"Come On, Stop the Bus....Me Dad's a Driver
Arrr Please.....Look, I pay me way"
"You can call me Mr. Bo Jangles the oldest swinger in town or the man with the midas touch"
"Come Hell or High Waters, I'll be there"
An Incident when Roy Skipped Class
"Oh look at Ulrikas boobs, bloody smashing pair they are, I say bloomin smashin pair"
Roys Lecturer, who is standing behind him, without him knowing:
"Yes Richard I'm sure Ulrikas more interesting than my lesson"
"When I went to the toilet there was 59minutes on the clock, when i came back there where 80, I must of been on the toilet Shitting it"
"Hey Roy, what are you doing?"
"Oh Alright mate, i'm just gettin a bit of wax outta the old ear"
Roy and his Ruddles
"Can I have a Pint of your finest Ruddles please"
"What you dunno do Ruddles, well give us a minute while I think of something else"
While at a Football Match, Roy is really pissed of because the Tranmere fans where laughing at the derby fan for all the decisons going there way...then derby are awarded a free kick....everyone is sitting down silent and then roy stands up and goes:
"Now you know how we feel.......DUNT YA!!"
"Go on Roy you knocked the ball on the Roof so you get it"
Roy in a real wimpy voice "But I can't Climb!!!!!!!" (Not funny when read, but if you was there)
Roy goes out to meet someone in his derby shirt, he comments:
"Well gotta look smart, gotta make the effort u'know"
"Margate..... A've seen more muscle on a greasy chip"
"Hello Grandma, I'd like to introduce you to our new pet....hes called Newton....Newton I'd like you to meet our Grandma, you can call her Grandma"
"Aw Shit"
"Whats up Roy"
"The Flaming Milk Mans Here int he.........................Ermmm hello mate, how's it going???? errrr soss mate but me dad aint back from work yet.....hes doing abit of the old overtime, he will be back for 7 honest"
"We got bloody battered in that game, and I don't mean the type they do at the old fish bar"
"You know what they say Dun't ya....Eyes for an Eye, Tooth for a Tooth"
"Now I'm not a man to count me chickens"
"Shes as hot as me Sunday Roast"
"Would you like a yogurt??? There St.Michaels"
"Richard you have alot of explaining to do"
"Boots on the other foot"
"Shes not Bad, but shes no Thora Hurd"
"Your as mad as a Baked Bean"
"But Baked Beans arnt mad Roy"
"They are where I come from"
"I'm so furious, I'm Boiling like a Kettle"
"Well U'Know what they say Lads..........
A Bird in the Hand is worth 2 in the Bush"
"Damn this is gonna take me hours to revise"
Roy "Well U'know Rome wasn't built in a day"
"We got into a bit of a smash the other day in Dannys car, they say it was a write off.....
I said Right-off, left-off there all the bloody same to me"
John Challands "Sooooo errrrr Rich--ard, where would you huh huh huh like to go on holiday this year?"
Roy "Well errrr Costa Brava sound like a nice little spot"
John "Costa Brava, more like Ruddy Costa - Fortune"
"Ooooh Clive I say I do like those new curtains,cracking little pair they are, go together real well, that's a real nice shade of blue that is, go nice with yer sofa"
"Now I'm gonna tell ya something...i've seen every pair of boobs under the sun....but I have to say, ya canna beat a bit of ye old Ulrika"
"Ya see what ya lose on the swing, you gain on the roundabout"
"I say Jim, whats up with you son, i say yer face is as long as an undertakers overcoat, an undertakers overcoat it's like"
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