Evil Masterminding for Idiots!

Ker lounged back in his seat. "You could delegate to your captain, if it's such a bother for you." Good to his word, Ker had also adpoted an appropriate wardrobe. His closet was slowly filling with close-fitting, neatly tailored black outfits. His thin moustache and goatee were filling in nicely.

Javin scowled. "Sure, right," he said hotly. "You're just sayin' that because - "

"Gentlemen." Jessenia interrupted calmly but firmly. The sorceress still dressed in practical garb in her lab, but had several professional gowns tailoredfor meetings and other, similar occassions. Today's was a blood-dark velvet gown ornamented with gold braid. She actually rather liked the golden circlet the dwarven jewler had made for her that dangled a ruby droplet between her eyes. "The sooner begun, the sooner finished. It's only the weekly review and shouldn't take long. I'll begin. The snakemen are coming along nicely. If the current pair make it through the week and show signs of learning language skills, I can begin production in earnest as early as the end of the month. Unfortunately, this project is taking nearly all my time, so I haven't picked up any external commissions. But, I think you'll agree the work is a good investment in the future capabilities of Evil for Hire. Javin?"

The warrior stopped glowering at Ker long enough to make his report. "The dwarves are kick-ass fighters, no lie. Units One, Two, and Three are all hired out right now; One's done at the end of the month. Two and Three are under Kali and'll be out until the end of next month - The Temple of Screams wants 'em as a raiding band to harass some villages. They're becomin' real regulars. Unit Four and Five are on home duty this rotation, and I'm taking Six and Seven out for some raids as soon as my schedule," he sneered, "is clear. Dependin' on how the raids go, we might think about actual conquest pretty soon."

"How's the back pay issue?" Jessenia asked.

"All cleared up," Javin confirmed. "Last month's looting went great, and Kali negotiated great rates with the Screamers. Doom Legion is in the black."

"Fabulous. Your Doom Legion is our earning backbone right now, Javin. Ker? How are your projects going?"

"Well, I got the terror priests interested in us in the first place," Ker started. "I spent that long weekend in Laturia - "

"On the company silver," Javin grumbled.

"On company business," Ker replied smoothly but with a hint of irritation. "And I found out that the Lord Mayor's brother might be quite interested in hiring us to remove the Lord Mayor."

"Doesn't Laturia have a Thieves' Guild?" Jessenia frowned. "I don't want to start something by poaching their business. Not yet, anyway."

"The Lord Mayor has the Guild in his pocket, apparently. His wife might actually be the Guildmaster, I don't know. I've left Justin there to try and find out... and if she's attached to the man or the Mayor. Depending on what we learn, it might make the most sense to take the brother's money and then just subcontract out to the Guild. Or to sell him out to the Mayor. I'll have a better idea in a few weeks."

"How much money we talkin'?" Javin asked. Ker looked a bit uncomfortable. "Well... the brother isn't all that wealthy. But!" he hastened to add, "but, if we do take the job, he'll owe us a big favor and we'll have great blackmail on him. That's worth something."

"True," Jessenia agreed, raising an eyebrow at Javin before the big man could disparage Ker's deal further. "So you've gotten us an in with the clergy of Babu and a possible entry into the politics of Laturia - and maybe a conflict with their Guild. Anything else?"

Ker gave a slow smile. "Well, the spies in the Doom Legion report all is well."

Javin exploded up out of his chair. "What? You put spies in my Doom Legion?" Tossing the chair aside, he started striding purposefully around the table towards Ker. The slender black-clad man looked up innocently, apparently unruffled.

Jessenia was soon out of her chair as well. "Javin!" she called sharply.

"No, Jess! I'm not having this superior little bastard put his spies in my -" He was suddenly cut off as an arcane word and elaborate gesture from the sorceress froze him in place.

Ker raised an eyebrow. "Honestly, Jessenia, do you think that was really -" She repeated the routine and Ker froze as well.

"Listen, you two," she snarled. "I've got a low tolerance for this bullshit. Javin, the Doom Legion is big enough to harbor traitors. Spies make sense, and Ker knows spies. You want your own? Make your own, and your spies can watch his spies and we can all waste our time watching each other. Ker? You should have cleared this with Javin first, and you sure as hell shouldn't have pulled that attitude to announce it. Faugh!" She sliced the air with one hand, clearly disgusted. "I'm going to leave, and two minutes after that, the spell will drop, and you can tear each other apart if that's what you want to do, and I'll promote Kali and Justin to take your places. Got it?" Muttering, she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room.

There was two minutes of silence, while Javin stared at Ker and Ker stared at where Jess had been. The spell fell away, and the quiet continued for a few more awkward seconds. "She's mad," Javin finally observed quietly.

Ker was still staring at her chair. "I don't believe she actually enspelled us like that."

"Yeah." There was another moment of quiet, then Javin continued. "But I'm glad she did." Javin was a warrior and he knew his business. He'd blocked out the fight that hadn't happened in his mind during the two-minute pause: he'd start beating Ker, Ker would've pulled one of his many knives, and then it would have gotten deadly. "You gotta... stick with us, Ker. No goin' around our backs like that, okay? Or... or we're gonna be all fightin' each other, instead of the people we want to fight. Okay?"

Ker looked down at the table and nodded. "All right. Just... all right."

"Good. Well, I got to go. Six and Seven are waiting for me." Javin turned to leave for his raid.

"Sure thing. But, ah, Javin?"

The big man stopped. "Yeah?"

"Where'd you learn the expression, 'in the black'?"

"Huh? Oh, the Doom Legion boys. It's a dwarf thing, I think."

"Oh. Okay."