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Baptism: Kid Style
My grandfather was an od time minister and loved to tell about when he came home and heard voices singing, "Shall We Gather At The River". He tip-toed along the hedge fence until he could see where it came from.

A dozen of his grandchildren were sitting by the small pool in the backyard and one grandson was standing in the pool getting ready to baptie one of his cousins. In an almost perfect imitation of his grandfather, he asked, "Do you confess you sins?"
"I do." replied the cousin. "Then," said the grandson, "I baptize thee in the name of the Father and of the Son and into the hole-ye-go."

a cat


a cat


a cat

The Cat Who Died and Went To Heaven

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord waiting to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased, We don't have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things simce you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"


Children of Israel

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Mr. Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period. "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."
"What's that, Joey?" aske Mr. Goldblatt.
"Well, accordin' to the Bible, the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea. Right?"
"Right."
"And the Children of Israil beat up the Philistines, right?"
"Ahhh-right."
"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again, you're right."
"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptions, and Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Isreal were always doin' somethin' important. Right?"
"All that is right, too." agreed Mr. Goldblatt. "So, what's your question?"
"What I wanna know is this," demended Joey. "What were all the grown-ups doin'?"


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