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Vivaah (Marriage)

Marriage is the most important, sacred and essential Sanskaar in Hinduism. By this Sanskaar people enter the Grihasth Aashram which is the most important Aashram in a human being's life. All other three Aashram depend on this Aashram only. Devtaa get their food from this Aashram only.

According to Manu Smriti marriage ceremony is a Yagya (a serious act to please God). According to Shatapath Braahman, a man and a woman are complete only when they have found each other. During the Vaidik age, the age of marriage for a man was around 24 years, and for a woman it was somewhat a little less. During these years they had the opportunity to find each other, if yes, it was called Gaandharv Vivaah. (see below "Types of Vivaah). In royal families, there was a practice of Swayamvar, where the men desirous to marry the girl will gather on an appointed date; and the girl had the right to choose her husband. During the Vaidik age, the widow was not only permitted to marry but was encouraged - see 10-18-8 of Rig Ved and 9-5-27 of Atharv Ved.

With the invasions of Muslims, the things changed and the boys and girls were not allowed to meet each other and the marriages were settled by parents. The schooling of girls also vanished after the age of 10 or so. This situation lasted until the mid 20th century and the criteria for both boy and girl changed. Wealth and caste became a big consideration. Engagement ceremony became an important part of the sacrament. A month to 2 years elapsed between the date of engagement and actual marriage. Until 1955, divorce was not allowed in the Hindoo society. The woman became dependent on her husband and in many instances had to suffer humiliation and inhuman treatment from the husband.

Many Grihya Sootra were written during this period in which marriage was described in detail, but most of them were very similar. Hindoo marriage ceremony followed these Sootra written during 600-200 BC consisting of - (1) Varamaalaa - placing a garland around the neck of each other; (2) invocation by the Priest; (3) worship by the parents of the girl; (4) Kanyaa Daan - giving away of the girl by girl's parents; (5) Paanigrahan - boy and the girl accepting each other by holding the hand of each other; (6) Granthi Bandhan - tying the knot between their clothes; (7) Parinaya - circumambulation of sacred fire several times, minimum 3 times and maximum 7 times; (8) marriage vows; (9) Saptpadee - seven prayers by the new family; (10) Saubhaagyinee - putting vermillion in the hair parting of the girl by the boy; (11) placing Mangalsootra around the neck of the girl to wish her all the fortune; and lastly (12) Mangalaacharan - benediction by all present.

Rig Ved and Atharv Ved are the major sources of the Mantra used for marriage ceremony. When everything else is found satisfactory the horoscopes are compared and many possible relationships are abandoned if they do not match. Even these marriages take place on certain days of the year.
[Aangiras, p 340-342]

Types of Vivaah

(Bhavishya Puraan, 23) There are eight types of marriages :--

(1) Braahma Vivaah -  to invite a noble man himself, to adorn him with ornaments and worship him, and to offer one's daughter to him is called Braahm Vivaah.

(2) Daiv Vivaah - When people are doing Yagya together, to offer one's daughter to such a Braahman is called Daiv Vivaah.

(3) Aarsh Vivaah - Taking one or two couples cow and bull from the groom for the purpose of Dharm and marrying one's daughter to him is called Aarsh Vivaah.

(4) Praajaapatya Vivaah - "You follow Graihasth Dharm living together", when after saying such words one offers his daughter after worshipping the groom, that is called Praajaapatya Vivaah.

(5) Aasur Vivaah - When a marriage is performed freely after giving enough wealth to bride and her father, that is called Aasur or Aasuree Vivaah.

(6) Gaandharv Vivaah - Whatever Vivaah is performed with the free will of bride and groom, that is called Gaandharv Vivaah.

(7) Raakshas Vivaah - To bring a cried woman beating her cruelly for marriage is called Raakshas Vivaah.

(8) Paishaach Vivaah - To abduct a sleeping, drunk, or mad woman for marriage is called Paishaach Vivaah.

There are other types of marriages also ----

(1) Pratilom Vivaah - When a lower Varn boy marries a higher Varn girl, it is called Pratilom Vivaah. Typical examples of Pratilom Vivaah are of King Yayaati who married Shukraachaarya's daughter Devayaanee; King Asang married to Angiras Muni's daughter Shashavatee. But in due course of time this type of Vivaah stopped completely, but Anulom Vivaah continued for some time more. (see below under "Anulom Vivaah")

(2) Putrikaa Dharm Vivaah - In this type of Vivaah, the parents marry their daughter with the condition that her first son will be their son. It normally happens when the parents don't have a son, but it can happen otherwise also. Manu married his daughter Aakooti to Ruchi Prajaapati according to this Dharm and thus had her son as his own son, although he had already had two sons of his own. 

(3) Anulom Vivaah - When a higher Varn man marries a lower Varn woman, it is called Anulom Vivaah. Typical examples of Anulom Vivaah in our scriptures are of Kardam Rishi who married King Priyavrat's daughter Devahooti; Bhrigu's son Rishi Chyavan who married Sharyaati's daughter Sukanyaa; Rishi Rishyashring who married to King Rompaad's daughter Shaantaa. This type of Vivaah also came to cease by MBH times. The last such Vivaah seems to be between Braahman King Agnimitra and Kshatriya daughter Maalvikaa. (Kaalidaas has written "Maalvikaagnimitra" based on their love story)

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