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Doughboy ~ Dead at 71
It is with a heavy heart I pass on the following:
Please join me in remembering a great icon - the
veteran Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection and complications from repeated pokes in the
belly.
He was 71 years old. Doughboy was buried in a
lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their
respects, including :
- Mrs. Butterworth,
- Hungry Jack,
- the California Raisins,
- Betty Crocker,
- the Hostess Twinkies, and
- Captain Crunch.
The graveside was piled high with flours. As a
longtime friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy,
describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much
he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his
later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his
dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he even
still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll
model for millions...
Toward the end it was thought he would rise again,
but alas, he was no tart...
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two
children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one
in the oven.
He also had a lazy brother, No Dough and a prudish
unmarried Aunt Sour Dough.
He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop
Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20
minutes...
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