|
|
|
A couple was getting a divorce and was in a heated custody battle over their son. Not knowing who to side with, the judge thought it might be a good idea to ask the boy how he felt about the whole thing and let him decide who he wanted to live with. So he did. "Would you like to live with your Mommy or your Daddy?" asked the judge. "Well, I don't want to live with my Daddy, because he beats me when he gets angry," said the boy. "That's not good," said the judge. "But I also don't want to live with my Mommy, because she beats me when she gets drunk," said the boy. "That's not good either," said the judge. "So if you don't want to live with your Mommy or your Daddy, who do you want to live with?" Well, I'd like to live at USC," replies the boy. "Why is that?" said the judge. "Because they can't beat anybody," answered the boy.
1. Did you hear South Carolina is changing its mascot? THEY'RE CHANGING TO THE OPPOSUMS BECAUSE THEY PLAY DEAD AT HOME AND GET KILLED ON THE ROAD.
2. What's the only sign of intelligence in Columbia, South Carolina? CLEMSON 130 MILES.
3. How do you get from Clemson to USC? GO SOUTH 'TIL YOU SMELL IT, THEN EAST 'TIL YOU STEP IN IT. OR, FAIL OUT OF CLEMSON.
4. Why do Carolina fans eat their cereal in a cup? BECAUSE THEY CAN'T GET A BOWL.
5. A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear an USC joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I'm a USC graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a USC graduate. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a USC graduate. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" THE FIRST GUY REPLIES: "NAW, NOT IF I'M GONNA HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT THREE TIMES."
|
|