Welcome, Friend
I'm Ruby. I'm what is commonly known as transsexual, less
commonly as gender dysphoric. For myself it's just a case of knowing that
i'm a woman, even though that doesn't fit with my body. It's something
i have known for the longest time. My earliest coherent memory is of telling
my mum that i wanted female genitals. Mine just didn't fit. She then explained
quite patiently that i was a boy, and that i was stuck with that. And
for the longest time
that was it.
Of course i didn't give up the dream, but sex-changes
just didn't happen in real live. They happened in fairy-tales, or in the
better class of science-fiction. And i was so jealous.
Or they happened to really messed-up people, who ended up as prostitutes
with aids. And that scared me thoroughly.
What a change it was when, not quite 2 years ago, i told my therapist my dream. At the time i was admitting to my darkest and most shameful desires. Now i am so happy. I have told my mum and my sister, and they are both supportive. I dress almost every day, and am looking forward impatiently to the day that i first go out. All my old problems are just silently fading away. I feel more or less whole for the first time in my life.
As a friend said recently, now it's time to get serious.
This site is an attempt to chronicle what will happen in the next couple of years, a place for me to dream about a better future, to vent about male chauvinistic pigs, to talk about what's bothering me and what's great in my life. All this, and hopefully much more.
Come back soon!
Love,
Ruby
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Natalie is in the UK, and started writing her diary a year ago, when she first started taking hormones. She's now getting ready to go full-time. An inspiring story, well worth a read. Oh, and her webdesign is world class. |
"Remember, Honey, straight people just can't help it!"
