1. "Hey Debs, have ya washed me boxers?"
"Which ones?"
"U'Know the green ones............(Raises his voice, as Debs is
confused and silent) WITH THE GOLD TRIM!"
Roys joke about the Sex Shop, which he made up himself:
2."Now I went to the ode Private Shop the other day, why they call it
that God only knows, but anyway, I stepped inside and noticed that the
lighting t'was as poor as the Baseball Ground back in the old cold winter
of '92. anyway among the darkness, I looked across the dark room from
the corner of me curious eye and I saw a blow up sheep, I say a blow up
sheep........now, I cannyer understand what folk want with a blow up
sheep when the old green hills of Yonda are full of the bleeding things"
3.Roy Throws a conker that hits a little 11year old girl in the face,
at short range, who was just walking casually minding her own business,
as she bursts into tears Roy goes over and says:
"Oh so sorry Duck, didn't mean to hit you, i wern't aiming for anyone
inparticular. Look please don't tell me teacher please.....tell ya what,
i'll buy you one of those bloomin gorgous fish cobs from the old canteen........
can't be no farer than that can I?"
4. When Roy asks out a Bosnian who can't speak much English
"So errrr do you wanna go out with me?"
The Bosnian who can't speak english "What, you want to ride my Bike?"
"Nah Nah, I dunna ride the bike, I wanna Ride you dunt I"
5. "Folk like to talk do Folk"
6. As Roy Puts away the biscuits, he had been proudly chomping on he says:
"I'm Saving these for Ron and Tom"
"Who Roy?"
"Later on, and Tommorow........ get it, LateRON and TOMmorow......arrr forget it!!"
7. "I had abit of an ode flutter at ye old bookies the other day Jim, and me ode 'orse didn't come in, I say didn't come in... thats 2pounds down the ruddy toilet, i say 2pounds down the ruddy toilet, I'll tell you someut for nowt........I couldn't bloody tip a waiter, nevermind an horse"
8. Roy loses £10 at cards, oviuosly he is devastated, but ROY dosn't want to show his emotion
so instead he does this:
"Oh well (long Pause), guess I (Pause) betta take another swig of (pause)
the old pint"
9. Everytime Roy walks past a Resterauts that does a good deal on Steaks:
"You canna Grumble at that, I say ya canna grumble at that"
10. "What's the Beef Patrick?...get it....Patrick Burger....Beef Burger....awww Forget it!!!"
11.**NOTE** I Know it was supposed to be a Top Ten, but this one is to good
to go in the B List....
Roy Trys to Communicate with the Bosnians
"My Namer ist das Richard"
"Roy there not fucking German"
"Yeah I know, but they speak forgein don't they, German is forgein in it"
THAT'S THE ROY TOP 10 (WELL 11), I HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING IT AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED RE-LIVING OLD MEMORIES....
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE ROY QUOTE BY E-MAILING ME, AND IF THERE IS ENOUGH RESPONCE I WILL MAKE A 'PEOPLE TOP 10'
IF YOU HAVN'T ALREADY CHECKED EM OUT, CHECK OUT THE OTHER SECTIONS....CHEERS!!!
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