Well, a personal biography that is complete and concise is hard to achieve, nonetheless I will attempt to do so.
I was born in Idaho Falls, Idaho on the 16th of November 1968. Within three months of birth, I must have decided that I had learned all that I needed to learn from Idaho. Hartford Conneticut was to be my next home for the sum of two-and-half years. With my father divorcing my mother and winning my custody in court, my next move was to be in Phoenix, Arizona.
That is how I began my sojourn here on earth. I could go into more details of my moves, but with the great number thereof, this would be undesirable to both me and you. Suffice it to say that to date I have lived in 11 states officially and have moved a conservative estimate of 40 times. Obviously I do not have a hard time relocating. Nor do I find it difficult to make new friends wherever I go. Friends are very important to me. And my friends tend to have little to no similarity in background. The only consistent characteristics they have are:
I spent most of my childhhood education in the state of Arizona, although by no means entirely. My favorite state growing up was the state of Oregon, but alas, due to my body's physical state, the stay there was truncated to just over a one year. Every time we moved the family always seemed to be drawn back to the little suburbia called the towns of Snowflake and Taylor in Arizona. Together with the housing area of Shumway, they held the population of about 8000 - 9000. Primarily LDS (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints aka "Mormons"), the environment was fairly conservative.
As per my earlier statement of my body's physical state, as far as the doctors could tell I may have been born with what is known as Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. They knew for sure that I had it at about the age of 6 months. So in effectual terms, whether or not it was affecting me at birth, I have never known a day without the pains and limitations of arthiritis. It did hamper much of my activities here and there while growing up; I could never do as well as my contemporaries. It even once gave serious threat to confining me to a wheelchair for the rest of my life as the physicians had predicted to occur to me by the latest age of 15. Nonetheless, I have not allowed it to keep me from enjoying such outdoor activities such as mountain biking, hiking, camping, rock climbing, repelling, or whatever I may desire to venture. Thanks be to God and to serious efforts by my family and myself to thwart that underlying purpose behind the disease, I have not experienced that confinement.
Growing up was not a picnic, however, I did seem to be happy many a time. My father and stepmother divorced in 1985, for that was the last Christmas the family, as I had known it my childhood years, would be together. My father remarried to a special lady with five children of her own, and my 1st stepmother (mom) remmarried to a gentleman with no children. Spending about one year with my father and his new spouse, I graduated from high school in Arizona and moved to Maryland one week after. In Maryland I had to chance to become like best friends with my biological mother, while learning and taking responsibility of being on my own. In many ways, I now refer to Arizona as the state of my raising, and Maryland as the state where I grew up.
Before I moved to Maryland, I saw my best friend since 4th grade, Scott Chappell, get baptized into the L.D.S. church. The whole experience of having him over to my grandparents for the missionary discussions, his questions, and his decision to be baptized was a rewarding and learning experience. I ofcourse had to tease him that I once again fall into my old habits of getting him into something (before it was Scouts) only to leave him wallowing in it without me very shortly after doing so.
I served a full-time mission for the LDS church from July of 1989 to July of 1991 in the California Oakland Mission, which at that time covered in their entirety, the Contra Costa and Alameda counties. I really enjoyed my mission and endeavored to serve it well. Much was learned about relationships with my differing 12 companionships. My knowledge of the gospel increased and became more solidified in my studies and experiences.
I moved to Utah after completing my first two years of college at a private liberal arts college in Maryland called Goucher College. I finished my last two years of college education at the Utah State University. My studies were in Psychology and Finance. My extracurricular activities included involvement with a couple of fraternities, Ballroom Dance team, Institute Choir, the canyons of Cache Valley, and whatever came my way to enjoy. While there I met this special girl named Monica who I fell in love with. We dated for over one year. Also during that time, I had a friend named Rick who I had met four years prior come out to Utah to be baptized by me into the LDS church. Upon arrival in Utah, I had the chance to immediately take a trip to Las Vegas, Nevada to see my sister wed. Since then, she has divorced and remarried. My sister has given birth to my two nephews and three nieces as of the year 2001. On the trip back from her first wedding I met another special friend by the name of Jordan, who is jewish in descent, and one I immediately came to adore and appreciate a friendship with. Jordan is a free spirit who has met a wonderful woman to whom he has married and loves dearly.
Monica and I ended our one year dating relationship near the end of January 1997. It was hard for us both, but the reasoning behind it was sound. We remain as good as friends as ever and still can carry on a 3-4 hour conversation (over the phone or in person).
As of January
1st 1997, I made my final decision to "come out of the closet".
This was a decision that in reality was being processed and determined in
my mind ever since 11 years of age. That was the age where my sexuality as
part of the onset of puberty started to become an issue. My first relationship
with a man once out of the closet began the first week of January and ended
before the end of that month. I discovered his real age, and could not shake
the undesirable image that when I was holding his hands it was like holding
hands with my father. My second relationship was spur of the moment and in
fact became as an easy yet harsh way for me to cut the ties with the previous
gentleman. That relationship lasted 2.5 months. The problem with this relationship,
other than the reason I got involved, was that we always argued, communication
was very limited, and our goals were not in alignment (being in alignment
does not necessarily mean alike). That relationship was ended on the note
that if he was not willing to sit down and have a serious discussion about
our relationship in the period of two weeks, I would go out on a date the
night at the end of the two-week period. If he was willing to, then the date
would have been cancelled. He chose to not have the discussion, so I went
on the date. So, although we still shared the apartment for two months afterwards,
our relationship as boyfriends was officially over.
During the course of those two months, I dated frequently. I would meet guys
through the internet, at social gatherings, at the dance clubs, and two guys
I would meet via a personal ad I took the challenge of placing. From that
personal ad I "served" as a college football player's first time
and I met Ken. Ken and I hit it off right from the start. He lived down in
Filmore (about 2.5 hours from Salt Lake City). The morning after our all-day
date, his mother asked him if he had a good time on his date, then if the
date was with a girl or a guy. I guess since I was the only one who called
Ken a few times from Salt Lake City, she thought to include the "date
with a guy" option. He ofcourse answered with a guy, and that the date
was wonderful. We had a good three years together. However, due to a few issues,
mainly that he never felt like he got to experience being a single gay man,
that he never really got to know himself without me, he left. That was a very
difficult time for me. He ended up coming back as a roommate but not as a
boyfriend for awhile; however, this both made it easier and much more difficult
for me. The place we shared was only a one-bedroom place. We tried to have
him sleep on the couch, but that did not work. I eventually had to tell him
that one of us had to go, because, if we were not going to get back together,
I had to get on with my life wihtout having him live with me. During this
whole time I dated very frequently. It was a way to not be home and have to
face Ken and the fact that we were no longer together. It was a coping mechanism
and a force myself to live life in a way without him through dating many others
to protect myself from getting hurt even more due to my desire for us to get
back together and yet feeling like it was not going to happen. Through all
of this and more, Ken and I have been able to keep a very close friendship.
I feel like I can talk to him about anything at virtually any time. I beleive
he feels the same with me. He has now learned many things over the course
of being single for nearly 2 years. He has a new boyfriend who I think is
very good for him plus the fact that physically he is more Ken's type. (We
rarely shared the same type attractions towards guys, but we were nonetheless
attracted to each other, based on a deeper level than just physique.)
In June of 2000 I met Carlos. I had been coerced into going to Axis (a dance
club) on their gay night. I never did actually meet the friend as planned
there. In only 3 minutes of being on the dance floor, Carlos, a tall latin
(Brazilian) with his shirt off caught my attention. My mood was different
for me, for without second thought I just let my instincts take over only
to marvel afterwards at my forwardness in flirting with Carlos so quickly.
Since I am writing of Carlos, it can easily be assumed he returned the flirts.
It seemed almost instant the shared attraction between us. For the first three
months we spent time with each other everyday with the exception of three
random days and a period of 5 days where I was off on a business trip. He had
a living space in the basement area of a friend's house. His friends told him that
he either had to move out or see me much less often. One of his "friends"
insinuated that his other option was to break up with me. Carlos did not like that
idea, so he moved in with me. We have some similarities, many differences, but for
the great majority of the time we enjoy each other's company. Unfortunately,
our relationship grew to more of a friendship. With romance or passion no longer
in the picture, we broke up after 21 months together.
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