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I Will Talk And Hollywood Will
Listen
I wouldn't be so alone
They knew my name in every home
Kevin Spacey would call on the phone
But I'd be too busy
Come back to the old five and dime
Cameron Diaz give me a sign
I'd make you smile all the time
Your conversation would compliment mine
I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow at my every word
Mr. Spielberg look just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little obsurd
Bow at my every word
Buy up the rights to my book
Live on a ranch from what the box office took
I'll go and visit the set
They'll call me their saviour
All the people will scorn celebrity
Lives on the moon
But, I'll be back home in June
To promote the sequel
I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow and my every word
Mr. Spielberg look just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little obsurd
Bow at my every word
Mack The Knife
Oh the shark has pretty teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white
Just a jack knife has MacHeath, dear
And he keeps it out of sight
You know when the shark bites with his teeth, dear
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves though wears MacHeath, dear
So there's not a trace of red
On the sidewalk, Sunday morning
Lies a body oozing life
Someone's sneaking round the corner
Is the someone Mack the knife?
From a tug boat down by the river
A cement bag's dropping down
The cement's just for the weight, dear
Bet you Mack is back in town
Louie Miller disappeared, dear
After drawing out his cash
And MacHeath spends like a sailor
Did our boy do something rash?
Sukey Tawdry, Jenny Diver
Polly Peachum, Lucy Brown
Oh the line forms on the right, dear
Now that Mack is back in town
Somethin' Stupid
I know I stand in line until you think you have the time to spend an evening
with me
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance you won't be
leaving with me
And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you'
I can see it in your eyes that you despise the same old lies you heard the night
before
And though it's just a line to you, for me it's true and never seemed so right
before
I practice every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come
through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you
The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the
night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you'
The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the
night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you'
I love you
I love you
I love you
Do Nothin' Till You Hear From Me
Do nothing till you hear from me
Pay no attention to what's said
Why people should tear the seam of anyone's dream
Is over my head
Do nothing till you hear from me
At least consider our romance
If you should take the word of others you've heard
I haven't a chance
True, I've been seen with someone new
But does that mean that I'm untrue?
While we're apart, the words in my heart
Reveal how I feel about you
Some kiss may cloud my memory
And other arms may hold a thrill
But please do nothing till you hear it from me
And you never will!
It Was A Very Good Year
When I was seventeen, it was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls and soft summer nights
We'd hide from the light on the village green when I was seventeen
When I was twenty-one, it was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls who lived up the stairs
With perfume hair that came undone when I was twenty-one
When I was thirty-five, it was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls of independent means
We'd ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive when I was thirty-five
But now the days are short, I'm in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine from fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs
It poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year
Straighten Up And Fly Right
A buzzard took a monkey for a ride in the air,
The monkey thought that everything was on the square
The buzzard tried to throw the monkey off his back,
The monkey grabbed his neck and said,
"Now listen, Jack..."
Straighten up and fly right,
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top
Ain't no use in divin',
What's the use in jivin'?
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top
The buzzard told the monkey,
You're chokin' me
Release your hold and I'll set you free
The monkey looked the buzzard right dead in the eye and said,
"Your story's so touching, but it sounds just like a lie."
Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top
Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow - your - top
Fly right!
Well, Did You Evah
I have heard among this clan,
You are called the forgotten man
Is that what they're saying?
Well did you evah!
What a swell party this is
And have you heard the story of a boy, a girl, unrequited
love?
Sounds like your soap opera
I may cry
Tune in tomorrow
What a swell party this is
What frails
What frocks
What broads
What pearls
What rocks
They're bootiful
I've never seen such gaiety
Neither have I
It's all just too, too risque
really
This French champagne
Domestic
So good for the brain
That's what I was gonna say
You know you're a brilliant fellow?
Why thank you
Pick it up, Jack
Oh please don't eat the glass, my friend
Have you heard about dear Blanche?
Got run down by an avalanche
No!
Oh, don't worry, she's
a game girl you know,
Got up and finished 4th
The kid's got guts
Havin' a nice time?
Grab a line
Have you heard that Mimsie Starr
Oh, what now?
She got pinched in the Astor bar
Slushed again, ey?
She was stoned
Well did you evah
Nevah
What a swell party this is
Hey check out that ass!
Aah, that's a lovely dress,
Do you think I could talk her out of it?
It's great
Ah, it's great
So grand
So grand
It's wo-…-nderland
La la ...
Ladada ...
We sing
Oh we sing
So real
So real
Like old camembert
Old camembert
Like ba, ba rum
Ba ba ba bum
Don't dig that kind of crooning, chum
Have you heard, it's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars
Well did you evah
What a swell party
A swell party
A swellegant, elegant party this is
I drink to your health
Naah, let's drink to your wealth
You're my bon ami
Hey, that's French
Liberty
Fraternity
Have you heard, it's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars
Well did you evah
What a swell party
A swell party
A swellegant, elegant party this is
Mr. Bojangles
I knew a man Bojangles
And he'd dance for you
In worn out shoes
With silver hair a ragged shirt
And baggy pants
He would do the old soft shoe
He would jump so high
Jump so high
Then he lightly touch down
He told me of the time he worked with Minstrel shows
Travelling throughout the south
He spoke with tears of fifteen years
How his dog and he
They would travel about.
But his dog up and died
He up and died
And after twenty years he still grieved
He said "I dance now
At every chance in the Honky Tonks
For my drinks and tips
But most the time I spend
Behind these country bars
You see on I drinks a bit"
Then he shook his head
Oh lord when he shook his head
I could swear I heard someone say please
Mister Bojangles
Call him Mister Bojangles
Mister Bojangles come back and dance please
Come back and dance again Mr Bojangles
One For My Baby
It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em' up Joe, I got a little story
I think you should know
We're drinking my friend,
To the end of a brief episode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
I know the routine,
Put another nickel in the machine
Feeling so bad,
Can't you make the music easy and sad
I could tell you a lot,
But it's not in a gentleman's code
Just make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
You'd never know it, but buddy I'm a kind of poet
And I've got a lot of things I'd like to say
When I'm gloomy, please listen to me
Till it's talked away
Well that's how it goes,
And Joe I know your gettin' anxious to close
Thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind
My bending your ear
But this torch that I found,
It's gotta be drowned
Or it's gonna explode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
Things
Ev'ry night I sit here by my window (window)
Starin' at the lonely avenue (avenue)
Watching lovers holdin' hand 'n' laughin' (laughin')
And thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do
[Chorus]
(Thinkin' of things) Like a walk in the park
(Things) Like a kiss in the dark
(Things) Like a sailboat ride
(Yeah-yeah) What about the night we cried?
Things like a lover's vow
Things that we don't do now
Thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do
Memories are all I have to cling to (cling to)
And heartaches are the friends I'm talkin' to (talkin' to)
When I'm not thinkin' of-a just how much I love you (love you)
Well, I'm-a thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do
[Chorus]
I still can hear the jukebox softly playin' (playin')
And the face I see each day belongs to you (belongs to you)
Though there's not a single sound and there's nobody else around
Well, it's-a just me thinkin' of the things we used to do
[Chorus]
And the heartaches are the friends I'm talkin' to
Ya got me thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do
[spoken]
Jane: You were rubbish in that
Rob: Don't start that with me on this album
Jane: Why did you do it like that, that time
Rob: For start to finish there you said I'm wrong
Jane: You said I had to think about Kylie when I was doing this and I was
Rob: You obviously weren't thinking about Kylie, you were thinking about June
Whitfield
Jane: I can't hear you, I can't hear you
Rob: Well you were thinking about June Whitfield that's who you were thinking
about.
Jane: I had to think about somebody and you told me Kylie
Rob: Well listen, you just came in wrong and then it got progressively worse
from there. You started it wrong....
Jane: I can't hear you you're cutting out
Rob: It went bad, bad, bad right towards the end
Jane: Who said bad? When you sang
Rob: No when you sang
Jane: No
Rob: Yes you can hear me, look you started this on your last album, I don't want
anything to do it, I'm going, goodbye.
Ain't That A Kick In The Head
How lucky can one guy be
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the fella once said,
"Ain't that a kick in the head?"
The room was completely black,
I hugged her and she hugged back
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin',
My life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful
I've sunshine enough to spread,
It's just like the fella said
Tell me quick,
"Ain't that a kick in the head?"
Like the fella once said,
"Ain't that a kick in the head?"
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin',
My life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful
She's tellin' me we'll be wed,
she's picked out a king-size bed
I couldn't feel any better or I'd be sick
Tell me quick oh, ain't that a kick?
Tell me quick ain't that a kick in the head?
They Can't Take That Away From Me
The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No they can't take that away from me
The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No they can't take that away from me
We may never never meet again,
On that bumpy road to love
But I'll always, always keep the memory of
The way you hold your knife
The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
Oh, no they can't take that away from me
Have You Met Miss Jones?
Have you met Miss Jones?
Someone said as we shook hands
She was just Miss Jones to me
Then I said Miss Jones
You're a girl who understands
I'm a man who must be free
And all at once I lost my breath
And all at once was scared to death
And all at once I own the earth and sky
Now I met Miss Jones
And well keep on meeting till we die
Miss Jones and I
And all at once I lost my breath
And all at once was scared to death
And all at once I own the earth and sky
Now I met Miss Jones
And well keep on meeting till we die
Miss Jones and I
Miss Jones and I
Miss Jones and I
Me And My Shadow
[spoken]
[Robbie: (american accent)] Jonny and Robbie
[Jonathan:] What you talking like that for, you're from Stoke!
[Robbie:] I dunno but I can't stop here pally
Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall
Like the seashore clings to the sea
Like you'll never get rid of your shadow
You'll never get rid of me
Let all the others fight and fuss
Whatever happens, we've got us
(Me and my shadow)
We're closer than pages that stick in a book
We're closer than ripples that flow in a brook
(Strolling down the avenue)
Wherever you find him, you'll find me, just look
Closer than a miser or the bloodhounds to Liza
(Me and my shadow )
We're closer than smog to all of L.A.
We're closer than Ricky to confessing he's gay
Not a soul can bust this team in two
We stick together like glue
And when it's sleeping time
That's when we rise
We start to swing
Our clocks don't chime
What a surprise
They ring-a-ding-ding!
Happy New Year!
(Me and my shadow)
And now to repeat what I said at the start
They'll need a large crowbar to break us apart
We're alone but far from blue
Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
We'll hit a few late spots, and then a few more
We'll wind up at Stringy's and maybe Toot's Shore
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
For my shadow and me!
[spoken]
Jonathan: Can we do that again?
Robbie: No, I'm too tired
Jonathan: Please Rob
Robbie: No, I'm swung out
Jonathan: I'll give you some money
Robbie: I don't need money
Jonathan: What about a cup of tea
Robbie: Not thirsty
Jonathan: I'll won't tell anyone you're gay
[Both Laugh]
Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
We'll hit all the late spots, and then a few more
We'll wind up at Stringy's and maybe Toot's Shore
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
For my shadow and me!
Beyond The Sea
Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailing
Somewhere beyond the sea
She's there watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to her arms I'd go sailing
It's far beyond a star,
It's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
And never again I'll go sailing
Some sailing
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