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These are supposedly actual
signs. Whether or not they are real, they sure are funny!
ACTUAL SIGNS
In the front yard of a funeral home
"Drive carefully, we'll
wait."
On an electrician's truck
"Let us remove your shorts."
Outside a radiator repair shop
"Best place in town to take
a leak."
In a nonsmoking area
"If we see you smoking,
we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door
"Push, Push, Push."
On a front door
"Everyone on the premises
is a vegetarian except the dog."
At an optometrist's office
"If you don't see what you're
looking for,
you've come to the right
place."
On a taxidermist's window
"We really know our stuff."
On a butcher's window
"Let me meat your needs."
On a fence
"Salesmen welcome. Dog food
is expensive."
At a car dealership
"The best way to get back
on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop
"No appointment necessary.
We'll hear you coming."
In a dry cleaner's emporium
"Drop your pants here."
On a desk in a reception room
"We shoot every 3rd salesman,
and the 2nd one just left."
In a veterinarian's waiting room
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!
Stay!"
In a Beauty Shop
"Dye now!"
In a restaurant window
"Don't stand there and be
hungry, come in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley
"Please be quiet. We need
to hear a pin drop."
In a cafeteria
"Shoes are required to eat
in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place
they want."
On the back of a truck
"Your skid stops here"
"Once you get people laughing, they're
listening and you can tell them almost anything"
--HERB GARDNER
Liz (From the UK)
"Refugee From Freedom and
Democracy"
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