Notes: The scammers letters are posted exactly the way I received them. My replies are in the grey boxes, and the scammers and his aliases are in the other colours. I have added pictures, where necessary, in order to help those who are unfamiliar with some of the references I have made. I have also posted explanatory comments at the end of some of the messages, these also serve as a running commentary. 

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: GOOD NEWS
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2003 11:45:44 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Stu,

I got your mails and I am sorry that I have not been
able to reply you. I have been sent on an assignment
to Abuja and just came back today.

I am surprised at the last mail you sent on Sunday,
that you have cancelled the Law-talker Bankole Martins
bank transfer.

I will send you the picture you asked of tomorrow.

Stu, you can trust me as a partner and moreso a good
one.

You will have to prepare the transfer of the
Law-talking Guy again because I will be sending you
the picture tomorrow.

God bless you.

Regards
Joseph.

NOTES:

Ahh, the old 'I've been in Abuja' excuse - I don't know how many times I've seen a scammer use that one. I guess he's determined to make me 'pay' for what I said in my last email. Still, I'm not going to count my 'photographic chickens' before they hatch, as he may still decide to bail on me.

From: Bankole Martins <xxxx@lawyer.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: Why?
Date: Tue, 07 Oct 2003 02:56:07 -0500

Dear Quark Creek,

I am surprised at your mail but I do understand how you feel about this. If you
know you are not going to make use of me, why then did you allow me prepare the
document which you requested of.

If you are not going to make use of me anylonger, let me know.

Regards
Law-talker Bankole Martins

I want to trust you, but the longer I have to wait for your reply, the harder it gets.

However, I will wait a little longer, to see if you really can be trusted, before I make up my mind about whether or not to end our deal. Once I am satisfied that you can be trusted, I will go down to my bank and organise another money transfer.

I look forward to your prompt reply.

Regards,

Stu. P. D. Bistard.

NOTE:

Joseph's next message really annoyed me.

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: STRIKE.
Date: Wed, 8 Oct 2003 11:53:57 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Stu,

Please don't be angry that I have not sent you the
picture yet, there is an on-going national strike in
Nigeria now.

Banks are closed and I have not been able to collect
the picture from the photographer. I will try my
possible best to see how to get the photographer so
that I can send you the picture right away.

You will have to wait till I get the picture ready.

Regards
Joseph.

NOTE:

I can't decide whether he really wants to continue with our 'deal' or not. Just what is he up to?

However, there was a general strike planned for today, but it got cancelled early in the morning, Lagos time, so he may not have known that. I will send him an email to update him on the situation. Hopefully, this will stop him from dragging his heals again.

I read in the news that the strike has been called off, so you won't have any trouble getting the picture after all. This is good news, is it not?

Here is a news article about it that I found on the internet, just so you can see that what I said is true.

http://famulus.msnbc.com/FamulusIntl/ap10-08-183716.asp?reg=AFRICA

Now that the strike is off I trust that you will want to send me your picture very soon.

I look forward to your quick reply.

Regards,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTE:

Unfortunately, calling Joseph's 'technical' bluff had the opposite effect, as four days would pass without me hearing a peep out of him. I decided it was time to go for broke - again!

Dear Joseph,

I may not be able to help you get Michael Creek's money out of Nigeria after all.

The reason for this is because I'm going to buy a new boat next week. The boat will cost me about $63,000 cash, which will mean that I won't have much money left over to pay for legal fees and things.

I was going to wait until I got my share of Mr. Creek's money, but since it's taking so long I have decided not to wait any longer. I have attached a picture of the boat so that you can see for yourself how nice it is.

Sorry if this causes you any trouble.

Regards,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTE:

I decided that the only way to get Joseph back again was to appeal to his greedy scammer side.

By making out that I had $63,000 in cash to waste on a new boat I was hoping that he would figure I was too good a 'prospect' to give up on. The inclusion of a picture of a flash boat would, I figured, add credence to my claim, and, hopefully, prompt a swift reply from him.

Much to my surprise, it did!

The boat picture I sent him.

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: Please, till tomorrow
Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 11:49:38 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Stu,

Thanks for your mail. I will like to use this medium
to thank you for your assistance and effort towards
this project of ours. I pray that God Almighty we see
us through amen.

I am sorry that I have not sent you this picture yet,
as you know that I am the head of department in my
Bank, I have got lot of works to do, I have been
travelling to Abuja for sometime now trying to fit
somethings up and it has not been easy for me.

The picture is ready, I will send it to you as soon as
I get a mail from you that you are still interested in
helping me get Micheal Creek's fund out. I know it has
been my fault because I have not sent the picture since.

I saw the new boat you want to buy which will cost you
$63,000, it is really beautiful but please I will
appreciate it if you can help me first before you buy
the boat becuase you are going to be a god to someone.

I don't mind having one of those type of boat since I
will be coming down to Australia to invest my own part
of the money and you are going to be my partner so it
is only you that can make my dreams come true.

Dear Stu, get back to me as soon as you get this message.

God bless you.

Regards
Joseph.

NOTE:

Wow, Joseph got back to me pretty damn quick! I guess he really wants a cut of my $63,000 boat 'fund'.

Don't you just love how he says he wants a boat just like it when he comes to Australia? Too bad that's not going to happen.

Anyway, hopefully I will finally get my second 'trophy'. After all this time I bloody well deserve it!

After carefully thinking about your request, I have decided to give you one more chance.

However, I am only prepared to wait until Thursday, at the latest, after that it will be too late.

This is your last chance, Joseph, do not mess it up.

Regards,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTE:

If this doesn't work I think I'll give up!

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: SEE FOR YOURSELF
Date: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 05:50:30 -0700 (PDT)

Attachment : JosephOtumba.jpg (150k)

Dear Stu,

I got your last mail. I appreciate it for giving me
this little opportunity to express myself to you this
way. As you know fully well that I have been busy
doing my banking assignments and our own project, that
is why I have not been able to send this since then.

I believe now you can trust me and we can continue on
this project of ours and pray that God Almighty will
see us through amen.

I hope this transaction will be concluded next week by
the grace of God.

God bless you.

Regards
Joseph.

NOTES:

My first 'dumbass' picture! I thought it would never happen - well, at least not with this character!

Now what the heck do I do?

Should I end this game now, or keep on 'truckin' with it?

Frankly, I'm getting tired of messing with this guy, but how to end it? Should I make a clean break, or should I try for more?

I think I'll try for the clean break.

I just received your picture, thanks; it is just what I wanted. We can now continue with our deal with total confidence and trust in each other.

By the way, what time was it when you took the picture, and what sort of car is that behind you? Was the picture taken at your home?

Anyway, I went down to the bank and sent the $2800 off to the Law-talking Guy, so I will email him tonight and let him know. I will also send him a scan of the Western Union document that my bank gave to me.

Don't forget to answer my questions.

Have a nice day,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTE:

I have decided to pretend that I have sent the 'lawyer' the money, in order to get him to waste his time going down to the Western Union office. I'll do this a couple of times then I'll 'disappear'.

Dear Law-talking Guy Bankole Martins,

I have good news; the deal is back on and all systems are go.

I have, therefore, sent you the full amount of $2800 as agreed, and I have attached a scan of the Western Union document for your records.

Please advise me of the next step I must take.

Regards,

Quark Creek.

NOTES:

I found a blank Western Union form on the Internet, filled it in using my graphics program and sent it to the 'lawyer' as proof of payment.

I wonder how long it'll take before they try to 'cash in', only to realise that they've been had.

From: Bankole Martins <xxxx@lawyer.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: Verify the payment
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 10:03:16 -0500

Attn: Quark Creek,

Thank for your mail and the payment you said you made which I have seen the slip
of payment through western union. Unfortunately I was at the Western Union center
this afternoon for the collection of the US$2,800 for the document, and I was
told by the cashier that the payment is not valid. So I would want you to go
back to the bank and confirm what is wrong with your payment. And reattach the
slip again if you have verified the error from the Western Union center in your
country.

Make sure you get back to me if this is done. I will be expecting your call as
well. I would also want you to send me your phone number or fax number, because
it will be needed when the document is ready.

Thanks.

Law-talker Bankole Martins.

NOTES:

Funny about that payment being invalid, I wonder how that could have happened!

Actually, I was sure that Joseph would be the first to get back to me, but I guess he has to keep playing the game.

Anyway, let's see if we can end this whole saga now.

Dear Joseph,

The Law-talking Guy has informed me that my payment to him was invalid. When I checked with the after hours office of my bank, they told me that their security section had cancelled the payment. They are suspicious of why I am sending money to Nigeria, and wanted to know why I was doing it. They said that if I didn't tell them everything about our deal they would report the matter to the police. I told them I'd have to think about it first, and then get back to them with my answer.

Why are they doing this, Joseph?

What do you think is going on, and do you think I should tell them everything?

I'm getting worried about our deal now, and I'm having second thoughts about the whole thing.

NOTE: I am sending you a copy of the letter I had emailed to me by the bank security section.

Please let me know what I should do.

Regards,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTES:

I thought this bank security angle would be a good way of wrapping up this saga, but I hadn't counted on Joseph's determination to get hold of some cash. I signed my fake letter George Cowley, which is the name of a character in a British TV series called 'The Professionals'. George Cowley was the head of CI5, a secretive outfit similar to the CIA.

Dear Law-talking Guy Bankole Martins,

I contacted the after hours office of my bank to find out what was wrong with my payment and they told me that their security section had cancelled it. They told me that they were suspicious of why I was sending the money to Nigeria and wanted to know all about my business with you. I told them that it was secret and they said that they didn't care and demanded that I tell them everything. I said I'd have to think about it first and that I'd get back to them.

I'm confused about why they are doing this; do you have any idea what the problem might be? Should I tell them what I'm doing?

Please advise me of what to do, as soon as possible.

Regards,

Quark Creek.

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: NO PROBLEM
Date: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 05:49:36 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Stu,

I got your mail and I appreciate your effort but we
have continue no matter what so that we can conclude
this transaction in no time and I pray for God's mercy
on us amen.

There is nothing to worry about because we can still
get this project concluded. Please, remember that this
transaction is highly confidential, so don't tell the
Bank about this transaction, you know you have to keep
this to yourself only.

I have come up with a suggestion.

You will tell the bank that you are sending the money
to your brother in Nigeria, he has been there for the
past 6 months now and he will be coming back to
Australia by December and you want him to bring along
with him African art crafts for you.

So you are sending him the money so that he can buy
you African art craft, I will send you some African
Art craft pictures which you can send to the bank as proof.

I will like you to call me or send me your telephone
number, I guess the telephone service should have come
to install you telephone by now so as to explain this
better to you.

Get back to me if this suggestion is good enough.

God bless you

Regards
Joseph.

NOTES:

Well, I didn't expect this!

Instead of him wanting to back out, he has come up with a plan to keep the deal alive. Since I see an opportunity to score some more 'trophies', I think I'll play along.

From: Bankole Martins" <xxxx@lawyer.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: Ask him/her
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 07:20:15 -0500

Attn: Quark Creek

I got your mail stating that the Bank security section has concelled the
payment.

I will advise you to tell them what you are doing if you truely know it is your
brother's money you are trying to transfer from the bank.

You said you have a friend who is helping you out in Nigeria here, tell him/her
what the bank has told you and also ask for an advise on what to do. I hope he
will put you through.

Please send me a mail and let me know what your friend says.

Regards

Law-Talker Bankole Martins(SAN)

Although I am still very worried about what the bank may do, I think that your suggestion about the African art crafts is a good one. However, I won't make up my mind until I see the pictures and you have told me more about your plan.

As for calling you, well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the phone company has run the wires to my house and installed the telephone; the bad news is that they haven't been able to give me a number yet, as there aren't any spare ones available. This is because the telephone exchange is too small for the size of the town in which I live. So, unfortunately, we are just going to have to use the email for a little longer. I am really annoyed about not having a phone, but getting angry about it isn't going to change anything, so I guess I'll just have to wait.

Anyway, send me those craft pictures and more information about your idea, as soon as you can, so that I can decide whether, or not, to continue with our deal.

Have a nice day,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTES:

Hey, this is great; I'm going to get some more pictures!

Shame about the phone STILL not being on!

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: SEE FOR YOURSELF
Date: Sun, 19 Oct 2003 11:10:17 -0700 (PDT)

Attachment : Sellers.jpg (24k), paintingmask.jpg (6k), Nigeriantradition.jpg (27k)

Dear Stu,

Thanks for your response, I appreciate it. Please
there is nothing for your to worry about, the bank can
not do anything to you, I would have loved you to tell
them what business deal we are doing but because of
Security reasons, we still have to keep it to ourself.

If you tell them, the Central Bank of Nigeria will
definately know about the money, then we will both
loose it.

As for the African art & crafts I talked about, you
will tell the bank that you are sending the money to
your brother who is in Nigeria he has been in Nigeria
for 6 months now and he will be coming back to
Australia to spend the Christmas this year.

You want him to buy some African art & crafts for you
while coming. Tell them that you love African crafts
and you will like to have some in your house. You must
insist that they send that money for you because we
have no time now on our side.

The crafts pictures are attached to this mail, see
them for yourself

Get back to me so as to know if you have talked to the
Bank.

God bless you.

Regards
Joseph.

NOTES:

Wow, did you think of that plan all by yourself, Joseph?

Never mind, just look at the nice pictures he sent me. However, I decide to wait a few days before responding, just so that I know he's still keen.

JOSEPH AGAIN.

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: IT IS YOUR RIGHT.
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 03:11:03 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Stu,

How are you doing? I hope great.

I have not heard from you for 2 days now, I hope all
is alright.

Have you talked to the bank about the African art &
craft? Let me know.

Please note that the bank has no right over your property
and it is your right to decide on what you want to use
your money for and not the bank to decide for you.

Get back to me immediately you get this mail.

God bless you.

Regards
Joseph.

Sorry about the delay, the bank only got back to me this morning.

What the bank wants is an official letter from an art shop, stating how much each of those African crafts you sent me are worth. Here is what the letter must contain.

It must have the shops name and logo on the top, as well as its address.

The letter must be addressed to: George Cowley, Central Investigations, Branch Five.

It must have a brief description of what each artwork is.

It must have the name of each artist.

It must have a separate price for each artwork.

It must be signed by the manager of the shop AND by a witness.

If you can send me a scan of a letter like this, then I am certain that the bank will no longer be worried about sending the money.

Let me know how long it will take to get the letter and to send it.

Best wishes, and, as always,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTES:

I thought I'd try for yet another 'trophy', which is why I have asked for this 'verification' letter. Note the address for George Cowley - CI5, get it?

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: REDRAW.
Date: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 00:43:51 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Stu,

Thanks for your mail, I appreciate it and I pray we
live to see the end of this transaction amen.

If the bank is still worried about you sending the
money, then I have to tell you to redraw the money
from your bank and go to another bank operates on
Western Union to send it, you don't need to have an
account there before you can send money through
Western Union.

Please Stu, we have no much time on our side now, I
guess this way will be faster. I am sure the bank
cannot hold you not to redraw money from your account,
so I will like you to do as I have just said.

Get back to me as soon as you get this mail.

God bless you.

Regards
Joseph.

NOTE:

Joseph is getting annoyed with my delaying tactics and is trying to get around them. I'm not going to let him get off that easily!

The closest Western Union office to me is over two and a half hours drive away, which is why I have to go through my bank. I can't take time off work to go there either, as we are very busy right now and the boss needs everyone here. We are working seven days a week at the moment, as we have some very important contracts to finish.

Joseph, you don't need to worry about the bank man checking the letter to see if it is genuine, as he just wants something to put in his file so that he doesn't get in trouble himself.

All you need to do is make up a fake document that looks real. It doesn't have to have any pictures of the artworks on it, just a short written description of them, along with the rest of the things I mentioned in my other message.

Please try to get this letter made, as it is the only way we can make this work.

Good luck,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTE:

I try to shut off any argumentative escape routes that Joseph might come up with, but at the same time I try to make things a little easier for him.

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: A WEEK
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 11:24:01 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Stu,

Thanks for your mail.

Please note that it may take me up to a week to
prepare the official letter for you.

I will like you to be patient till I send you the letter.

Regards
Joseph.

NOTES:

When I saw he wanted a whole week I was rather taken aback - until my other persona, William Johnstone, who is also talking to Joseph right now, received his latest reply from him. You'll understand when you read that scambait - hint, hint!

Anyway, I decide to tell him that a week is far too long.

The bank wants the letter by Tuesday, at the latest. You will have to try your best to get it done by then, otherwise they will start asking a lot more questions.

It is important that you do this, as they are already very suspicious.

All the best,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: I WILL TRY.
Date: Fri, 24 Oct 2003 08:53:40 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Stu,

I will try my best and see what I can do before
Tuesday, but I have to search for some geninue address
and shop name.

Regards

Joseph

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: IS IT?.
Date: Sun, 26 Oct 2003 18:43:43 -0800 (PST)

Dear Stu,

Is it compulsory that the name and address of shop be real?

Get back to me immediately.

Regards
Joseph.

No, the name and address do not have to be real; as it is unlikely the bank will actually check the details on the letter.

However, the letter must at least look real, so do your best to get one that has all the things I mentioned in my earlier email.

Get back to me as soon as you can.

Regards,

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTE:

I am trying to make it easy for him by not being too demanding, plus I don't want to lose him at this late stage.

From: Joseph Otumba <xxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Stuart Bistard <xxxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: LETTER
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2003 11:54:13 -0800 (PST)

Attachment : LETTER.jpg (75k)

Dear Stu,

I have prepared a letter but I will you to know that
the address and the phone number are both real.

I hope with this, the bank will not be able to hold us
down anymore, send it to the bank and let me know
their reply.

Get back to me immediately.

Regards
Joseph.

NOTES:

This is great, my third 'trophy' from Joseph, and he's done such a good job on it too!

Well, I've got everything that I wanted, and more, now it's time to ditch this turkey!

I'm afraid I am going to have to call our deal off, as I am going to get in a lot of trouble if I don't.

The reason for this is because the Federal Police have been tipped off about my dealing with people in Nigeria. As a result, the Police are now threatening to investigate me. Since I can't let that happen, I have no choice but to terminate our agreement. But don't worry, I have deleted all of your emails, so they won't be able to find out about you.

I am really sorry about this, as we were so close to completing everything, but I just cannot risk being investigated by the police.

I have attached a copy of the letter I received from the police, so that you can see for yourself what they had to say.

Goodbye, Joseph, it was nice talking to you.

Stu P. D. Bistard.

NOTES:

This was my last letter, and, thankfully, he fell for it. Even though it's been one hell of a ride, I'm sure glad it's over. I signed the letter from the 'police' Walter Skinner, from Foreign Business Investigations, or F.B.I. Those of you who are fans of The X-Files will recognise the name, as the assistant director of the F.B.I in that show was also called Walter Skinner.

I must admit that I had no idea that this bait would last so long, and if I had known, I probably would have given up a long time ago. But hey, it was one of my very first baits, and no matter how 'retarded' it may have become, I still love it as much as all the others.

Footnote: I never heard from Joseph again, which kind of upset me, as I thought we were mates. (I'm joking, of course)