picture by Jupiter
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I'm back, baby!
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I haven’t been writing in awhile and I really have no excuse. I always thought I would write more when I was miserable or in trouble but apparently that’s not the case. I’ve started writing a few things but they’ve turned out either whiny or angry or incomprehensible or, most frequently, all of it combined.
This is not to say that the good fun stuff has not been going on. Of course it has: The anti-Valentine’s day weekend where I went to Tartu, stayed with Bryan. We spent the Friday night (or actually it was more of a Saturday morning) coming up with the plot of a soap opera and made everyone listen and learn it on the Saturday night party. [The plot, by the way, so needs to be documented. It’s irrefutable proof that we have a definite career in the Latin-American soap opera industry]. That was also the weekend where a kinda-sorta ex tried to get me to bed and finally made me realize that I’ve actually grown up a little, at least the parts of my brain previously concerned with him have taken a huge leap forward. There was also Rogelio’s birthday party where we talked a lot of crap I wanted to memorize but never got around to writing down. That was the party where the picture of Ricardo trying to (for some obscure reason) assault me was taken. The party where we went to Panoraam [the site seems to be only in Estonian], saw and danced to Smilers and where Rogelio tried to get us killed afterwards by making us walk the most out-of-the-way-streets imaginable. And then there was Steven’s birthday party where we admired their new cat, ate delicious homemade sushi and drank huge quantities of wine. We (I went there with Kelly) were complimented when the wine we got as a gift was placed into the “good wine” rack and not immediately drunk. Well, either it was a compliment to our superior wine knowledge or it was such a crappy wine that Steven thought nobody should be subjected to it. I’m torn between the two choices. And there was a weekend where Kristjan came to visit while I was home sick, so he brought me food and I got him drunk on wine (which just proves that university students can’t really drink because…. 2 glasses of wine! Who gets drunk on that? Oh, I’m alone in considering this a small amount of wine? OK then!) And even more recently, Chris came back from Munich, for good this time, and I couldn’t be happier because I really missed her. We had the ‘welcome back’ pancakes at my place and the ‘welcome back’ drinks a few days later at my new favourite pub (They let pets in! Seriously! How cool is that?) which is, incidentally, possibly the cheapest pub in Tallinn. There have also been countless drinks and cinema visits and concerts and just fun with friends like Megan and Ellie where we just sit around and look at my screensaver. You’d never think that was much fun but it is when you’re with the right people! As you can see it hasn’t really been a miserable time. It’s been a fun busy kind of time, at least the non-work portions of it. In the immortal words of Hamlet “Aye, there’s the rub!” Work has been the problem weighing on my mind, the thing that doesn’t let me enjoy every day, the stress I blame for my ongoing mild illness. Work, in short, is a mess! I can’t really go into the details because everything is not finalized and I don’t think anyone has a clear idea concerning the proceedings but the problem is one word beginning with ‘bank’ and ending in ‘rupcy’. I’m hoping that my income is not in much danger since we say it coming and took some precautions but it is a mess – a big mess. And I can’t even keep my optimistic attitude about it since the process itself is awful and dedicated to making everyone involved feel bad about the outcome. So that is the reason I haven’t been posting anything. I don’t like whining, I don’t appreciate being miserable and I definitely do not want to store my current fluctuating emotions for posterity. Today is the first day I’m feeling even remotely OK about. I get to keep the Hellhole (I was actually worried about having to sell it) and when the company goes bankrupt I still get a valuable experience out of it – an experience stating that to the rest of the Western World Estonia is still a backwards post-Soviet country with ineffectual laws and people you can screw over with no penalties. And the worst thing is, it seems to be partially true – not the bit about the laws but the people here are most certainly being walked over. Apparently we’re just not ready for the ultra-capitalism yet!
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