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Poster (c) Walt Disney Films
For some reason, I’ve never liked Johnny Depp. Ever since I saw him die in A Nightmare on Elm Street and I was glad, I wasn’t a Depp fan. However, as Captain Jack Sparrow, not only is he able to deliver snappy one-liners, he proves to BE the movie. If it wasn’t for Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl wouldn’t have a tongue-in-cheek feel; it would just seem like it was a serious pirate movie, which, by Jove, it isn’t. There’s nothing in it that’s remotely bound to happen.
The story, which was based on a Disney World ride, has Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley, aka the hot girl from Bend it Like Beckham) with a golden medallion, and bloodthirsty pirates come to kidnap her for it. If regular “yo-ho-ho” pirates weren’t enough, they’re zombie/ghost/skeleton pirates that cannot be killed. However, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom, who was added into this movie just so teenage girls would see it and swoon over him), who’s smitten with her, tries to rescue her with the help of Cpt. Jack Sparrow (Depp). Soon they’re in way over their head.
As the previews for this movie started to come out, I had my doubts. I thought that this was going to be the worst movie of the summer, with a plot more contrived that Anger Management. Zombie pirates? Ech. Also, my grudge against Johnny Depp held me back. However, after hearing mainly positive reviews, and learning that Depp was actually good, I thought that I’d give it a try. And it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It’s not a piece of art, but it’s a movie I wouldn’t mind seeing again.
The plot is, frankly, really stupid. Like most movies of the summer, they focus too much on having a plot instead of having two hours of rollicking fun. However, Pirates of the Caribbean tries to have a real deep, moving plot, while it suffers with it. It bogs down the fun that we could be having. Also, while all of the fight scenes were pretty good, there were too many…not to say boring, but not exciting scenes.
Depp was pretty funny, but he also proved himself to be a welcome screen presence. I found myself amazed to actually be WANTING more Depp. If you’ve seen any trailers for Pirates of the Caribbean, which I think everyone in the country has, you know what he’ll be like. However, I must object to the casting of Bloom. Just because he can be considered easy on the eyes doesn’t make him a good actor, and he isn’t. Every time he was onscreen, I was waiting for him to leave so Depp can do more onscreen. However, Gore “The Ring” Verbinski thought that somehow he wouldn’t receive as much money if the reason half of the audience went to the theater wasn’t on screen a lot, so in about every place, Orlando Bloom is on screen. Knightley, who was billed fourth and had the most screen time, was pretty good, but I think that she should stick to comedy.
Even if you hate Disney (as I do), you’ll be able to find something to like about the first PG-13 “straight Disney” film, whether it be the tongue-in-cheek humor, the few good swashbuckling scenes, or the horrible plot.
Rated PG-13 for action/adventure violence.
Review Date: July 12, 2003