Meeting Maggie - Part 4 - Gotcha Day!
Mon., May 24, 1999 - I woke up again at about 3:00 AM and never really fell back asleep. I just laid in bed thinking about what would happen that day. I knew that this would be the morning that Lou Shan (a.k.a. Maggie) would leave her foster family and everything that was familiar to her to take a long bus ride from Loudi to Changsha. I thought about how difficult this would be for her and probably for her foster family as well.
After eating breakfast, we went downstairs to the lobby to see off the four families with babies from YueYang. They were to meet their babies at the registration office at 9:00 AM. We were told that they would return around 11:00 AM. The rest of us were scheduled to leave the hotel at 1:00 PM to meet our babies at the registration office at 2:00 PM.
I went back to the room to prepare my paperwork, money, gifts, and diaper bag. At 11:00 AM we went back to the lobby to see the first group of families return. Their bus pulled up and another bus pulled up behind them. They got off the bus with their babies and someone said to those of us who were waiting in the lobby "your babies are here!" Then the people in the next bus disembarked and there were the babies from Loudi, each carried by a staff member from the orphanage. (The foster parents did not travel with the babies.) They were three hours early! As they hurried past us, I tried to figure out which one was Maggie. One of us managed to take a picture of this scene, but you cannot see Maggie in the picture.
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We stayed in the lobby for awhile and talked with one of the other couples whose baby was also from Loudi. We weren't sure how long we would have to wait to get our babies. Pretty soon, Daphne appeared and said "I've been looking all over for you... it's time for you to get your babies!" So, we went back up to the room to get a camera, a tape recorder, a notepad, presents for the orphanage director and nanny, and donations for the orphanage. At this point, Cecilia discovered that her purse was missing. She had left it on the couch in the lobby during the excitement when the babies were arriving. She went back downstairs to look for it. I was ready to hand my camera to someone else in case she didn't make it back in time.
The families who were to receive babies from Loudi stood in the hall outside our guide's room. The babies were in her room. First the orphanage director provided some information about the orphanage and then she answered some questions. Then it was time to receive the babies. My name was called first. I was to stand next to the doorway. Then they called Lou Shan's name. A man (one of the orphanage staff) came through the doorway and handed her to me. I always thought I would be in tears at this moment, but all of it happened so fast and unexpectedly ahead of schedule, that I didn't have much time to think about what was happening. Mainly, I was very excited!
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Maggie was very calm at first and even smiled at me within the first minute or two. After we all had our babies, we were sent back to our rooms to change and feed them. Maggie was wearing about three layers including split pants. I wasn't in a hurry to change her clothes, but thought it would be prudent to put on a diaper! She wasn't too happy about that and I suppose that by this time she realized something was up. I changed her bottom half and then tried to feed her a bottle of rice cereal and milk (per our guide's instructions - she had provide us with the ingredients previously). We tried a couple different kinds of nipples but had no luck. At some point I changed Maggie's top half. I was supposed to return the clothing, but could keep some if I replaced it with something else. I kept the top layer and substituted another outfit that seemed like it was too big for Maggie.
By this time Maggie was pretty upset. I remembered the tape recorder that was in my pocket. I had been recording the events out in the hall. I grabbed a tape that had Chinese Lullabies on it and put it in. Maggie spotted the little box that the tape came in and, noticing her interest in it, I handed it to her. I then turned on the music and she almost instantly fell asleep. This little tape box became one her favorite toys.
At 1:00 we were to meet in our guide's room to fill out some paperwork. This was done hurriedly, with Maggie on my lap. Not an easy task, as she really likes paper and kept grabbing for it! Somewhere around this time some young Chinese people appeared with Cecilia's purse. They said they had picked it up by accident and when they discovered it, they had taken money out of her wallet to pay for a cab ride back to the hotel in order to return her purse. She offered to give them more money for their kindness, but they wouldn't take it. (Because of this, I think it is wise to use a fanny pack instead of a purse... however, there were some times when I ended up using my neck pouch as sort of a purse... I always put it around my neck and over one shoulder, so it would be hard to grab and couldn't slip off. I was also glad I had taken out travel insurance... we came close to needing it!)
Next we took a bus to the registration office. Maggie enjoyed the bus ride. She was very alert and curiou. In the hall outside the office, the orphanage director handed me the disposable camera that I had sent previously. We waited for a long time in a small waiting room, then were called in two at a time to complete the paperwork. I had to read something and then sign a paper, then I put my thumb print over my signature and they put Maggie's foot print on the document as well. Our guide collected the fees and a gift for the registrar.
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We then went to the notary's office and waited again in a small room for our turn to be interviewed. I had to fill out a form and then answer some questions. I was asked my profession, salary, and reason for adopting. Then I was asked whether I was adopting voluntarily and whether I would ever harm or abandon Maggie. After everyone was interviewed, money started changing hands and gifts for the notary were collected. We had to pay for the notary, the baby's passport, and the orphanage donation. The amounts varied slightly from what we were originally told. One was less and another was more, but it worked out about the same in the end.
During this time, the orphanage director and her male assistant interacted with the babies. There was one baby who, like Maggie, would not take a bottle. The director tried to give her a bottle and then someone finally got the idea to try a cup. She drank some tea out of a big mug. I caught on to this idea and later was successful in getting Maggie to drink out of a cup as well.
I had a chance to ask the orphanage director a few more questions. I had a long list of questions, but there was not enough time for that. I asked her if Maggie had a nickname. She said it was "Shan Shan." (At first Maggie would respond to that name with a big grin, but now she has forgotten it.) I was told to feed her congee and to use food to comfort her. (Previously, I was given a one page written note that explained when and where Maggie was found, when she had been in foster care, and information on her personality, habits, eating, health, and daily routine.)
Maggie slept a little on the way back to the hotel. When we got back to the room, she had a three hour meltdown. I walked her back and forth across the room and talked to her, but it did not help. Finally she fell asleep. At the time, I thought that her crying was grieving, but knowing her better now, I think part of it was also that she was hungry and tired. She was also just beginning to cut her bottom teeth. As I got to know her, I figured out that when she was tired, she would rub her forehead and her crying sounded like "a-la-la."
We ordered room service for dinner, including a bowl of congee for Maggie. When she woke up, she ate the entire bowl of congee as well as some Chinese formula (milk powder) out of a cup. She played with some toys for awhile and she was quite cheerful. I had brought stacking cups, some tiny board books in a box, and a couple of rattles. She liked everything. After awhile, I put her in the crib and turned on the lullaby tape. She fell asleep quickly and slept almost all the way through the night, only waking up once for a couple minutes.