Yeah, I can hear you groaning "What's she up to now?" Well, as you probably know, there are a few sites on the internet that have lists called "You know you watch too much Sailormoon when..." lists, which complete the above statement with several (usually humorous) answers. But on those lists, you rarely come across answers which involve the villains. So, I decided to make my own list of "You Know You're Too Obsessed With the Sailormoon Villians When..." Heh heh, villain fans, unite! And the best part of this page (for you) is that you can send me suggestions and I will probably put them on the page ^_^ Anything in parentheses is my usual commentary. Sorry, I just don't know when to keep my mouth shut (Or, in this case, when to cut off my fingers to prevent myself from writing dumb comments). Most of my comments are tasteful, anyway. Hell, I even have comments on my own entries :P So, let's get started...

One last note: Since I've found it really annoying that you need to scroll through a big long list to find new entries, I've decided to put new ones at the top instead of the bottom. Aren't I thoughtful?

Last updated February 10, 2003: 1 new entry

You Know You're Too Obsessed With the SailorMoon Villains When..."

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• When watching Sailormoon tapes or DVDs, you always fast forward straight to the parts featuring you favorite villains (hey, I've done that one ^_^)

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• You have a beanie baby tiger, hawk, and fish on your shelf, and you refer to them as the Chibi Trio.
• You write long fan-fics in which the villains come back to life and kick the asses of the Sailor Senshi on a regular basis.
• You nearly have a heart attack when a guy named Tyler Aiyo transfers into your math class. (Would that be a pink sugar heart attack? ^_^;; Sorry, I know I'm stupid :P)
• You get blue and red stripes tattooed on you cheek and a black gem surgically implanted in your forehead.
• You take a Home Economics class just so you can learn to sew the outfit of your favorite villain.
• You go to all the pet shops in town looking for Fish Eye.
• Whenever you see the letters "DK" together, you can't help but think of the Dark Kingdom.
• You hate certain SailorMoon good guys for killing off your favorite villains.
• You wonder why the senshi have their own symbols and the villains don't, so you spend your time in class thinking up symbols for them.
• You've gotten you grandparents to call you by the name of your favorite villain.
• You try to walk into a mirror, hoping it will keep you eternally young and beautiful.
• You cross-dress to be more like Fish Eye, and you actually manage to convince some people, yourself includded.
• You scream and run away from clowns, fearing they will fire spades at you.
• You'll never look at pre-teen girls with strange hair ornaments the same way again...
• Whenever you have ice cubes in your drink, you hallucinate and see Jadeite trapped inside of them.
• You buy a fish, a tiger and a hawk, hoping that someday you will be able to use the power of the Dead Moon to transform them into the Amazon Trio.
• You scream and run away whenever you see a cat.
• You try to change clothes by snapping your fingers, hoping an Amazon Trio curtain will drop down in front of you.
• You attack those who say Zoisite and Fish Eye are girls.
• You love Spazz for giving a conclusion to the Amazon Trio...and you hope she'll write more chapters or stories about them...or at least Fish Eye-sama... (Seriously, I didn't write this! Apparently, I have fans ^_^;;)
• You paint life-sized murals of your favorite villains on your bedroom walls.
• You watch the episodes featuring your favorite villains over and over, and ignore episodes featuring other groups.
• You try to make monsters appear from your shadow.
• You want to kill Helios for not leaving the Amazon Trio on Earth.
• Whenever you see a picture of someone, you think it's your new target.
• You think Zircon and Zirconia have something to do with the Paparazzi...
• You think Zoisite must have fallen into the Spring of Drowned Girl.
• You see a group of people dressed up as witches for Halloween, and you immediately scream, "Oh my god! It's the Witches 5!"
• You go around to various beauty shops hoping to run into the Four Sisters.
• You won't go near people with really long hair. If they come near you, you scream "No! My energy, not yours!" and you run to find Professor Tomoe to get Mistress 9 under control.
• Your name is Mary, but you insist that people call you MereMere, and you talk in 3rd person.
• You break into people's houses to steal mirrors and seeds.
• You won't take off your gold bracelets because you believe you will die if you do.
• You get a tin man and paint it gold...then it starts ordering you to find star seeds o_O;;
• You go to a lemure exhibit at a zoo, expecting to see Dead Moon Lemures.
• Your science teacher is getting really annoyed when you try to make him/her wear glasses that glow in the dark.
• You wear glasses and attach little paper flaming wings (or maybe even real ones o_O;;) to the frames so you can look like Zircon (You know, the flying eyeball ^_^;;)
• Or, you take a tennis ball, draw an eye on it, put the little flames and wings on it, and tell it to go find people with dream mirrors. The rest of the time, you keep it on a staff (which doubles as a golf club ^_^;;) and carry it around everywhere.
• You refuse to go to an airport, fearing you'll end up like Jadeite.
• You walk around wearing a gold metal sailor fuku.
• You have a thing for wrinkly old purple ladies o_O;;
• You walk around chanting "Yume yume utagao koto naka re...yume miru kodomo no yume no yume." (That thing the Amazoness Quartet like to say.) People think you're possessed by some sort of demon o_O;;
• Your definition of "Nephritis" is "A person who is obsessed with Nephrite." (It's actually a kidney disease o_O;;) so you walk around proudly announcing that you have Nephritis...people tell you that you shoule see a doctor (For more than one reason ^_^;;)
• People are afraid to play pool with you because you always try to shoot at their backs.
• You wear bells everywhere to be like Tin Nyanko.
• No one wants to play cards with you anymore because whenever you play, you try to call up a cardian from every card.
• You start talking like a youma (which consists of saying nothing but your name.) Your friends start to avoid you ^_^;;
• You paint black stars on your body, and when you meet someone who might have a pure heart, you flash the star at them...no matter where on your body the star is o_O;; (What a lovely first impression ^_^;;)
• The drawers in your dresser have fish in them o_O;;
• You draw Nephrite's little symbol everywhere, hoping to drain energy from people.
• You train yourself to talk in 3rd person (Spazz-chan is bored!)
• You try to make pool balls float.
• When at the circus, you think you see the Amazon Trio/Quartet.
• You refuse to work at an office unless there's a mad scientist and a lady in a red dress.
• When you're mad, you go "1 2 3!"/get out your (insert name here) Buster, etc...
• You got a 'C' on your report about Zoisite and Kunzite because you kept saying, "Aww, they're so cute!" and the teacher had no idea what you were talking about.
• Whenever someone begins to say something about the "Negaverse" you immediately start screaming, "It's the Dark Kingdom, you idiots!"
• You learn that Juno was Jupiter's wife and think "Ew!"
• You practice maniacal laughter...and actually master it o_O;; (Ha ha! It's great for scaring people...I know from experience ^o^)
• You flunked math class because you claimed that you could only count to 3 o_O;; Wan, Tsu, Surii!!!
• You also failed English because you would only say "What Tiger's Eye-sama taught you." ("What time is it now?" "You are my target.")
• You listen to 3rd Eye Blind,just because of their name.
• You won't go to Sailor Moon conventions unless there's a villains theme...once there, you chase around the people dressed up as villains.
• You go nuts when you see a diamond or sapphire in a store.
• You steal the train at Universal Studios to go to the 30th century.
• You stalk the villain's seiyuu (Voice actors, for the Japenese illiterate)
• Whenever you see a little gray cat with a crescent moon on it's forehead, you run like hell ^_^
• You look for Star Seeds at gardening stores o_O;;
• Yuo were kicked out of school because you kept calling your teachers "Old Hag."
• You completely ruin your hair trying to bleach it Kunzite's color.
• You spend all your time in bars drinking, looking at pictures, and cross-dressing o_O;;
• You but a flame thrower and shoot it at people while yelling "Fire Buster!", hoping somone's Heart Crystal will pop out.
• You designed your hair like a villain's (And it hurt!)
• You have an upsidedown black moon tattooed on your forehead.
• You go around yelling "One! Two! Three!" at anyone who crosses your path...until they call the nut-house ^o^
• When watching other anime,you constantly scream out "Oh my God! That character looks exactly like (Insert villain here)!" Everyone else gives you strange looks.
• You constantly imagine, maybe even write stories about yourself doing...ummm, stuff (^_-) with your favorite villain.
• You go to Japan in April because of all the cherry blossoms, hoping that Zoisite will emerge from the petals.
• During the winter,you break all the icicles off your house and put them in the freezer, hoping to use them as ice crystals later.
• You go to a restaurant and order a chocoalte partfait. While eating it, you start crying and yelling out "NEPHRITE-SAMA!!!" at random intervals.
• When someone says "Yeesh, you smell like a fish!" you take it as a compliment.
• You've sworn by Fish and Fish products.
• Sometimes while watching TV, you yell out things like "You stupid bitch! You man-handle my Jadeite like that one more time and I'll shove that tiara up your ass!"
• You like to go visit your grandparents in the old folks home, because you know with all those white haired people there, one of them has got to be Kunzite or Prince Demando.
• When you start getting mysterious phone calls, you think that Galaxia must be getting upset at your failures.
• Your head is all cut up and bloody from all the times you've tried to stick it into mirrors.
• You give one of your rivals the nickname "Snail Lady" and you put snails in their locker at school.
• Your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you because they thought you were going too far when you asked them to dress up as your favorite villain, and started giving them lessons on how to be more like them.
• You learn your friends' names sound way too similar to those of the Amazon Trio, like Harry, Felicia and Tony, and you run around screaming "I know Amazon Trio personally!" no matter how stupid you look.
• In science,when learning about energy, you ask the teacher if they can show you how to drain energy from other people.
• You often practice the Esmeraude/NA Zoisite laugh so often that people are afraid to come near you...
• You steal two razor blades from your father and make them into earrings. Then you steal your mother's best pearl necklace. (Ah, so that's how Tiger's Eye learned to dress himself.)
• You run around asking people if you can have a quick peek in their dream mirror. If you actually manage, seek help. Now! And don't look at me like that!
• You raise trees, call them mother, and expect them to talk back to you.
• You draw a third eye on your forehead and try to hypnotize the girl/guy you have a crush on into liking you.
• You drink lots of "lemonade" (*Snicker* who do those DiC people think they're fooling? Most lemonade doesn't come in a bottle like that!)
• You ask for a cape set in 500 different fun colors. (Whoopee!!! Now you and all you're freinds can look like Kunzite and Prince Demando! WAI!)
• You write to the toy companies in Japan demanding that they make more SailorMoon villain dolls and merchandise, and if they refuse, you'll drain all their energy/take their rainbow crystal/get their heart crystal/etc. (A true villain fan should know the rest of the list of fun stuff villains get to do ^_^)
• You wake up very suddenly, sit straight up in bed, and find yourself saying "Oh, (Insert favorite villain here) Good Morning!" because your walls are papered with pictures of him/her.
• You've watched Zoisites' death scene 50 times and you still cry harder then you did at Titanic.
• You don't answer to anything except "Your-name-here-ite/Eye" (Like Spazzite or Spazz Eye)
• Your teacher asks you what you'd like to be called and you answer "Well, maybe Fish Eye, but I think I'd prefer Tiger's Eye." (Or whatever villains you want)
• You wonder why they don't make a SailorMoon villains soft drink/candy bar (Mmm, how'd you like a bite out of Zoisite? Well, actually...never mind...Maybe I should type up my advertisement for Zoi-sauce ^_^;;)
• You walk into a jewelery store and get excited and buy all the minerals that are named after SailorMoon villians, thinking that they really are them, but they were just turned into stone. When you get home, you try to use the power of the Dark Kingdom to bring them back to life, and start crying when it doesn't work.
• In a Chinese restaurant, your ears keep playing tricks on you and you think people are saying "Zoisite" (Or even Zoi-sauce *snicker*) instead of "Soy-sauce"
• You spend hours trying to do your hair like one of the girls in the Amazoness Quartet, and you actually manage to do it.
• Whenever the Circus comes to town, you go and search for the Amazon Trio and the Amazoness Quartet.
• In the grocery store, you thought you saw Kunzite out of the corner of your eye, but it was really just a display of mops.
• You could have sworn that the pilot of the last airplane you took was Jadeite...
• You are constantly trying to contact the stars, not to find out the many secrets of life, but to find where Nephrite lives.
• For some odd reason, you enjoy running around throwing sakura (Cheery blossom petals) at people...
• Now everyone knows: If they want to give you flowers,they had better be pink roses, or else they know they'll end up with an ice crystal in their back...
• You start watching M*A*S*H because you hear Hawk Eye is in it. When you start watching, you get very confused and wonder where the Amazon Trio is...
• You bleach your hair and wear a cape, just for the fun of it.
• You won't go out with someone unless they are full of themself and wear lots of really tacky jewelry.
• You start to wonder why when you yell "ZOI!" nothing happens...
• You don't look for SailorMoon stuff when you shop, you want big purple boomerangs!
• You wear a poofy full body suit on a regular basis.
• You live in a cave.
• You've run after your little sister with a whip looking for Pegasus.
• You goal in life is to be able to float.
• You start to wonder if Fish Eye and the Michelin Tire guy are related (Hey, they DO have similar taste in clothes!)
• Since you can't find any SailorMoon T-shirts with villains on them, you take a silk-screening class so you can make your own.

That's all I have for now. Be sure to send me your suggestions at sailorspazz@yahoo.com

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