. 

     “Until you killed him,” Zarin amended.

     “I didn’t kill him,” Reno snapped back, leaning forward in his chair, “you did.”

     “I was there, Renn,” Zarin said coldly, also leaning in, so their faces were mere inches apart.  “I watched as Odium chose me to accompany him to the stars so we could wreak havoc, and I watched as you attacked him like the coward you are and killed him with a sneak attack.  Odium was a great man, and his blood, like so many others, is on your hands.”

     “I’m starting to think,” Reno said slowly, “that I’m not the one who is suppressing memories and truths here.  I was there, too, Zarin.  Odium chose me, not you.  You killed our master, and I made you pay the price for it. 

     Zarin was floored.  “You can’t honestly believe that,” he said incredulously.  “You can’t slay our master, and then lay the blame at my feet.”

     “I lay it on the feet of the one who was responsible for it.”

     “Then you are finally accepting blame?” Zarin asked.

     “I won’t accept blame for an act I did not commit.”

     For what seemed like an eternity they stared at each other, neither moving a muscle or even blinking.  He tried to guess what might be running through Zarin’s twisted head right now, but he came up empty.  He couldn’t even imagine what Zarin was thinking.  Some part of him didn’t want to.

     “I guess this is another example of two people going through the same event and thinking of it differently?” Reno asked.

     Zarin snapped back to the moment.  “Oh, no.  Not even.  This has nothing to do with a difference in the perception of an event, but is instead a difference in the actual occurrence of said event.  This isn’t about how we had different feelings on a test...this is about you murdering our master and then denying it.”

     “Strange, I thought it was the other way around.”

     “You think many things,” Zarin said, finally leaning back in his chair and breaking their eye contact.  “Few are true.  But that’s one of the reasons we’re here now, isn’t it?  To find out the truth.  To separate fact from fiction.  Your lies are just as much a reflection of who you are as the truth is.  Now then, we‘ve allowed ourselves to be distracted long enough.  Let us continue with where we left off.”

     “One second,” Reno interrupted.

     “Make it quick.”

     “You said Odium kept files on us...detailed ones.”

     Zarin nodded.  “Of course.  They cover our entire history, up until you....until his death.”   

     Reno paused for a long while.  “You know about my past, don’t you?  You know everything.”

     He nodded again.  “Yes.  More so than you do.”

     “Then why are we doing this?  If you know all the answers before you ask the questions, then what is the point?”

     “My dear Renn...we do this not for my benefit, but for yours.  I know everything.  I understand everything.  You still do not.  You are confused, lost, misguided.  You follow what you think are your dreams and your path and your destiny simply because you do not know better.  But soon, you will.  After we are finished, you will understand all.

     “Now...where did we leave off?  Ah, yes...Velku..."

     With his thoughts suddenly focused entirely on Velku, he was swallowed by the white.

* * * * * * * * * * * *     

    Renn was lucky to still be a Jedi Padawan.  That much he knew for certain.  It had been a year and a half since the incident with Chief Advisor Teton.  A year and a half since Renn had murdered him.  A year and a half since Master Doneeta had gone out of his way to save Renn from being exiled from the Jedi Order.  And while it had been an extremely difficult time for him, Renn felt, at least, that he had made much progress.  He was holding down his anger now, bottling it up so that none could see it.  He gave everyone the image that he was once again mentally healthy.  However, while he had made progress, Renn knew he wasn’t exactly mentally stable yet.  While he could control his anger better and bottle it up deep inside of him, he knew it was still there.  It was always there.  He feared it always would be there.

     Renn eagerly looked out the viewport as their Republic diplomatic ship traveled in the last leg of their hyperspace trip.  The eagerness built up inside of him, making his body shake slightly, making him antsy.  Normally he was always nervous and antsy, his restless energy always waiting to be released.  This time, though, he had good reason to be nervous. 

     There was a war going on, where he and Master Doneeta were headed.  Two factions had been engaged in a brutal war for almost two decades now.  For about twenty years, the Royal Family of Velku had fought against a rebel militia group calling themselves the People’s Liberation Army, or the PLA for short.  The two factions had declared a total war scenario against each other years ago.  No one was spared in the war.  The engagements were no longer reserved for only military units.  Very often, civilians were caught in the middle of military skirmishes.  Very often, the civilians themselves were the targets.  No one was safe on Velku.

     That was not why Renn was nervous.  Although he was only ten years of age, he had no fear of war or death.  He had seen too much in his short life to fear such things.  That was not why Renn was nervous. 

     Velku was a small, remote planet on the outskirts of the Republic.  Few had probably ever heard of it.  Renn was not in that few.  He had encountered the name “Velku” once before, a year and a half ago.  In his confrontation with Teton, the Chief Advisor had told Renn that a shuttle to Velku awaited them.  That was the first time he had heard of the place.  After the incident was over, and he was sure that he would not be exiled from the Order, he took the time to extensively research the planet of Velku.  He learned very few answers from his studying, which saddened him greatly.  He still had many questions left from that incident that his studies didn’t answer, such as who “Elim”, the man Teton said he worked for, was, not to mention why “Elim” wanted him anyway.  As well, Teton had seemed to slightly saddened by the fact that his father Gresko (who had mentioned Elim as his dying word) had tried to take him, and indicated that Gresko had not been working for “Elim”.  What this all meant, Renn had no idea.

     Of “Elim”, Renn had found nothing concrete.  There were countless people on Velku named “Elim”, and his search was made harder by the fact that he didn’t have a last name.  His attempts to cross-reference Teton’s history with anyone named Elim came up empty.  Whoever “Elim” was, he covered his tracks well. 

     That was why Renn was nervous.  For a year and a half he had searched for answers.  For a year and a half he had tormented himself and obsessed over them.  And now, after all that time, he was closer than ever. 

     Their ship lurched and rock as it came out of hyperspace.  He stared at the small green and blue globe in front of them.

     Somewhere down there were answers.  Somewhere down there was the truth.  And that, he thought as the ship dove down towards the planet, was the real reason he was nervous.  The truth, however liberating it might be, had an annoying knack of being painful. 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

     “Why did they send you?” Zarin asked him later, as he was explaining his latest memory to him.  “Why send a Master and a ten year old apprentice to such a hostile place when there were others who were far more capable of such a task?”

     Reno eyed him carefully. 

     “Surely you know,” he muttered mockingly.  “After all, you’ve read my file.”

     Zarin chuckled in response.  “That I have.  However, as I said earlier, this isn’t about me learning about your history, it’s about you re-learning it.  So why did they send you?”

     Reno hesitated before answering.  “We were specifically requested.”

     “By whom?”

     “The Royal Family of Velku.”

     “Now why would the Royal Family request the presence of a little known Jedi Master and his child apprentice?”

     “I don’t know,” he responded quickly, giving away his lie.

     “Yes, you do.  You had a connection to them.  What was it?”

     “I don’t remember.”

     Zarin gave his usual sigh of disappointment, though this time in it Reno sensed a bit of frustration.  “Why do you deny yourself this?  Why are you being stubborn?  The sooner you remember your past, the sooner you can remember yourself, and then...”

     “...you kill me?”

     Zarin didn’t miss a beat.  “Yes.  I make no excuses for what I will do.  What I must do.  You signed your death warrant ten years ago here during our duel.  And you know that.  Don‘t pretend to act so surprised or appalled.  You would do the same in my place.  Less, in fact.  You would not help me as much as I am helping you.  You, my dear friend, would simply kill me.”

     “As you deserve.”

     “I make no pretense about that.  Perhaps I do deserve death for my own crimes.  And when my day of judgment comes, I will stand tall and proud.  I will make no excuses for my actions, and I will stand by each one.  If the Force decides that I shall pay for my choices, then I shall pay.  Can you honestly say that you would do the same?”

     Reno had no response.

     “I wonder, then, which of us deserves death more.  We have both murdered in our time.  I would wager our death tolls are roughly the same.  Besides...after a certain amount, does the number even matter?  What is the difference between killing fifty and killing five hundred?  What about five hundred and five thousand?”

     “Is there a point to any of this?” Reno interrupted.

     Zarin leaned forward intently.  “There is a point to everything that we do here, Renn.  You would do well to remember that.”

     “Perhaps I would do well to not answer any more of your questions,” Reno shot back. 

     Reno was starting to get very annoyed at Zarin’s smug attitude.  He seemed so arrogant and pretentious, spouting off his philosophical crap like some holier-than-thou prick.  He was sounding like a twisted Jedi. 

     Well, he had had enough of Zarin’s attitude.  Of his smug superiority complex.  Of his twisted lies.  Of his insistence that Reno was lying about their duel.  Reno made the choice then and there that Zarin was not going to get anything more out of him.  If Zarin took away his rations or bed or blanket, then so be it.  Reno was going to die soon anyway.  What did it matter if it was sooner rather than later? 

     Zarin saw him make the choice, too, as their eyes locked.  Zarin knew that he wasn’t going to get any more information out of Reno right now.  If ever again. 

     “Are you sure you want to do this?” Zarin asked. 

     In an act of defiance, Reno didn’t even acknowledge his question with a response.

     Zarin nodded his head slowly.  “Very well, then.  So be it.  I am sorry for what must be done next, though.  Know that it was not how I wanted this to go down.  You brought this upon yourself.  Goodnight, Renn.  You may have free run of this building for the night.  Know that it is locked down very securely.  There is no point in attempting to escape.  I shall return in the morning, and then...things change.”

     With those final words, he left.  He left both the building, and left Reno wondering exactly what his cryptic final message meant.

    The following morning, Zarin stormed into the training hall as Reno awoke to the sound of a door being kicked open.  Reno didn’t know for certain why Zarin was so furious, but he had a pretty good idea.  Last night, as their eyes locked, Zarin knew that Reno would tell him nothing more.  He saw that Reno had made the choice that he would die before he told him anything.  Zarin knew that his plan was starting to crumble and fall apart.  And that was enough reason to be in a foul mood.

     He stalked past Reno and moved behind the desk but, for once, didn’t sit.  Reno saw in his hands three objects, all of which he recognized. First was the small lizard-like creature that was attached to some kind of nutrient frame.  He had seen creatures like it before, on the Terror of Space, right before he had been capture.  Several human soldiers had been wearing them on their backs.  At the time he had no idea why.  He still didn’t.  The other two objects he instantly recognized: lightsabers.

     “No ’good morning’?” he asked as he looked up at Zarin.  Reno could feel his spirit rising as Zarin snarled at the remark.  Seeing Zarin failing, seeing Reno get to him was making Reno feel like he still had some strength left, like he could still win this war.  If he could bait Zarin on such petty little remarks, then he stood a chance of making Zarin get angry, and once he was angry, he would get sloppy.  And once he made his mistake, Reno could escape, steal Zarin’s shuttle, and leave him to die on this ice rock for a second time.  All he had to do was bait Zarin into making an error...

     Surprisingly, Zarin then smiled.

     “Yes, it will be a good morning,” he said, a hint of satisfaction creeping into deep voice.  “For it will be the last morning that you will ever see.”

     “Does that mean you’re giving up in your quest to help me find myself?”

     “I didn’t give up on that,” Zarin put in, “you did.  But yes, we are finished.  Since you do not seem to appreciate the lengths I go to help you, I no longer desire to help you.  I have no interest in having you relive your past and even less in hearing about it. I tried to help, you rejected my help, end of story.”

     “Then today we finish it?”

     “Today,” Zarin agreed, “we finish it.”

     “It ends?  Here, today, right now?”

     “It has already begun.  This,” he said, pointing to the small creature on the nutrient frame, “is a ysalamiri.  It has the ability to create a bubble to push back the Force.  It is this that has been keeping us from feeling the Force.  As long as it lives and we are near it, we cannot feel the Force.”

     So that was how Zarin had done it. 

     Interesting little creature, he thought to himself.  I’ll have to find out where to get some.  They could come in handy in the future.  Assuming I live through today and have a future. 

     Although now he understood why he hadn’t been able to feel the Force the last few days, he was still confused as to why Zarin had brought the creature out in the open, and let alone told him about it.  It didn’t make any sense.  It-

     Suddenly, Zarin reached out, grabbed the small creature by the throat, and snapped its neck.  With the creature dead, its anti-Force bubble evaporated and with a sudden rush, he felt the Force again.  It flowed through his body, like waves washing over a rock on the shore.  It was like being able to see again.  He hadn’t realized how much he had become used to and dependent upon the Force.  It was like a drug. 

     Reno grinned and, for the first time in what seemed like years, it was a grin that carried with it joy.  Now he understood.  He wanted a fair fight.  Just Reno and Zarin.  No anti-Force creatures, no Xanthis, no Jace, no droids, no anything.  Nothing but him and Zarin.  Like it was ten years ago.    

     “Well then...let’s do it to it.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

     It was colder than it was the last time he was allowed outside by Zarin.  The wind had picked up, and the sky was now dark, covered by gray clouds.  Flakes of snow lightly blew in the wind, though not enough to make visibility challenging.  The conditions were very similar to the last time they dueled.

     Zarin walked to the middle of the courtyard and turned to face him.  Reno did the same, but stood about twenty feet away from him.  From his robes, Reno produced a lightsaber.  Reno recognized it instantly as his own.  Well, one of his.  Reno had two lightsabers with blades as red as blood, and when connected at the hilt, they formed a wicked double-bladed saber with an acid-yellow blade.  Where his other saber was, Reno did not know.  With his face blank and expressionless, Zarin chucked the lightsaber towards Reno across the yard.  It landed in the snow a foot in front of him.  Reno bent down slightly and picked up his saber, letting his fingers run across its handle.  It had been weeks and weeks since he had held his weapon.  The last time his saber had graced his hand was aboard the Terror of Space, as he slashed his way through Zarin’s battle droids.  That incident had, of course, led to his current situation.

     From the other side of his waist, Zarin produced another lightsaber.  This time it was his own.  It wasn’t very intricately designed, as Reno’s handle was.  It had no creativity or flair to it at all.  It was just a cold, mean looking metal handle, very telling of the man who created it. 

     Zarin’s lack of creativity was one of the reasons that Odium had chosen Reno, he had always felt.  The man had no flair for dramatics or tactical planning.  He was excellent in combat, but that was about it.  When it came to planning and subtlety, Zarin just hadn’t had a knack for it.  Perhaps he had learned a little since then, but at the time of the Choosing, he had been very naive and followed blindly.  A lot like Jace, now that he stopped to think about it.  Cold, emotionless, uncreative and unwilling to compromise or change plans.  Yes...Zarin and Jace did share many similarities at their respective points of training.  Interesting.

     “Are you ready?” Zarin called out, his lightsaber ready in his hand, though not yet activated.

     “Are you?” he called back.

     Zarin gave him an unsettling smile.  “I’ve been ready for ten years, Renn.  I could not possibly be more so.”

     “Let’s end this, then,” Reno said, igniting his blood-red lightsaber.  It felt good to have it in his hand again, humming with its destructive energy.

     “Yes.  Let’s.”

     With those final words, he ignited his own lightsaber, the blade a deep shade of red, only a slightly darker hue that’s Reno’s.  They stood and faced each other, neither moving for a long while.  Snowflakes sizzled as they hit his blade, melting and evaporating. 

     He waited.

     Reno’s heart was pounding with exhilaration.  He hadn’t been in a duel...a real duel...in what seemed like forever.  He had slaughtered some Ewoks and Gungans and had hacked apart some battle droids, but he hadn’t been involved in saber-to-saber fighting for a while.  He hoped he didn’t suck at it.  His life depended on it.

     Without warning, Zarin charged.

     Reno raised his own saber and charged as well

     Their sabers clashed with a mighty hiss and they spent the initial seconds of their duel locked together.  Both pushed, trying to overpower the other.  Neither succeeded.  They pushed away, but wasted no time in returning to their attacks.  Reno swung his saber wildly, hoping to get lucky and take off Zarin’s head.  He, of course, had no such luck.  Zarin blocked each of his shots easily.

     The next few minutes were lost in a haze of swings, blocks and counter attacks.  He didn’t know how he continued to survive in the duel.  His attacks were weak and undisciplined, his strength was fading, his endurance was declining.  Soon, he knew, he would be dead.  Zarin was just too good for him.  For weeks Reno had been malnourished, had little sleep, and had been tortured.  He was in a horrible physical and mental condition.  Certainly no condition to be engaging in lightsaber duels.  There was no way he could win.  Especially not against Zarin, who was physically stronger than Reno even if he hadn’t been tortured for two weeks.  There was no way he could win.  Zarin knew that.  Reno knew that.  Why did he continue to let Reno live?

     They continued to duel.

     Reno begin to tire and his hits became less and less controlled.  There was no longer any structure to his attacks.  They were just desperate swings and even more desperate blocks.  He was breathing hard now, gasping for breath.  He hadn’t done anything physical for weeks, his muscles had begun to atrophy.  He was out of shape.  He was tired.  He was going to die.

     Reno knew that if he continued to fight Zarin, he would die.  There was no way around that.  Instead of fighting he was going to have to flee.  To run.  It was his only way to survive.  He had to somehow slip out of Zarin’s grasp and run for it.  But run where?  There was a shuttle here somewhere, maybe he could find that?  No, he wasn’t going to have the time to search the compound for a shuttle.  He was just going to have to slip away and run to the mountains.  To the wild unknown.  There was nothing out there, though.  No cities, no shuttles, no life whatsoever, and no chance of surviving.  But really, did he have more of a chance of surviving if he stayed here?

     Which meant he now had to find a way to escape this duel and run.  That was easier said that done.  He tried to think as he parried some of Zarin’s shots.  The front gate was off to his left.  That would be his best chance to leave.  There was no point in hiding somewhere in the complex, as Zarin knew every inch of it, every hiding spot.  And the surrounding wall was twenty feet high, which meant he wasn’t climbing over it any time soon.  That meant his only chance of escape was the front gate, which was of course closed.  And locked.  Of course...he had in his hand a nifty little lock pick that happened to be able to cut through most every material around.  He didn’t think that the security gate, locked or no, would prove to be difficult at all.

     But now came the problem of getting out.  He didn’t trust his ability to disable or disarm Zarin with his lightsaber.  He just didn’t have it in him.  He had to think of a way to outsmart him.  To outthink him.  He had to buy some time, to stall him.  He had to surprise and shock him.  It was the only thing that could buy Reno some time.

     So, to that end, in the middle of a lightsaber duel, while Zarin was starting a swing, Reno turned off his lightsaber. 

     He was putting a lot of confidence in the assumption that this move would surprise Zarin so much that he would stop his swing.  If, perhaps, it didn’t, then he wasn’t going to live long enough to regret his decision.  But, on the plus side, at least he would be dead, and out of this nightmare.

     His gamble paid off when Zarin brought his lightsaber down upon Reno only to stop inches from his head.

     “What are you doing?” his raspy voice said.  “Fight!”

     “No,” Reno simply said back.

     “Fight, or I will kill you where you stand.”

     “You’ll kill me anyway,” Reno said back.  “You know I can’t beat you right now.  There’s no point to prolonging this, other than to let you kill me in combat.  That way you can claim you killed me honorably in battle, instead of murdering me like a coward.  I won’t give you that satisfaction.  You wanna kill me, then do it.  Just stop wasting both of our time.”

     With those words, he tossed his lightsaber behind him, though he made a mental note of where he threw it.

     “I must say,” Zarin said slowly, while pacing in front of him like a predator, “I am a bit surprised.  I figured you braver than this, Renn.  Trying to weasel your way out of death.  What kind of man are you?  What kind of Sith?”

     “I’m not trying to weasel out of anything,” he said with a straight face as he lied.  “You said before that on your day of judgment you would stand by each decision you made and that if the Force decides it is time for you to pay for them, then you will pay.  Well, this is my judgment day, isn’t it?  This is where I pay for my crimes.  You asked if I would do the same.  I hope your question has answered.”

     There was a long silence as Zarin examined Reno carefully, his eyes narrowing to slits.  “Why does it figure,” he started, “that the day of your death, you finally begin to make a little progress, that you finally begin to understand a little bit?  Better late than never, I suppose, eh?  Perhaps...I should not kill you yet.  If you truly have made progress, then it would be a shame to kill you now.  I would hate for all my work to have been for not, just as you showed improvement.”

     Reno almost couldn’t believe he was getting away with this, that Zarin might decide to spare him for another day.  He had thought his plan doomed to failure.  Perhaps it wasn’t so stupid after all.  No, he decided, it was still a very stupid plan.  It just happened to be a stupid plan that was working.

     “So be it,” Zarin suddenly said.  “I believe I shall spare you another day.  We shall return to the hall and resume where we left off.  If I am not satisfied with your progress by the end of the day, though, I will kill you.  No duels, no honor, no combat...just your death.  Do you understand?”

     Reno nodded.

     What I understand, he thought to himself, is that in another minute I’ll be out of this compound and away from your grasp...

     Zarin turned his lightsaber off and clipped it back to his belt.  He grabbed Reno by the neck and started to push him back towards the great hall. He had to make his move soon, before he reached the hall.  Over behind him, still in the snow, sat his lightsaber.  It had been so long since he had used the Force to grab anything, and in his weakened state he wasn’t sure he could do it.  He was going to have to try, though.  If he didn’t, he wasn’t going to survive the next day.

     They approached the doors to the hall.  It was now or never. 

     With all the strength he could muster, he turned around, placed his hands against Zarin’s chest and shoved him backwards.  The bigger man didn’t fall over, but he did stumble back a few feet.  Reno turned and looked at his lightsaber, stretching out his hand.  He focused his mind and tried to clear it, to recall his lightsaber to his hand.  If he couldn’t get it there, and quickly, then he would die.

     The lightsaber did not move.

     It didn’t even tremble or shake slightly.  He just didn’t have the power to move it.  He tried again, putting all of his will into it.  He tried to focus on how much he needed it, how he could only survive with it.  He thought about how it was an extension of his hand and how it belonged there, hoping that would bring it to him.

     The lightsaber still did not move.

     Zarin had regained his balance and was staring at Reno’s lightsaber.  He frowned.  Zarin realized what Reno was trying to do.  He was going to stop him.  Zarin charged, though he didn’t bother to reach for his lightsaber.  They both knew it wasn’t necessary.  Zarin could strangle him just as easily.  Reno tried one last time to call for his saber, putting every last bit of strength and effort and will power into it that he could.

     And miraculously, the lightsaber moved.

     And it didn’t just move, it shot out of the snow and towards Reno like a bullet.  He prepared to catch it, his arm outstretched, his palm wide open, waiting for the weapon.  If he could just get it and turn it on before Zarin reached him, he could cut him down and end this all.  It was a race now, between Zarin and the lightsaber.  Whoever got there first would decide the winner.  If Reno got the lightsaber first, he could cut down Zarin.  If Zarin got to him first, he could kill Reno without any trouble at all.  It was a race...

     ...and Zarin won.  But only barely, as the lightsaber arrived not even a second after him.  Unfortunately, instead of going for his throat like he thought Zarin would, he grabbed Reno’s outstretched hand and pulled it away, leaving nothing there to catch the oncoming lightsaber. 

     So, instead, he caught it with the side of his head.  Or, rather, it caught him.

     It was such an embarrassing move that for a second he thought he might be related to Seven, as it was exactly the kind of stupid thing he would do. 

     Worse than the embarrassment, though, was the pain, as the lightsaber had hit him directly on his right temple, smashing into the engramatic interociter that was still attached to him.  As if getting hit in the head with your own lightsaber hilt wasn’t bad enough, now he had the pain of the machine to deal with.  He wasn’t sure if it was malfunctioning or not, but sharp pains were now present, making his head twitch slightly. 

     He had to get to his lightsaber...

     He and Zarin struggled now, each trying to overpower the other.  It wasn’t really a contest, as Zarin could’ve physically overpowered him even if Reno were in the best of physical conditions.  Zarin pushed Reno straight to the ground and wrapped his hands around Reno’s throat.  His eyes were almost bulging out of their sockets with rage, and Reno knew that he had only seconds to act. 

     He grabbed Zarin’s elbows, twisted slightly to the outside and pushed upwards, forcing him to lose his grip.  He placed his feet on Zarin’s chest and shoved with all of his might, somehow having enough power to push Zarin completely off, throwing him off balance.  This time, luckily, he didn’t need the Force to grab his lightsaber, as it lay on the ground next to him.  Without wasting any time, he grabbed the hilt and ignited the blade, bathing the surrounding area in its crimson glow.  Likewise, above him, Zarin had ignited his own saber, the red light playing evilly off of his rage-filled face. 

     In a last ditch effort, Reno swung low at Zarin’s leg.

     Zarin was quick, though, and the lightsaber didn’t hit him fully.  Instead, it just made a huge gash right above Zarin’s right leg.  No blood spilled from the wound, though, as the lightsaber’s intense heat cauterized the wound instantly.  Reno could see the damaged tissue from the wound, and actually see down to the bone of his leg.  Zarin screamed in pain and dropped his saber, which deactivated once out of his hand.  His hands clutched his fresh wound.  He fell back a few yards and landed in the snow.

     On a better day, in better conditions, he would take this advantage to eliminate Zarin once and for all.  Today was not that day.  He couldn’t take the chance that Zarin wouldn’t push the pain back long enough to kill him.  He had to escape and it had to be now.  He pushed himself up and sprinted the best he could for the main gate.  It was hard to run in the snow, as his feet sunk in deep with every step he took.  Yet the alternative to running was not very pleasant, so he continued. 

     The main gate was, as he predicted, locked tight.  Yet as big and thick was it was, it was no match for the galaxy’s best lock pick, and within a matter of seconds Reno had carved himself a nice little hole at the base of the door.  Without hesitation, he crawled through the hole, leaving Zarin lying in the snow, yelling and screaming in pain. 

     The outside was exactly as he had remembered it.  A huge mountainous range, covered completely in snow.  The gray clouds and dark sky added nicely to the ominous feeling he had in his gut. 

     Going out here was suicide, he thought to himself, but then, so was staying behind.

     He ran to the fork in the road that was immediately outside the main gate.  If he recalled correctly, the right path would take him up the road to Mt. Procyon.  That was the same road where he and Zarin had dueled ten years ago.  Where he had bested Zarin in their duel and thrown him over the edge of the mountain.  Despite that, though, for some reason he didn’t want to go down there.  Instead, he took the left path, which careened off into the smaller mountain paths below Mt. Procyon.          

     As he ran, he thought back to the final moments of their duel.  The gash on Zarin’s right leg.  He could see through to the exposed tissue and bone.  How could that be?  It wasn’t possible.  It just wasn’t.  He remembered the incident from their last duel as if it were yesterday.  It was burned into his memory.  Ten years ago he and Zarin had been fighting.  Zarin was caught off guard and Reno had swiped low and cut off Zarin’s leg right above the knee.  The cut Reno just made should’ve hit a prosthetic robotic leg, not flesh and bone.  He should’ve seen exposed circuits and metal, not flesh, blood and bone.  He didn’t understand.  He was getting used to that by now, though.

     He continued to run.  For minutes or hours, he didn’t know.  He just ran.  He didn’t know if Zarin was chasing him or not, but considering his new wound, Reno couldn’t imagine it.  That gash in Zarin’s leg would have to be healed.  At the least he would need a bacta patch over it, and Reno didn’t even know if there were any here.  He couldn’t feel any other sentient presences, so he didn’t think anyone else was on the planet. Other pursuit probably wasn’t even an option.  But then, Zarin did have an extensive droid army.  If any droids were in the vicinity, he wouldn’t sense them.  That was a definite possibility.  However, Zarin did want this to be between him and Reno.  He probably wouldn’t order the droids to pursue him.  Probably.

     He ran. 

     It was the most he had run since...

     He waited for the now familiar white flash to overtake him, followed by a reliving of his past, but it didn’t come.  He didn’t understand.  Every other time he had thought about something from his past, the engramatic interociters had sent him spiraling back to see it again.  Why didn’t it this time?

     He was getting tired.  His body wasn’t used to this kind of physical exertion anymore.  He was weak and tired.  He wanted to rest.  To sleep.  To die. 

     Reno fell to his knees and inwardly he smiled.  Perhaps this was it, he thought, perhaps he was finally being rewarded with death.  He looked out at the vast mountains ahead of him and took in the beautiful view, hoping it was the last thing he ever saw in his life.  Perhaps if the last thing in his life was something beautiful, he could forget all of the ugly and focus only on that as he passed over...

     But as he begin to slip, he realized that there was far too much ugly in his life for the beauty to ever win.  He was just glad that this was the end.  He had spent far too much time in this galaxy anyway.  Far more than he should’ve, or deserved. 

     He fell face first in the snow, his skin so numb now that he didn’t even feel the cold.

     Things started to darken around him, and the view started to fade.  The brightness of the snow started to dim as his eyelids closed.  It was time.  He knew  He had been born in light, lived in shadow, and finally, he would die in darkness.

     He was just glad that he was finally going to die.