#$%^ it! You read it. Young ones these days!

Chances are, if you're reading this, that you're interested in joining
The Long Patrol. You've heard that Salamandastron hares are noble, that
we are great fighters, and that we're always on our best behaviour. In
that case, you've heard about the Long Patrol, not the Salamandastron
Defensive Reserve.

Most of us with the SDR prefer it to the Long Patrol because we almost
never get called for action - I've only seen a few missions, most of
them minor. All we need to do is assist the Long Patrol in major
defensives (rare) and protect the mountain while they're away. It's when
the badgers are away when being in the SDR is at it's best. When the
badger is away, the hares can play...

Let me give you an idea of how the SDR was formed. The following are top
secret, never before seen Salamandastron Secret Memos. I'm not supposed
to have access to them, but I have my ways...

To: Colonel Eyebright
From: Lady Cregga
Security status: Eyes only
I have determined that our equipement is sufficient for an assault on
Gormad Tunn's forces. How are our hares doing? I know you raised our
numbers again with all those recruiting teams, but how skilled are all
these hares?

To: Lady Cregga
From: Colonel Eyebright
Security status: Eyes only
Marm, our hares are in top notch crack shape. They are at absolute bally
limit of armed forces preparedness.

To: Colonel Eyebright
From: Sergeant Clubrush
Security status: Eyes only
WTF Colonel?! Haven't you read any of my reports? Many of our hares are
total greens! I can only give you about four hundred skilled hares, and
you want five hundred for both offensive and defensive purposes?

To: Sergeant Clubrush
From: Colonel Eyebright
Security status: Eyes only
Oops... just send the four hundred best to Cregga and I'll keep the five
hundred worst here. We'll give them an official sounding name like the
Salamandastron Defense Reserve. Give the other one hundred lots of extra
training, okay?

To: Colonel Eyebright
From: Sergeant Clubrush
Security status: Eyes only
Okay, but you'll need to do tonight's training... I have a important
date tonight, and after not telling your wife about when I caught you
and Captain what's-her-name in the cellars, you owe me.

So there you have it - the SDR. This story is about the first time the
SDR was assigned to protect the mountain. It's a different kind of army.
And this is a different kind of war story.

P.S. Please don't tell any of the commanding officiers that I wrote
this.

~Leiutenant Barry Mauser, Salamandastron Defense Reserve