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I did say one thing that was probably not right, when I said I was sweet and lovable.


Q: Sir, there's a widespread perception in this town that when it comes to the Iraqis and the Palestinians, you are a hard-liner. Are you comfortable with that? (Laughter.) And --
Rumsfeld: Look at me! I'm sweet and lovable. (Laughter.)

Q: Sir?
Q: Secretary Rumsfeld?
Q: Mr. Secretary?
Rumsfeld: The young lady back there. She's got a terrific smile! (Laughs; laughter.)
Q: Thank you.
(Cross talk.)
Rumsfeld: You do too! You're next! (Laughter.)

Q: Wei Jing, Phoenix TV of Hong Kong. Mr. Rodman is going to China, and you are also viewed -- sorry -- as a hard-liner of the administration in China. (Laughter.) What --
Rumsfeld: I hope my grandchildren aren't watching. (Laughter.)

Now, I am going to excuse myself, and I want to say that it's been a delight being with you -- (laughter) -- even though -- even though a couple of you folks -- (laughter, cross talk) --

Foreign Press Center - Friday, June 21, 2002 - 10:30 a.m. EDT


You will only received direct, honest answers from me, and they'll either be that I know and I'll answer you, or I don't know, or I know and I won't answer you. And that'll be it.

October 22, 2001


Well, the president's policy is dead or alive. And, you know, I have my preference.

We've got a lot of retired officers and enlisted personnel around the country that are asked on television, "What about this? What about that? What's the likely thing that's going to happen next?" And they begin speculating and speculating. And of course, even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.

(Regarding bin Laden's whereabouts) Well, first of all, we don't know if he's in a cave. When I get up in the morning, I picture him in a cave. [Laughter.] But he may not be in a cave.

Fort Bragg - Wednesday, November 21, 2001


Well, first of all, you're beginning with an illogical premise and proceeding perfectly logically to an illogical conclusion, which is a dangerous thing to do.

Q: What about the -- [inaudible] for the public who -- you know, beyond the criticism from human rights organizations for using the cluster bombs, they're calling for a halt -- could you explain the tactical rationale for using them?
Rumsfeld: They are being used on front-line all Qaeda and Taliban troops to try to kill them, is why we're using them, to be perfectly blunt.

If we stay any longer, I'll be accused of being here too long. (Laughter.)

Thursday, Nov. 1, 2001 - Noon EST


I think we ought to have a new rule: You can ask two questions, and then we can pick the one we want to answer.

Friday, October 12, 2001 - 12:15 p.m. EDT


Well, I'm not a psychiatrist and there's no way I can climb in their heads, individually or collectively, and know why they're doing what they're doing.

And the idea that you could appease them by stopping doing what we're doing or some implication that by doing what we're doing we're inciting them to attack us is just utter nonsense. It's just -- it's kind of like feeding an alligator, hoping it eats you last. I mean, it -- (laughter)

Tuesday, Nov. 13, 2001 - 2:31 p.m. EST


I'm hopeful that some will surrender. I suspect some won't, and I suspect the result from that will be that the opposition forces will kill them.

Monday, Nov. 26, 2001 - 11:59 a.m. EST


This is fantastic! I've got a laser pointer! Holy mackerel! (Laughter.)

Why don't we take a couple more questions. Maybe -- yes, one here. Go ahead.
Q: Me?
Rumsfeld: Yeah. Should I get the laser out? (Laughter.)

Franks: Sir, may I borrow your --
Rumsfeld: Yeah, I'll point. You tell me where to point. (Laughter.) (Laughs.) I've been waiting all day to do this! I mean --

First of all, we all know that's not a follow-up question. (Laughter.)

It looked like nothing was happening. Indeed, it looked like we were in a -- all together now -- quagmire. (Soft laughter.)

Tuesday, November 27, 2001 - 1:30 p.m. EST


I don't believe it will happen. If it does happen, I suppose, as Adlai Stevenson said, "We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it."

Q: Secretary Rumsfeld, can you give us -- or maybe even General Pace -- can you give us any idea of what's happening --
Rumsfeld: What do you mean "even General Pace"? (Laughter.)
(To the general) You don't have to take that from him!

Q: Mr. Secretary, do you think that's where bin Laden is?
Rumsfeld: (Chuckles.) Goodness gracious.
Q: (Off mike) -- the barnyard?
Rumsfeld: Where's the barnyard? (Laughter.)

Pam Hess: Mr. Secretary, I'm very sorry, but I am really confused.
Rumsfeld: Don't be sorry.
Q: I am really, really confused here.
Q: Yeah.
Rumsfeld: Don't be. (Laughter.) We will help you. We are here to help you.

If I said that there is another alternative to that, and yet I couldn't say what it might be, then I would feel that you would be -- feel unfulfilled again and -- (laughter) -- and that would bother me deeply. (Laughter continues.)

People are looking for us -- you know, it's the old glass box at the -- at the gas station, where you're using those little things trying to pick up the prize, and you can't find it. (Laughter.) It's -- and it's all these arms are going down in there, and so you keep dropping it and picking it up again and moving it, but -- some of you are probably too young to remember those -- those glass boxes, but -- (laughter) --
Q: General Pace? General Pace?
Rumsfeld: -- but they used to have them at all the gas stations when I was a kid. (Laughter.)

Thursday, Dec. 6, 2001 - 11:15 a.m. EST


I mean, let's face it. They weren't exactly baking cookies in those caves.

October 18, 2001


The stuff you're reading about in the paper, that there was a decision to send in 500 Marines and a decision to not send in 400 Marines -- that's all newspaper talk -- just flat out.

We do know, of certain knowledge, that he is either in Afghanistan or in some other country or dead.

Thursday, December 27, 2001 - 2:00 p.m. EST


Q: Mr. Secretary, is bin Laden alive or dead apparently now? And if he is alive, is the United States winning the war on terrorism?

Rumsfeld: Charlie, the answer to the question "Is he alive or dead" -- the answer is yes, he is alive or dead. (Laughter.)

Thursday, November 14, 2002 - 11:30 a.m. EST


And then there was the office of strategic influence. You may recall that. And "oh my goodness gracious isn't that terrible, Henny Penny the sky is going to fall." I went down that next day and said fine, if you want to savage this thing fine I'll give you the corpse. There's the name. You can have the name, but I'm gonna keep doing every single thing that needs to be done and I have.

Media Availability En Route to Chile - November 18, 2002


So it would be, you know, not like me to jump in and be critical unfairly. (Laughter.)

Tuesday, March 11, 2003 - 1:30 p.m. EST


Q: Mr. Secretary, at the White House last night, a senior White House official after the president spoke said that the decision to make the strike was made some time between 6:30 and 7:00 Eastern time. It's apparent that that decision to strike was not in line with what we have been led to believe about the war plan. Was the intelligence you got fragile enough where you felt you had to go at that moment and not start with, say, shock and awe or some other phase of the war?
Rumsfeld: Well, Dick, calibrate me, but the first thing I'd say is I don't believe you have the war plan -- (laughter) -- a fact which does not make me unhappy. (Laughter.)

Thursday, March 20, 2003